Akatsuki Katz BWTM
by Britt3899
Summary: Sequel to Akatsuki Katz FTW. Follow Crissi, Kris, and their new friend Riri as they journey to the world of Naruto and try to be with their boyfriends/crushes while being related to a certain kit in Konoha! Rated for Language, Duckbutt-bashing Sasuke-bashing , normal ninja-violence, and Sakura-Bashing
1. Chapter 1

**Akatsuki Katz; BWTM (But Wait, There's More)  
Sequel to Akatsuki Katz FTW (For the Win)  
Yola!  
**

* * *

"Fucking pervert!"

"Heyyyyy don't talk to your grampa like that!"

"Screw you!" ***bonk***

"Owww! Kris that hurt!" A brunette with what could only be called Deidera Bangs that had purple stripes huffed.

"Good, I hope it hurt like a bitch Jiraiya!" The sennin pouted and then turned to his left.

"What do you want Grampa?" The crimson haired girl with thick, black, rectangular glasses said, her eyes on her book. Jiraiya looked closely at the orange cover.

"... You snuck into my bag again." He deadpanned. The crimson-haired girl shrugged. A dark brown haired girl laughed from in front of the trio.

Actually, I should call them women, since the three are twenty years old.

Kris looked at her sister by adoption. "Crissi, you need to put the book down."  
Only now do we notice that the trio are hoping tree branch to branch, getting closer and closer to a large gate. A large pack on each of the four's backs, the girls with an even larger one in hand.  
Meet Kris Nummers and Crissi Lange. Or Kirsten and Chrystal. Whichever.

Also known as the protagonists of Akatsuki Katz FTW.

But meet Nichole Brown, or Riri. The cousin of Kris who had met up with them a month before the trio met Jiraiya.

Now you must be wondering; Where are they? Branch to Branch? Jiraiya?

Well, if you don't know, let me tell you what happened that Thursday night.**  
**  
_"To Konoha? You're Crazy!" Kris shouted at the sennin. "We don't belong there! It's anime."_  
_"Why do you think the Akatsuki were found by you? Because your of our world. And your point is? It's anime to this world, but real to us." Jiraiya stated. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Kris shook her head then went to answer the door._  
_"How?" was all Crissi asked Jiraiya_  
_"Well, simply because Naruto wasn't Minato's first kid. Crissi, why do you think your hair is crimson? Because of your mother." Kris came back into the room, but she wasn't alone._  
_With her was Nichole Brown, or RiRi. Nichole went wide-eyed as she saw Jiraiya. She turned to Kris then Crissi then shouted._  
_"WHAT THE HELL?" Crissi laid a hand on her shoulder._  
_"We told you that we took care of the Akatsuki." was all she said. Nichole's eye twitched._  
_Jiraiya smiled. "ah, this is good. The I won't have to go find you Riri. You're also in this."_  
_"How did you know my nickname perv?" Jiraiya's smile fell and he whined_  
_"Why does everyone say that?" He waved it off. "Whatever. I know your name because I had to babysit you rascals in the day. Kris actually helped me write my first book."_  
_"That proves everything." Crissi and Riri deadpanned as Kris rubbed the back of her head._  
_"But how can we be related? I mean, I have brown, almost black hair, and Kris has brown. Crissi I could understand but..." _  
_Jiraiya shrugged. "Simple. All of your traits aren't normal in the Uzumaki lineage. If I'm correct, the last person with brown hair in that family was Minato's great-grandmother. I'm quite surprised any of you didn't come out blond."_  
_"I thank Jashin for that." Kris shuddered at the thought of having bright yellow hair, then backtracked. "Wait, that means we're related to Naruto." Jiraiya nodded then motioned for them to go up stairs._  
_"Go pack, we leave in five minutes." So pack they did. Each of them must have thrown in five sticks of deodorant, a shit ton of razors and shaving cream, girl needs, and clothes. Riri had drove to her apartment and gotten her stuff. They also threw in some other things also. *Cough* Kris took her pervy stuff too *Cough*_  
_And then there was none._**  
**  
And branch to branch means they were ninja jumping. Yes, Ninja Jumping, how you may ask?  
Simply because Jiraiya has trained them in secret, while he and Naruto have been gone for the two years. Every day Jiraiya would send Naruto to do some training, and during that time he would be with the three, helping them master their element and simple taijutsu and genjutsu. The blond boy was going to meet Jiraiya at the gates, having no clue about his travel companions.

Quite simple if you think about it. Though, they did go along with it rather well right? Simply because they, Kris and Crissi, were in shock, but both thought the same thing, though about different people.****

_'I can see him again.'_**  
** And Riri? Well...  
she just had to see this.

* * *

**Britt: Now I warn you, this story may seem a little out-of-sorts. It's called having POD216 and her sister, Twinkie216 helping me with it on google docs. Three anime-loving girls typing at the same time, plus the chat bar, equals long nights and sleep-deprived brains, and a bit of choppy-ness.**

**But it shall go on!**

**Crissi/Orochimaru**

**Kris/Tobi-Madara**

**Riri/Kisame (Most likely)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh, I don't own anything except Crissi. POD216 owns Kris, and Twinkie216 owns Riri**

**Akatsuki Kats BWTM  
Any Fucking day now...**

* * *

You know, Jiraiya is a freaken ass hole. Like seriously. We are about an hour, an hour, away from the gate and what does Jiraiya do?

Sets up camp.

"Can I punch that jackass?" Kris 'asked' as she, Riri and Crissi walked to the lake, towels in hand.

"I don't give a damn, just leave some for Tsunade when we get to Konoha." Kris smiled and after putting a barrier around the lake, jumped in. Crissi doubled up the barrier then jumped in herself and relaxed. Riri laughed, wrapping a towel around herself and just putting her feet in the chilly water.

_Flashback-_  
_"Okay, so there's a lake over there," Jiraiya pointed north "and we'll set up camp here."_  
_"Lake?"_  
_"To bathe smart one." Kris rolled her eyes. Crissi wasn't really with it. Though, it was expected, since it's only the first day of travelling out of two years. Riri was quite mellow today, since she hadn't had coffee that day and was extremely tired._  
_"Shut it Idjit." Crissi smiled at her habit- at least something will stick with her no matter what in this world._  
_"Transformers geek." Riri teased and dodged as Crissi tried to Gibbs slap her._  
_Ever since they entered this world, their hair color was more vibrant, their skin clearer, and their curves more outlined._  
_"Let's go wash this crap off." The two girls went to the lake, a Pervy Sage following them secretly_  
_"Gahk- It's cold!" Crissi shouted when Kris pushed her into the water, laughing._  
_"No it- HOLY SHIT THAT'S LIKE ICE!" Kris was pulled into the lake. Riri basically busted a gut._  
_*giggle giggle* "Did you hear that Crissi?" *Giggle giggle* "What about you Riri?"_  
_"... three guesses and the first two don't count." The two got out of the water and put towels on, quietly walking towards the bush that moved a bit. Riri followed, still having clothes on._  
_"Oh this is be great for my book! I love my research!" The girls saw Jiraiya hiding in the bush with tissues up his nose._  
_"PERVERT!" Luckily, the girls didn't have anything sharp.. or blunt.. to castrate him with, so he was just majorly bruised. _  
_Flashback end_

Once the girls finished their bath they went back to Jiraiya. They saw him once again working on their identity cards. Kris swiped them from his hands and read them.

Kirsten Nummers-Uzumaki. Twenty years old, chuunin. Then it described her looks and had relatives (Jiraiya, Naruto, Minato, Kushina, Nagato). It was the same for Crissi except it was Chrystal Lange-Uzumaki, and Riri's is Nichole Brown-Uzumaki.

"Dude, stop messing with them." Kris threw them back at the sage and sat next to the fire, her hair already drying. Crissi grabbed the next Icha Icha volume and started reading, finishing the book quickly then going to sleep. This was normal now- early to bed, early to rise, the faster to get away from the Perverted Hermit. Riri sighed as she slipped into her sleeping bag. Yeah she was their friend, hell she was related to them! It's just that she's only been hanging out for them for about a month before going into the ninja world, and the two years of training didn't leave much time for conversing.

Maybe when they reach Konoha, she'll be able to fit in more.

* * *

When they woke up, camp was already taken down, but Jiraiya was nowhere to be found.  
"Where is that freaking pervert?" Kris swore as she rolled up her sleeping bag.  
"Probably at a harem place." Crissi said bluntly. "Let's just go to Konoha without him- we have all  
of our crap right?" Riri double checked that everything was packed, then laughed.  
"Crissi, he left you a volume of Icha Icha." Crissi beamed and took it, stashing it in her bag.  
"Yeah, and here's the identity cards. Just grab our headbands and let's go." And that's what they did. Kris held the cards while Crissi was a few feet ahead of her, her glasses helping her see a bit further. It was like she was scouting but without going that far ahead.

Kris started fiddling with her sleeve and wondered how Tsunade would react. Jiraiya had told them what he did was secret, so he would probably get a beating soon. Riri turned to her cousin.  
"Hey, if Tsunade tries anything, it'll be fine. We're the Ninja-Musketeers, we can take anything on."  
"I know Riri, but I'm worried about Crissi's mentality. Did you notice that she didn't put her armbands on today?" Riri nodded as she looked at Crissi's scarred arms. "She took it the worse when they left. Now that she's in their world, albeit with us, she might break soon."

You know, I've never told you what they wear now that they're in the ninja world.  
Kris wore her hair up in a high ponytail, being tied up with a dark blue ribbon and left her DeiDei bang hanging down her face. She had on black knee socks and purple skulls littered on it, with black nike tennis shoes.  
**(A/N POD216: Heres what the shoes look like... /listings/men-nike-shox-black-tennis-shoes-sz-9-5.)**

She also had on a dark green jean shorts with a silver belt. Kris's shirt was a dark green long sleeve half shirt with a fishnet shirt underneath. She had her tan ninja bag (the bag that holds kunia, senbon, scrolls...ect.) strapped onto her belt, black straps holding the bag to the belt.

Riri wore knee long black shorts with many, many pockets, a deep green tank top that is laced in the back, plain black ninja shoes and a tan ninja bag at her hip. She had a scroll on her other hip, holding her weapon.

While Crissi wore an almost neon blue corset with mesh on her shoulders and sleeves, fingerless gloves, and black shorts with a simple white belt, two ninja bags on the belt. Her combat boots on her feet, a kunai and senbon holster on her leg that had fishnet up to her knee and the other with only a strip of fishnet on her thigh.

Notice how it's almost neon blue? Yeah, Kris still didn't like neon colors...

Poor, poor Naruto...

He will have to be stuck with a complaining Kris, who will most likely to whine and complain about her eyes getting ready to bleed, not like that would happen, but she would still complain.  
Well, her eyes might bleed...  
It all matters on how vivid the color is I guess.

Riri laughed as Kris retold one of the mornings that the Akatsuki lived in their house. Crissi rolled her eyes then turned her head to her two friends.  
"What are going to do? I mean, being Konoha ninjas when we have relationships with S-rank criminals?"  
"Frikken go with it. If we get a chance to go with the Akatsuki, or for you go with Hebi or Sound ninjas, then take it. Don't bother with anything else- take the damn opportunity and tell the other two of us when it's safe to."  
"Would she really go with Hebi? Sasuke and Karin would be dead within the hour!" Riri exclaimed, knowing that Crissi was thinking of ways to kill the duckbutt and slut in her head.  
"...Touche."** (A/N POD216: IRUKA GET OUT OF MY EPISODE! Hehe, Abridged fan all the way... Britt: Ditto)**

* * *

Kotetsu groaned and slammed his head down on the wooden surface in front of him. He and Izumo had gate duty- like always!

And he would be thrilled if Naruto came but- like anyone else! But he isn't as thrilled about it as he was two hours ago!  
The blond boy was going on and on about his two years. Yea, Both he and Izumo had been surprised when Naruto came up to them, but when he said he had to wait for the damn sennin, he thought he was going to go deaf!

"Psst. Kotetsu, look! Actual people!" Kotetsu's head shot up and he and Izumo greeted said people over enthusiastically.

"Welcome to Konohagakure! May we see your IDs please?" The woman with dark brown- or was it black?- hair handed them the IDs after taking them from the crimson haired girl.  
'These must be fake... Naruto has no other relatives other than Jiraiya, well ones that are known.' Kotetsu thought looking over at Izumo. They gave short nods to each other and turned back to the girls.

Then the one with purple in her hair spoke up.  
"We were travelling with Jiraiya, but the pervert left us about an hour back thataway." She pointed to the way they had come. "You know where-"

"YOU WERE TRAVELING WITH THE PERVY SAGE?" Naruto screamed in Kris's ear, making her twitch like she was having a seizure.  
Crissi had to hold Kris up, as she was twitching so bad, "My ears... my eyes... they are internally bleeding..." Kris muttered and Crissi looked at Naruto, suddenly Crissi's eyes hurt a little too.  
"Damn, that is a bright orange... Sorry Kris." Riri voiced in walking over to Naruto and glomping him. "I'll save your eyes Kris!"  
"Stop fussing over Naruto's clothes and let him see the rest of the village - what happened to her?" Jiraiya seemed to have popped out of nowhere and was pointing to Kris, who was still twitching.  
"Shes bleeding internally because she hates bright colors..." Riri explained, you would think after two years Jiraiya would of picked up on her hatred for bright colors, but somehow he didn't.  
"Well that is a huge hatred..." Jiraiya stared a bit longer before shrugging and telling us to come on. Kotetsu and Izumo had never looked so happy in their lives as the group walked away.

"Finally!" Izumo sighed in relief. "That was the worst two hours of my life."  
"I hope I never have to go through that again." Kotetsu agreed. Then turned serious, "They had Uzumaki on their cards. Do you think they are really apart of Naruto's clan or do they have Master Jiraiya under a jutsu."

Izumo waved him off, "Don't worry he is a sennin, he would know if he were under a jutsu, though it is fishy, I don't think there is anything wrong with him or the girls, they seemed innocent enough."

"Yeah but did you see Naruto's reaction and their comments, It was like they had never met before." Kotetsu sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "This just doesn't seem right to me and I don't want to get in trouble by the Hokage by letting a rouge ninja into the village."

"Well, Jiraiya is going to see the Hokage, she'll do something about it, don't you worry." Izumo said, he had to trust the Sennin and not let his subconscious get him into trouble.  
"Fine, I guess you're right." Kotetsu went back to lounging in his chair again.

* * *

**Hokage Office-**

Tsunade slammed her hands down on her desk and stood up, gaining all of the attention of the people in the room but one, Kris. She was right now struggling against Jiraiya, Naruto, Riri, and Crissi, trying to get away from them so she can wring the life out of Sakura, AKA "The little pink haired Uchiha slut", and while that was going to Sakura stared wide eyed at Kris, she was also shaking at the words coming out of Kris's mouth.

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade shouted. Kris only glanced at her, but she settled down.

"Get off of me unless you want your hands bitten off, roasted in the blood that comes with it and eaten like soup." All the hands left Kris and then the bipolar girl was then smiling and rocking back and forth on her feet. "What, why is everyone staring at me..." Riri and Crissi just rolled their eyes, Jiraiya just sighed and Naruto, Shikamaru, Temari, Sakura, and Tsunade just stared at Kris. Shikamaru and Temari had just walked in to see her throwing threats at Sakura then for Tsunade to tell them to shut up, during this time Kris had never noticed them come in.  
"Wh-who is she?" Shikamaru asked staring wide eyed at Kris, her expression turned dark again.  
"RUN!" Crissi yelled as Kris lunged at Shikamaru's throat, Shikamaru didn't even see it coming and snapped his head back as Kris's hands clawed the air to get to his throat. Crissi had a hard time holding onto Kris though, having similar feeling towards the boy, and soon Kris had wiggled out of her grasp and tackled Shikamaru. Kris's hands automaticly found his neck and she squeezed, while jerking his head back and forth.

"Die you (This part has been cut out due to the fact that even if this was rated M it would still be too bad to hear.)" Kris took forever to get off of Shikamaru, she had a grip of titanium, solid and hard. Shikamaru was now in the corner of the room next to Sakura, both of them shaking horribly at the glare Kris was giving them. Jiraiya looked at Crissi's hands and saw them turning pure white.  
"Crissi... calm down please.." He said slowly as if talking to a frightened animal. He watched as  
the fist slowly relaxed and Crissi let out a large breath.

"Keep the Pink Haired Bitch away from me. No one touches Chucky." Riri's eyes widened and she threw a small medication bottle at Crissi, who took two of the small blue pills in it.  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Tsunade yelled at Kris. Kris turned her glare to Tsunade, even making Tsunade's hard glare falter a little.  
"HOPING TO SAVE MY FAMILY FROM THEIR FATE! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!" Kris was furious and it was hard for all of the ninja other than Sakura, Shikamaru, and Tsunade to control, she seemed to be acting like an untamed beast.  
"Kris! Calm down! You're gonna get us kicked out of the village!" Crissi yelled at Kris, Riri was going to say something but Kakashi entered from the window. Riri saw out of the corner of her eye that Crissi swooned a little bit then recomposed herself.

"Lady Tsunade, I know you told me to wait but I believe I need to help out." Kakashi waited for the Hokage to respond. She still was glaring at the girl in front of her but turned to Kakashi to say,  
"Fine." He climbed through the window and took a seat on the ledge watching the... odd sight.  
Riri coughed a little to get everyone's attention.

"Yeah, umm." She started uncomfortably, not really liking the attention she brought to herself.  
"Well, we came here with Jiraiya because we need a place to stay." She moved her fingers around sort of like Hinata. "Plus we have some things to work out with our family."  
"Family?" Naruto asked astonished. She shook her head, smiling slightly. How she felt blessed that she didn't miss her family.

"Yeah, well before I came here... let's just say some bad things happened." She started off dully.  
"Like what?" He asked. She gave a small shrug.  
"Meh," Riri said simply. He gave a confused look.  
"What?"  
"Nothing, okay something happened, and I really don't want to go into detail." She said sheepishly, looking around the room at everyone staring at her. She huffed a big sigh and nudged Crissi. "Dude, do something." She whispered. Crissi nodded, and cleared her throat.

"A long time ago, people changed, because things happened, she ended up with us." She smiled and then glared. "Now shut up about it." She snapped, then smiled again, looking to Kris. "Have anything to share?" Kris shrugged.  
"Keep the pink haired bitch away, unless you need her to die, Naruto go goth, you're too happy all the time, it's annoying, Shikamaru," She turned to him. "Fuck you." He gave her a confused look and she scowled at him.  
"What did-"  
"Go to hell." With my sweet, loving *cough*, caring, Hida-kun. She added mentally, keeping up her glare. He didn't try again. Luckily, and then everyone settled down. Tsunade dismissed everyone but the new trio and Jiraiya, who explained everything to Tsunade. He cleared up some confusion, but she still seemed puzzled about a different world. After a moment of silence Nichole, again drew everyone's attention by coughing a little.

"Hm, well if that is all we will be going." She said meekly. "Or at least let me go, I really don't need the extra stress right now..." With that Tsunade let them go,but not after threatening to kick them out of the village if Kris where to kill anyone and because she didn't want them in her company.  
Though she had Jiraiya stay so that way they could talk about something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Riri's POV-**

I had an uneasy feeling about staying here. I sort of liked being moved around. It kept the memories of my family away, and unable to bother me. I frowned and looked to Kris and Crissi. I sighed and they glanced over at me.

"You don't seem like yourself today." Crissi said bluntly, not really seeming to care, but giving me the feeling that she sort of did. I shrugged.  
"Well, I am usually fed before I die of starvation. Or closer." I replied, shyly. They didn't really know me well enough to seem to care about my past. Even though we had spent two years together as a group, traveling around and training, I had always sort of been the third wheel. I can't say I minded not having anyone to talk to. It just gave me an excuse to train more than them. I can't say I didn't enjoy that. And they might have called Jiraiya a pervert, but really wasn't that bad when he was serious.

"My parents got so depressed that they left me in the night while I was sleeping..." Kris said then smiled, "I lived all alone since I was 11, My oldest sister died, she was in Germany visiting her lover, he was a soldier and she was at the base as a group of people from germany went and bombed the base. Someone had video taped it and it was played on the news, apparently someone had pulled a false bomb to blow up in the back and when the soldiers filed out they all stepped in the mines that they had put up. My sister was the first to blow up, then her lover, then his best friend, then the general and then everyone else. Blood went everywhere, and all you could hear was the bombs exploding and the person holding the camera laughing as everyone blew up." Kris said it like she was commenting on the weather, without a care in the world. That was starting to creep me out.

I spoke up, "Why was she let into the base? I thought it was restricted and private property."  
"It is, she was delivering shipments and she had requested to go to his base for a surprise."

"Oh," I looked down, I had put myself in an 'I-had-it-worse' scenario and realizing that she had it worse made me feel ashamed. "Sorry."  
"Oh don't feel sorry now, there is more. My other siblings died in front of me as well." We all got to a shop and ordered tea as we sat down at a table in the corner of the room, away from everyone else. "I got front row seats to all of my siblings deaths. Youngest brother was the next one to go. Shot on the stairs to his school, I was walking him and someone had missed their shot. But don't worry, I studied the plate number and car kind/color and found him soon enough." She chuckled, she sounded like she was talking in a normal conversation. Not one about how she got revenge on a man for killing her brother. "I shot him in the leg and killed his son to see how he liked it when-"

"Okay stop!" I covered my ears and put my head on the table, I didn't want to hear anymore, this was making me sick. Sadly she ignored me. I could still hear her.

"I shot his son right in the head, he looked about 7 and was really scared. To think an eleven year old killing a 7 year old in front of his dad. His dad yelling for me to kill him instead, the boy crying, I would never give anyone the satisfaction of killing a loved one and me not killing theirs. I like to play fair." She chuckled again and let her head fall she was remembering a family memory that she loved, not a murder that she had done.

I slammed my hand on the table."For the love of God, Kris. Shut the hell up!" I exploded. "I don't care about how you murdered him, just let go of it, because I really don't want to hear it! Why can't you listen to me for one fucking moment?" I hissed.  
Crissi nodded, and puckered her lips."Yeah, that's boring. How about we go around and share something... or do you guys want to start the night over, 'cause, this is not what I planned, at all." She said smugly.

"But I never got to the good part!" Kris pouted. "Poo you and" She turned to me, "You need to face the fact that here in this world, killing is a way of life for almost everyone, not just hand selected people." Kris, I think was trying to be nice about it, but it didn't help my mood.

* * *

**Kris's POV-**

_'I wonder why she got so scared? I was only talking about how I killed - ohh. Now I get it, she thinks I'm a cold blooded murderer.'_ I looked at her and smiled, she peeked from her arms that she had wrapped around her head. "Please calm down, I wasn't trying to sound so cruel." She loosened up a bit but kept a firm eye on me.

"So who's ready to go train?" Crissi suggested, smiling at us. I groaned, Sakura and Naruto were training with Kakashi and that meant we would see Sasori and Deidara soon. We should be planning what to do when that time comes!

Yes, I watched Shippuden with Riri, not Crissi. We knew when we would meet our family, we knew when they would die. Those memories were the only thing I dreamed about. I had to remember them so that I could save them when it's their time to leave. 'I get to see my family again!' I thought as excitement filled me up to the brim with joy.

"I think we should work on plans to save their lives, we may be able to go on that mission to the sand if we get Naruto to agree, I want a chance to kill the Pink haired bitch, she annoys me to no end." I ranted.

Riri nodded, "We need to speak to Kakashi about that."  
"But we probably won't be able to go because Kri blew a fuse over both of them, yelling that shes gonna kill the pink and white haired bitches." Crissi looked skeptically over at me.

"Umm... Oops?" I shrugged, "We either go with them as a group or without them as rogue ninja and save my beloved Puppet." I put my hand in the center of the table. "Who's with me."  
Riri nodded and smiled, then put her hand on mine. "I'm in, I want to see the puppet, and the sexy bomber." She giggled and I about puked, 'who wants to see a Nazi, oh that is revolting to call him sexy!' I thought mentally gagging.

We looked at Crissi and she nodded, "No reason why I wouldn't be in, I miss them as well. I don't want my family to die or leave me again." She put her hand in. I smirked.

"Lets go make plans and check out Sakura scaring the shit out of Kakashi." Kris paid the bill with the money she had taken as a tip from another table, Crissi and Riri's sweat dropped.

"Really?" Crissi asked.

"Yes, I have no money and I'm too lazy to work." I replied, which was a lie because I had plenty of money, but I just didn't want to spend it.

"I thought you didn't like Kakashi or Sakura." Riri stated tilting her head to the side.

"Doesn't mean I won't go there to see Naruto in action. I miss the guy already." I started to walk to the training ground they were on, leaving Crissi and Riri to backtrack a moment.

Third Person POV  
Crissi laughed as Kakashi's head popped up from the ground.

"Hey Kris, Crissi, maybe we can get Jiraiya to get us on team 7." Riri suggested, but Kris shrugged.

"Sai is-" Crissi jumped up and started jumping around giddily.

"Sai! I'm going to make that Ink boy smile! I swear it!" She had a grin that stretched for miles.

"Riri... one pill a day for her for now on." Kris was talking about the blue pills- simple depression pills.

"Kay. But one of us should go find Jiraiya." No one really wanted to do it.

"...I'll go find Grampa." Crissi sighed and jumped down from the tree. She was really the only one that called him 'Grampa'.

* * *

**Crissi POV**

_'Gotta check the wash houses first...'_ I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I was just walking, I couldn't be bothered to run to search for Grampa. _'Kris really lost it earlier, but then again I almost did too. I can't believe it, if we're on a team with Pinky I'll probably commit murder.'_ Three wash houses down, two to go._ 'But how am I going to get to the Sound village? Kris and Riri have good chances of going with the Akatsuki on the Suna trip, but I want to get there so I can convince DuckButt not to kill Orochi...'_ Finally!

"Grampa!" I whisper yelled. I crouched down next to him and read his notes. "Needs more conversing. But anyways, we gotta talk to Tsunade." Jiraiya groaned.  
"Hey I think someones peeking!" the two heard from inside.

"Grampa let's go!" I grabbed him since he was still nose-bleeding and did a quick handsign, only leaving a bit of smoke behind.

"What's the meaning of this!" Tsunade shouted when we appeared in her office. It wasn't like she was doing anything important, just drinking her beloved Sake...  
"Well-" If I let Grampa go on, I'd probably be killed.  
"Tsunade, I was wondering if possibly... ..."  
Everyone in the room (Shizune, Jiraiya, Tsunade) san me blinked and a collective "What?" was my response.  
"Would you let my friends and I on team 7?"  
"Why would I do that! The Kris girl almost killed two of my shinobi! One of which in on that team!" I winced.  
"It was a one time thing, I swear. It's just, she doesn't do well with.. pink? Yeah that. But I think Naruto would like having his three sisters on his team... and yeah, too many people, but  
Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi can help us train a bit more!" Tsunade sighed.  
"Fine.. Just leave me alone.. I'm getting too old for this."  
"Thanks Gramma!" I shouted just before I left in smoke.

* * *

**Third Person POV**

Riri moaned as she sat against a tree, watching the three shinobis finish up their training.  
Kris grinned and threw a small pebble at the back of Sakura's head.

"Bulls-eye!" Riri laughed then tapped the scroll at her side. She stood up and walked over to the three shinobi.

"Um, hey. I know you guys just got done training, but could Kris and I spar with you? It's just... We're waiting for Crissi so.. yeah.."

"No." They answered flatly. Riri's, sweat dropped.

"Okay then." She shied away with Kris. "So now what do we do?" She asked helplessly. Kris slapped the back of her head lightly, angry with her for making the stupid comment. She mumbled 'This is how you do it.' under her breathe and Riri just stared at her, curiously.

"You" She pointed to Sakura. "Fight with me, I'm bored." Sakura shook and nodded, to scared to say no.

As Sakura and Kris fought, Kakashi watched in amazement as Kris, who wasn't using chakra was easily beating Sakura, who was trying everything she could to beat her, but her strength didn't help her here.

_'It must be because Sakura is tired from training and has little chakra.'_ Kakashi thought, there was no way that a ninja that only trained for two years was better than one who had trained for almost her whole life.

Riri sighed."I already figured that." She muttered, dismissing the subject. Kakashi glanced over to her, not believing what he had heard. She knew she was this strong?

"What?" He asked, interested.

"Well, we have been under the training of Jiraiya for two years. Don't you think we would have at least a little more tricks up our sleeves? Even Naruto can't do some of the things we can." She looked over to Kakashi. "I know you might be thinking that we are just better when she is weak, no, not really." With the Riri stood up and jogged over to the two girls brawling. She grabbed Kris's arm, to prevent a punch and shooed Sakura away. "And... you're done." She teased. Kris pouted but went sat next to Naruto.

"What up, neon?" She asked rudely. Naruto frowned, and didn't respond. Kris shrugged, "Oh well. I don't care if you tell me or not. It's not like I really care."_ 'You attack my Nazi, my miser, my shark, my Leader and your best friend kills Crissi's lover'_ "Why are you so quiet?" Kris scooted closer to him and his frown deepened, while Kris's eyes softened and she slung an arm around Naruto's shoulders. "Little bro tongue tied?"

"Why did you go berserk when Shikamaru, Kakashi, and Sakura were in the room, what did they do?" Naruto looked into Kris's eyes, he was mad, they were his friends, people who had accepted him for who he was and she went on a rampage and tried to kill them, in utter defeat Kris sighed, looked around, no one was around but she knew someone would overhear.

"If I told you I would have to kill you, or you would kill me. But easily enough I hate the color pink, people who are usually late, and lazy motherf-" Riri slapped a hand over her mouth. Naruto jumped at the sudden appearance of his other sister.

"Sorry, I'm being disrespectful." Riri started. She removed her hand from Kris' mouth, wiped it on her shirt, and stuck it out. "I am Riri, nice to finally meet you. I really hope we get along. Kris is just, well hard to get along with and well, you should probably know by now." She cleared her throat. "As for me, get me ramen and I will love you forever!" Riri smiled brightly and went over to help to struggling Sakura.

"Don't help her!" Kris barked. Riri stuck up the finger and stuck a hand out to the pink haired  
one.

"It's okay I don't really want to kill you. You can't help what color you hair is." Riri said sweetly.

"Yes she can - ever heard of hair dye bitch?" Kris yelled. Riri snapped her head back.

"For the fucking love of God, Kris. Shut the hell up!" Riri exploded. Kris huffed a pout and flicked her sister off. Riri went back to helping Sakura up and let her drape an arm around her neck. When they passed Kris Sakura looked away and Riri spat, "Look, I got the nice genes and you got hot head. So shut up and fuck off when I feel like helping!" She chuckled a little and then walked back over to Kakashi and set Sakura next to him. "Well take care of her, I am hungry." With that she disappeared and then appeared again. "Opps, I forgot something." She  
walked briskly over to Naruto and grabbed his jacket. "Bye!" Then they both disappeared.

"FUCK YOU RIRI I WANT RAMEN TOO!" Kris exploded then realized that she was in the place with Kakashi and Sakura. "Shit." _'With no one here to stop me I might do something I'm going __to regret.'_ She thought.

**Kris POV-**

Well shit, I looked around and sighed, as I started to leave Kakashi cleared his throat.  
"How did you know that stuff about us if you have never met us before?" Kakashi asked suspicious, Sakura looked suspicious as well but I kept walking.  
I walked past them, "Answer the question!" Sakura demanded, grabbing my wrist. She obviously was desperate.  
I turned to them and said in a silent voice, "I am Naruto's sister, I try to protect my brother no matter what, the fact is that you beat him." I pointed to Sakura and she looked shocked, so shocked she let go of my hand. "And you do nothing about it," I pointed to Kakashi who only stared back. "You are threats that make me overprotective and slightly violent." I closed my eyes, rage filling me. "You have hurt my fox, do it again, "I opened my eyes, they burned with hate, Kakashi and Sakura stepped back, eyes wide. "And I'll kill you." I puffed away.

I ended up in a dark alley that was deserted and took in deep breaths, trying to calm down. They should be happy I controlled myself or else they would be mauled so bad no one would know who they were.  
"That was close call." I leaned up against the wall,putting a hand on my heart. I closed my eye and let myself slide down the wall into a ball. I needed to find out where I was, I must be in the Leaf village but where in the leaf village.

I got up and looked around, this seemed familiare but I couldn't place it. Only when I saw a very old looking sign and a fan like symbol I knew where I was. I was at the abandoned Uchiha place.

"Well, shit. I know nothing about this damned place." I said to myself walking in the direction that I saw lights coming from, not hard to do when all around you is dark.

"What are you doing here?" My eyes widened and I slowly turned my head to see a man standing behind me.

Back At the Training Field [As soon as Kris left]-

Sakura and Kakashi were still standing in the forest, staring at the place they had last seen Kris.

"Ka-Kakashi did you feel that?" Sakura asked him, he nodded. He had felt it when her chakra had flared and he had seen her eyes, the eyes of hatred.

"We may need to tell the Hokage about this." Kakashi muttered. He looked at Sakura and sighed. "What's wrong."

Sakura looked away and blushed, "Do you think if she knew that much, then she knew about... us?"

Kakashi thought about it and then walked over to Sakura, "Who would she tell anyway? What's wrong with 'us'?"

Sakura didn't get a chance to answer as Kakashi kissed her fully on the lips, his arms snaking around her waist, her hands going through his hair. When they pulled away they were breathing heavily and stared into each others eyes.

Sakura smiled and then planted a quick kiss on Kakashi's nose then hugged him, "Nothing is wrong with 'us'. Everything is right." She left go and Kakashi pulled his mask back up. "Now lets go eat with Naruto and Riri! I think I know where they are." Sakura pulled Kakashi through the forest and all the way to the shop, and when Naruto asked why she was holding Kakashi's hand she bluntly stated. "So sensi isn't late to eat."  
Riri only smirked, she looked evil when she did, but she stayed quiet._ 'Nene, so they're dating.'_ Riri thought._ 'Nene, anything more than kiss, that I find out about, and I will skin her skinny ass.'_

* * *

**Abandoned Uchiha Place-**

"Minato's daughter, hmm I thought we got rid of you." Danzo sniffed. "Who brought you back?"  
I smirked, and turned to face him, my hands on my hip. "What's an old man like you doing out here? Remembering on how you sent Itachi to kill all of his family? You sick-" I was cut off when Danzo was all of a sudden in front of me, kunai in hand pointed at my neck.

He glared at me, "How do you know of this, girl?" He pressed the kunai threateningly close to my neck, I only rolled my eyes.  
"Now why would I tell you?" I looked past him at a black silhouette of a person turning and going into an alley. I looked back at him. "You suck at being a ninja," I appeared behind him. "Genjutsu is my worst skill." He spun around to hit me but I was already in the alley that other person had walked into.  
Danzo didn't even bother following me, he knew I had to be alive for a little longer, He didn't know why someone brought us back. Something must happen before I die.  
I followed the figure to the edge of the Uchiha place before I called out. "Sasuke! Wait!" The figure turned and in the dim moonlight I saw Itachi's younger brother. I smiled and glomped him. "Your okay!"

Sasuke tried to pry me off but it didn't work, "Who are you and why won't you get off of me?"

I looked him in the eye, "I'm Naruto's second eldest sister."

Sasuke glared at me, not convinced. "Your lying, Naruto has no family."

I shook my head, "No I am in fact his sister, we were separated when our parents died." He was still glaring at me. I sighed, "I won't get off of you until you promise to pass a message to Orochimaru, tell him that we are here and to go to the bridge with Kabuto when he meets Sasori." I smiled then got off of Sasuke.

"And what if I don't tell Orochimaru this?"

"Then you will die a horrible death before you get to avenge your clan." I said simply shrugging.

He glared at me. "What?" I asked.

"Hn." He scoffed. He then burst into a lot of snakes and lamely slithered away.

"How lame..." I commented, starting to walk away from the Uchiha Manor and towards the shiny lights. "Hmm, shiny." I said to myself. Now where was Naruto's apartment again?

* * *

**Back At Naruto's Apartment -**

"What do you mean she's not here?" Crissi exploded at Naruto and Riri. They were supposed to have had Kris with them.

"As in for not within this house.." Riri stated blankly. Surprisingly Naruto's house had another bedroom and Riri had talked Tsunade into buying a extra large king bed for the three sisters to share. Crissi growled as Riri and Naruto unpacked everything.

"For all you know she could kill someone Riri! God... I'm going to go look for her." Riri's head snapped up.

"Uh-uh, no way! It's dark and your men-" Riri cut herself off with a gasp. Crissi went wide-eyed.

"I'm what?" Riri gulped "Come on Nichole, say it!" Crissi started shaking Riri's shoulders. Naruto backed away silently.

"..mentally unstable.." Riri squeaked out. Crissi dropped the brunette to the ground and ran out of the house, passing Kris on her way out the door.

"What happened!" Kris boomed the moment she passed the threshold of the house.

"Crissi... exploded?" Naruto answered unsurely.

* * *

**Crissi POV**  
I skidded to a halt, staring up at the hokage mountain. A quick hand sign and I sat on top of the third's rock head. I gazed at the moon and then just let loose. I sobbed and slammed my fist on the rock, making large cracks.

Ever since the Akatsuki left I wasn't stable. Hell, Kris had me hospitalized for a week because she thought I was suicidal.

My tears became dry and my thoughts ran a marathon and I sat there.

I truthfully wished I had never come, then I could have convinced myself that it was a dream.

"I want my teddy-shark" I whimpered, wanting the brother-like Kisame. "I miss my kittens.."  
I didn't notice Riri standing next to me.

"I'm sorry Crissi." I closed my eyes at the three words. "I truly am.. I didn't mean it."

"You may not have meant it, but it's sure as hell the truth." I huffed. "Just.. Go home Riri. I need to be alone- here," I tossed a scroll to her, my ninja bags and senbon hidden in my gloves. "I can't hurt myself. Leave me please." And that's what Riri did. It started raining and I looked up at the sky.

"I miss you too Nagato..." I sat there for what seemed like hours, letting myself get drenched in the never ending downpour. I didn't get why I was the only one that got mental when they left. It just wasn't fair. Not fair at all.

Soon Kris was standing next to me, "You want to die of illness or see your snaky-poo?" She asked, the way she said it made me chuckle a little bit.

I looked at her, "While you guys get with Sasori, he can lead you to the Akatsuki, yes I miss them but... Orochimaru isn't going to be there." I looked down, it wasn't fair! I didn't want to leave them, Kris I needed, she kept me most sane.** (A/N POD216: OMJ a Jugo, Sasuke moment!)**

Kris looked guilty then her face lit up, "Crissi, while you were always on Naruto me and Riri went to Shipuden," I frowned. But she continued. "Sasori ends up telling the group how to get information from Orochimaru. They meet up with Kabuto on the bridge and Orochimaru comes there. Naruto gets mad and transforms. Good thing is that Naruto isn't hurt, Sakura gets bitch slapped by one of Naruto's tails and you get to run off with Orochimaru."

"Sakura bitch slapped, now that is what I want to see!" I stood up. "How long is the transaction?"_ 'I might be able to have a nice couple of days with the Akatsuki before leaving to go to Orochimaru.'_ I thought happily, my bad mood gone knowing that I would see him again.

"Ten or eleven days I think, my memory isn't gold though..." Kris rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, I smiled.

"So that means I have eight or nine days tll I would see Orochimaru again!" My face had a grin that went from ear to ear.

"Sure you don't want to go for Hn-boy?"** -SLAP-** "It was just a suggestion!" Kris yelled rubbing her cheek, a red handprint shown brightly in the gloomy rain.

A vein throbbed on my head. "Well it was a pretty shitty suggestion!" I yelled but couldn't help but laugh at the name. "Hn-boy really?** -laugh-** Wow." I sighed and shook my head a grin still on my face.

"Well I'm just happy you're better!" Kris smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Ready to go back?" She asked.

I nodded and we made the handsigns then in a puff of smoke we were in Naruto's living room.

"Why the hell are you dripping wet?" Riri yelled, she would be the one cleaning the mess, but this was hardwood so it wouldn't matter.

"Because I can be" I retorted, then hugged the girl. "I'm sorry for flipping out." I muttered then pulled away. "But I get to see meh Snake soon!" I grinned then ran into the room, jumping onto the bed and passing out.

All I had to do now was meet Sai, save Gaara, hang with the kittys, and then go with Orochi!


	4. Chapter 4

**Britt: Hear me out! I haven't updated in a while, it's just... motivation went out the window. Truthfully, the only reason I'm continueing BWTM is because POD gave me a good swift verbal kick in the ass.**

**Enjoy meh Peeps!**

**Diclaimer: screwith youith. i no owny naruto. only crissi. POD owns kris and Twinkie owns Riri**

* * *

The Next Day

"I think you're insane... No I know you're insane.." Naruto said as he trekked down the street with his sisters. Riri had jumped onto Kris's back and made her give her a piggyback ride while Crissi was tossing a scroll up and down.

"Pfft totally..." Naruto saw Ino and Choji and started talking with them. Kris dropped Riri and grinned at Crissi, Riri stood and dusted her butt off.

"Uh, Ouch." She glared at Kris then looked at where they were pointing. "Oh, Mr. Emotionless is here.."

"Oh me goishhh!" Kris squealed and glomped Chouji. "De cutest person EVAAA!" Kris exploded, she kissed his cheek, hugged him, played with his face and just swooned over him. She smiled sweetly at him and he was blushing so hard his face was like a fire truck! Kris kissed him on the forehead then ran over to Sai who was getting the same treatment from Crissi, she had the creepiest taste in men all pale with black hair and talking issues.

While passing Ino Kris waved and said, "Bye whore, Bye cutie!" She blew a kiss to Choji and he fainted, not used to being swooned over by anyone, while Ino scowled and was held back by Naruto, who gave me a look. Kris just giggled and glomped Sai to the ground.

"Aww what a waste!" She looked at Sai who just about had a bloody nose sadly Kris had tripped and had somehow landed so awkwardly on Sai. His face was in her chest, she laughed. "HAHAHA! Never mind, totally worth it!"

Crissi gave Kris a look, "Well if I had known that all it took to get an emotion from him was to be a whore I would have volunteered you to do it!" Crissi snapped.

Kris smirked, "I bet Ino would've loved to have done it, wouldn't ya?" Kris winked at Ino and she went into yet another fit of rage. She almost got away from Naruto but Choji woke up and calmed her down. I swear that boy needs more credit he is badass! And adorable!

Riri walked over to Ino and put a hand on Ino's shoulder. "She can be a real bitch, but I love her." She shrugged simply and smiled.

"Yeah, well she needs to learn some manners." Ino spat. Riri shook her head.

"You don't know her like I do." They looked over at Kris swooning over Sai and chuckled a little. "She can also be really sweet, loving, caring and a really good friend." Kris stopped what she was doing, and glared at the pair.

"Why the hell are you talking about me like that when I am right here? You shouldn't about somebody when they are in range of hearing. God, Riri, you could have at least whispered." Everyone looked at Kris like she was stupid. She rolled her eyes at all of the stares.

Riri leaned in and whispered in Ino's ear, "Like I said, she can be a bitch." Kris hopped off of Sai and punched the air.

"Finally a compliment!" She exploded, glomping Riri.

"Wah!" Riri huffed, as she crashed into the ground. "NO NOT ON THE LIPS!" She screamed pushing away Kris' face. Everyone gave her a puzzled look, well everyone but Crissi who piled on Kris.

"I will give you a kiss!" She announced happily. Kris' head snapped up.

"No, I won't let you kill my sexyness! Need to make out with a brunett! Not a redhead. For the love of Jashin, bitch, get it right." Crissi nodded slowly. Riri backed away behind Ino.

"I fucking reject." She said sternly.

Kris gaped and hung her head, "Rejected." She whispered. Crissi and Riri laughed at her words.

"Um guys what just happened?" Chouji asked rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Riri's eye lite up.

"Chouji!" She exclaimed happily, getting up.

"Um, what?" He asked slowly. Riri hugged him.

"Screw the haters!" She kissed his cheek and his face went red again. "Hey, don't blush, and get used to it, because I will be doing it often." She gave a wink and released him from his hug. Ino looked jealous. "Want to kiss him as well? Go ahead." She shook her head and stormed off. "What crawled up her ass and died?"

"I know." Kris said perv-isly. Riri thought about it.

"Oh haha, pervert. I highly doubt with her attitude she will get much ass anyway." Riri scoffed and Kris looked up and furrowed her brows.

"Chouji, what color is your hair?" She asked skeptically. Riri's eyes widened.

"Fuck off Kris!" She snapped. Kris smirked.

"Really?" Kris asked pointing to herself.

"Yes." She looked Kris up and down and shook her she disappeared with a puff of smoke. Kris growled.

"Why the hell did the bastard teach us that?" She snapped, looking back to see that everyone else was gone. "Fuck!" She yelled stomping her foot. She stomped off towards... somewhere, muttering cuss words. Chouji just stood there not really sure what had happened.

Riri's POV-

I sighed. Where to go, where to go, where to go... I knew I was nearing Ichiraku ramen. I smiled a little, and started to jog, weaving in and out of people's way. When it came into sight I smiled brightly and kept up my pace 'cause no matter how happy I am, I can be really lazy. Heh, I am never like that around Kris.

I pushed aside the curtain thing and sat down next to a boy in a bright orange jumpsuit. "So, did you miss me?" I asked casually, turning towards him. I looked at him up and down. "Well?" He chuckled nervously.

"So, young lady what can I get for ya?" The cook asked. I pointed to Naruto.

"I would like whatever he is having please." I said sweetly. "You have to pay." Naruto whined a little.

"Really?" He whined, looking over at me.

"Yeah, I don't have any money, Jiraiya took it all for his research." I stressed. He sighed and took out his little frog pouch that held his money. "I promise I will pay you back as soon as I get a job!" I said with a smile. He gave me a sour look.

"Whatever." He muttered. I wiped the smile off of my face and gibbs slapped him.

"Don't 'whatever' me. I am your sister!" I scolded. his sour look deepened.

"If you are then how do you have black hair?" He asked skeptically.

"It's brown, just very dark brown." I protested,petting my hair down. "And you should have learned that in school."

"Why would I have learned about hair color in ninja school?" He asked confused.

"Because it is important. Just like doing your math homework, or reading, both can change your life forever!" I exclaimed happily digging into the ramen. Naruto huffed.

"Yeah right becoming Hokage is what really matters!" The cook smiled and so did I. "I am going to be the Hokage someday, believe it!" He exclaimed. I smirked.

"nice to know you have a dream." I cleared my throat. "I have a dream..." Naruto looked at me, waiting for me to continue, but I just sighed and let my elbow support my head. "I can't remember the rest."

"HUH? How can you not remember your dream?" I shrugged.

"I wasn't talking about me. I was trying to recite a speech, but I can't remember the words... as for my dream. It is to have two kids, both female, and to be married to a man with blue hair. And the thing is, is I like older men. I think we all do..." I thought it over. "Yeah, I know Kris loves older men and well so does Crissi, but I get a prize because mine has blue hair!" I did my little lame happy dance.

"Blue hair? Why blue hair?"

"Because it is sexy!" I retorted. "Though, I could be the only one attracted to it. I don't know I don't think so." I smiled. "You just have met one... weird one, the others are much worse. Enjoy." I smiled and dug into my ramen, that was still, surprisingly hot.

Crissi's POV-

I smiled as I walked with Sai.

Okay.. maybe not walked...

...and not with per-say...

I peeked around the corner and saw him sitting down on the ground with his sketchbook in hand, a brush in the other.

Yeah, I was stalking Danzo's little pawn. Don't judge!

I took a deep breath and walked over to the boy then sat down next to him.

"What are you doing here..." He looked at me when he trailed off.

"..Crissi, my name's Crissi. Smart one..." I rolled my eyes then looked at his barely-worked on painting then the scenery in front of us. "Name it, the painting I mean." He blinked.

"I don't name them." I huffed.

"Well you should. Hmm here, I got an idea." I took out a scroll from my ninja bag and with a few hand signs my sketchbook, charcoal, and pencils laid on my lap. "I'll show you my drawings." I scooted closer and opened the book to my favorite drawing, then paused.

"I draw like shit so don't dis it." I then showed him the picture that I drew of my road, a dirt road that curved a bit, and tons of trees surrounding it. I drew it in mono-color, but made the trees white, the road black, and the sky a blue-grey.

"That's.. nice." Sai struggled with words. I shrugged then pointed to the top of the picture where in my tiny chicken scratch it said 'A Darkened Path'.

"Crap title, crappy picture, but still a title. Name yours something that describes it either bluntly or with an underlying meaning." I put the things away and stood up.

"And listen Ink-Boy. I'm going to be your friend, like it or not. And when you decide to give that little envelope to Orochimaru, you're taking me with you." I walked away and saw Kakashi and Sakura on the street, talking.

"Yola lovebirds." I salute-waved them. Sakura went the color of her hair as Kakashi freezed for a second. "..You seriously thought that I wouldn't figure it out? Hell, Riri probably went 'Nenenene' in her head the second she saw you two together!"

Kakashi clear his throat then told me that there was a meeting at the Hokage's, so I went ahead of them so leave them to, hopefully, not do the inexplicit.

I mean damn Kakashi, wait till she's legal for that!

Kris POV-

When I finally got to Naruto's house to see that no one else was there. "Great, everyone else is out having fun with someone else while I'm al-" My rant was cut short when there was a knock at the door.

I walked over to the door and opened it, "Hinata!" My eyes lit up, I loved her she was the only girl in the anime that I liked. Any original girl that is.

"U-um, i-is Naruto h-here?" She asked shyly. I only smirked and pulled her in Naruto's house.

I answered, "No, but you can wait for him with me if you like." She stammered a bit.

"No th-th-thank you." She said walking briskly out of the door. I rolled my eyes. Whatever. Well there goes my fun... I huffed and flopped on the couch.

"What to do, what to do..." I muttered furrowing my brows, I then jumped up from the couch and sprinted out the door, only to come back to close and lock the door then take off again to the Hokage's office and just as I suspected. "Why the hell was I left out?" I barked.

Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Crissi, Riri, and Tsunade all turned to look at me, Crissi smirked and announced, "Because we knew you would act thik this."

I glared and walked up next to Riri, "Fill me in on the details. Now." Riri gulped and told me what I already knew, I smiled. "So we get to go see the Sand village? Sounds like fun."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes but still dismissed us to get ready, we had thirty minutes to get everything and leave for the mission. Me, Crissi, and Riri hurried to get ready, we had to pack everything we owned into our ninja bag, we went out and bought scrolls and sealed the stuff in the scrolls.

"Who would've thought that with all the stuff you put in there the heavier it gets?" Riri asked holding her scroll with two hands. "Mine weighs like 20 lbs."

I turned to her, "Then maybe you should've brought less stuff to begin with!" I snapped, I had brought light things to avoid this problem.

Crissi smiled and turned to both of us. "At least we get to see our kitties." I nodded while Riri got hearts in her eyes.

"Kisame..." Crissi and I anime-fell. Crissi stumbled back into a standing position and put her arms up, as if awaiting a punch.

"You know.. I shared a bed with Kisame- DON'T KILL ME! HE'S LIKE A LOVABLE OLDER BROTHER THAT IS A TEDDY-BEAR AND- OMIJASHIN PUT YOUR SCYTHE AWAY!"

Crissi hid behind me and latched onto my back, I stared wide-eyed as Riri got black flames in her eyes and raised her single-bladed, purple handle, scythe above her head.

"You did what?" Riri asked in a deadly low voice. I cleared my throat, unlatched Crissi from my back and set her in front of me.

"Nothing." Crissi squeaked. Riri smiled and her scythe poofed away.

"Oh, good I thought you had done something with Kisame. I almost killed you." She punched Crissi in the arm. "Speak up, that could have been..." Riri winked and continued on ahead.

"Why are we friends again? Please tell me." Crissi groaned. I rolled my eyes.

"'Cause we have been together for a while." I stated boredly. Crissi nodded, and shook what had just happened off, then we began to walk, trailing behind Riri.

"You know what I just noticed," Crissi started. I looked at her, expecting her to go on. "We don't even know that much about Riri..." She stated. I nodded.

"Yeah, so. That doesn't mean we aren't all friends." I said tiredly.

"You tired?" She asked. I shook, my head.

"No, just want to get on with the mission. I need to see them again, though I don't show it I miss them terribly and don't be surprised if I start crying when we see Sasori." I stated calmly then shrugged and jogged to meet up with Riri, Crissi following a couple feet behind me.

"I might cry too." Crissi said thoughtfully then turned to me with a 'WTF' face. "How the hell does no one here hear us talking about our love for criminals?" Crissi looked around. "This is blowing my mind, no wonder the Leaf is easily attacked, they don't hear JACK!"

"Yeah they're not the best of ninjas but oh well. Least we're not going to jail." I smiled brightly at Crissi, excitement filling me to the brim, too much for me to hold in my smile.

Riri turned around, "What are you two smiling about?" She asked as soon as we reached the group we were to go with.

"Tell ya later." I whispered in her ear then turned to the group. "Everyone ready?" They all nodded and we ninja ran to the closest tree and started ninja hopping through the trees.

All four of us siblings were fueled by something different, Riri was excited to meet the Akatsuki, I was excited to see Tobi again, Crissi was excited about seeing Orochimaru soon, and Naruto was just worried about how he would never get there in time, which he was right about.

"Guys! Slow down!" Sakura yelled. I glanced back.

"Hurry up! We cover more ground at this pace!" I yelled, I was ticked, nothing stood in front of me and my family, nothing.

"Yeah, the Kazekage is in need, we need to get there fast!" Crissi yelled, obviously showing her fangirlism by laughing like Orochimaru. "Kukukuku- SLAP -Ouchies Kris dat hurts!" Crissi complained, rubbing the red handprint on her face.

"Don't laugh like that, did you take your pill today?" I winked at her to show that it was to cover up the suspicious laugh. She nodded and didn't laugh like that, instead she started to be stupid.

"Bwahahahahahaha! I can't wait until I see the Sand Village! I was told by some random person that Gaara is hot!" SLAP "Why..." Crissi whined, rubbing her even brighter handprint.

"Would you quit saying stupid shit and answer my fucking question?" A vein on my head throbbed.

"Yes, Kris-chan, I took my medicine like a good girl!" SLAP "Would you stop slapping me?" Crissi yelled, glaring at me.

"Would you quit acting stupid?" I retorted, glaring at her. Sparks came from our glares because they were so intense.

"I'm not acting stupid. I'm acting like hyper version of my usual self!" Crissi stated, putting a hand to her heart and little stars went in her eyes and a happy grin on her face. I laughed when she ran into a tree because of lost focus.

I pushed backwards off my branch and caught Crissi while she fell. I sighed, "How many pills did you take?" She held up two fingers. I shook my head and sighed again. "You're an idiot."

"A fun idjit?" Crissi asked and I smiled.

"Yes a fun idjit." I assured her then set her down, considering that we were far ahead of the group because they were lazy ninjas compared to us. I decided to make plans. "We need to work on strategies to save Sasori."

Crissi nodded, "I don't know how he dies though..." I told her how he dies, who kills him, and basically how the fight goes. "Okay well I think we could-"

"Guys!" Naruto yelled then hopped down next to us and put his hands on his knees, panting. "You went too fast! We couldn't keep up." He looked up at us, "How do you guys do all that without breaking a sweat?"

I laughed, "Naruto we have been resting for a while, we were waiting for you guys." I smiled and he nodded in understanding.

"But that doesn't explain how you go faster then Kakashi..." Naruto trailed off.

Me and Crissi shrugged, "You guys are just really slow." Was all Crissi said before we sat down leaning up against a tree, Naruto sitting in the middle of us.

I grabbed Naruto's hand and he gave me a 'what-are-you-doing' look, I smiled. "You should trust your sisters more..." I looked sadly at him. There is only a couple more days before us girls must belong to the Akatsuki again. I put my head on his shoulder and whispered. "Don't hate me... or Crissi... or Riri. For our decision."

"What decision?" Naruto asked, giving my hand a squeeze. "Kris-"

"You'll find out when the time comes." I muttered into his shoulder, Crissi grabbed his other had and Naruto looked at her.

"Don't worry about it, just promise not... not to hate us when you go back to the village." Crissi sounded sad, I couldn't see her face.

"Won't you be coming back as well? So why would I hate you?" Naruto laughed a nervous laugh, "Guys what happens, why would I hate you? You will be coming back to the village, right?" Naruto looked back and forth from us. "Why do you guys look so sad?"

We didn't answer him and he tightened his grip on our hands, "I see, you won't be coming back with me. But who will you go with? Did you make plans with a farmer to get money and you guys have to go there right after the mission? Riri said when she got a job she would pay me back. Yeah that must be it..."

We let him ramble on, not having the heart to tell him that we were really going into a group of S-ranked criminals because they were my friends. That we would be saving criminals from dying and adding to the chance that the Leaf Village will be obliterated. No, we couldn't say that, not to him. Not when he worked so hard for that Village to respect him. I will not be the reason that he is shunned again because of his family's choices.

We all fell asleep like this, me and Crissi holding hands with Naruto, our heads on his shoulder. Naruto's head on Crissi's because she started crying. All in all a stupid move on our parts, a complete and total stupid move.

Third Person-

"What idiots." Riri commented when she jumped down from the tree, yes it was cute to see them curled us around naruto, but sleeping in the forest with no look out? WHAT IDIOTS!

"Yeah not a bright move," Sakura commented then was sprawled on her back kunai at her throat. "WHAT THE HELL?" She yelled and Kris got up, putting her kunai away.

"Sorry, light sleeper." Kris apologized and helped Sakura up then went back over to Naruto and curled back up next to him and fell back asleep.

"More like sleep walker." Riri commented, while Kakashi was asking Sakura if she was okay. "How cute.." Riri smiled at Sakura, her cheeks as red as Crissi's hair. Riri yawned then curled up next to her siblings feet. "Night, no 'fun time' Kakashi wait till she's legal." After a couple of moments Riri fell asleep while Kakashi only shrugged.

"Your not my parent." He leaned down and kissed Sakura and then hopped in the tree. "Go to sleep, I'll wake Kris for next shift later." Sakura nodded and laid down on the tree opposite of where the Uzumaki's where.

True to his word, about two hours later Kakashi jumped down and woke Kris up. "Time for you to scout." Kris nodded and stretched then stood up and hopped in the scouting tree.

"Well how boring." Kris stated staring at the camp below her. Riri was curled up at the feet of Naruto and Crissi who were cuddling. "How creepy..." Kris commented, raising an eyebrow at the trio but shrugged it off and looked over at Sakura and Kakashi holding hands, heads leaning on each other. "Now that is just disturbing, don't you think so too, Zetsu."

"How could you tell it was me?" Zetsu asked half of him coming out of the tree next to Kris.

"Who else hides in trees?" Kris looked at him. "No hug or greetings? We haven't seen each other in two years!" Kris pouted, crossing her arms.

"Why are you here- hey be nice! She shouldn't be in this world! True but we haven't seen her in so long, be nice! Who the new girl? New girl, oh yeah who is she?" Zetsu looked at Kris and Kris rolled her eyes and patted Zetsu's head and earned a glare from him. "Don't pat my head! I deserve a hug! Touch me again and I'll eat you."

"Well unless I get a hug I'm not telling you anything." Kris smirked as Zetsu gave her a hug and she hugged him back, but yelped when black Zetsu nibbled on her ear."Down plant man! But at least I got a hug!" Kris did a victory dance only to get slapped in the back of the head by black Zetsu.

"Tell us." He demanded and Kris smiled at him.

"The newcomer is Riri, warn Sharkey that she thinks blue hair is sexy, and not just that. She will like maul him with." SHe leaned over and whispered things in Zetsu's ear. His eyes widened a bit, but he said nothing. Kris sighed and thought about something. "Can you inform Pain that we are in this world and will meet up with Sasori and Deidara when they are done sealing Gaara?" Zetsu nodded and looked down at the group below.

"Why are they curled up next to the Kyuubi?" Zetsu asked and turned back to Kris. Kris looked at Zetsu with sad eyes.

"He's our little brother..." Zetsu slowly nodded kind of confused on how that happened and said goodbye before sinking back into the tree.

Kris hopped down next to Crissi and woke her up. "Time for your shift sis." Kris curled up next to Naruto and fell asleep. Crissi grumbled but also hopped up to the scouting tree and scouted till everyone woke up.

TIME SKIP-

We were now all waiting in the cave as the sandstorm was going on, the four Uzumaki siblings all pacing and muttering something under their breaths.

"Wow, they are all so much alike, it's awkward." Kakashi commented while watching the four pace and glance at the exit.

"Well they're not all like Naruto." Sakura stated glaring at Kris who just flicked her off.

"Bitch not now, I'm thinking and you're breaking my concentration!" Kris snapped sending a death glare at Sakura who started shaking and was calmed down by Kakashi. Kris almost started to puke. "Don't do that while we are all in here, go to the back of the cave or something, pedophile." Kris muttered the last word under her breath.

Riri's POV-

I glanced over at Sakura and Kakashi. Really right behind Naruto's back they are dating? No really, every time Naruto turns his back they way they look at each other is just revolting. Sadly I used to like the silver headed man, but that was a long time ago. I shook my head at the two. Sakura noticed my head movement and glanced over at me a moment. I repeatedly slammed my fist into my other palm, and nodding my head up at Naruto meaning 'If he finds out, I will beat you up.' She gave me a look and rolled her eyes, while I glared at the response, growling a bit. She must have heard me growl and looked over at me again. With this chance I mouthed 'You're super strength won't help in our battle.' She rolled her eyes again, believing she was safe with the silver haired pedophile. I shook my head and muttered under my breath. "Manwhore." Kakashi looked at me, and twitched. I gave him a look that, to me, signaled that I flicked him off. It made me feel better. Plus I knew I didn't have to worry about Sakura and Kakashi because if Kris ever found out that Naruto found out and was heartbroken, then she would beat Sakura up, not even if Naruto wanted her to be happy, not caring that how he felt didn't mean anything to her. That wouldn't fly by his sisters. We may have never really liked him, but older sisters never like their younger, hyper brothers, that was just a fact for almost everyone. I looked at Naruto pacing around, feeling a heaviness in my heart that he was not going to make it in time because of Itachi-

"Oh my God." My eyes went wide and I stopped my pacing to grab Kris by the arm, Kris snapped out of it and looked at me. I whispered,"We meet Weasel-kun before Puppet and Sexy Bomber!" Kris gagged then composed herself.

Kris nodded, "Yeah, last night I talked to Cannibal. He said he would tell God that we were here and he gave me a hug!" She whispered back I stared at her in disbelief. At the mention of her beloved friends Crissi was over in an instant.

"You talked to Cannibal and didn't tell me?" Crissi slapped Kris and glared at her. "Don't leave me out!" She yelled.

"SHHH- Well shit, you noisy pricks!" Kris glared at Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi, who had all surrounded them, listening. Naruto was the only one who had the decency to blush.

Kakashi coughed then spoke up, bringing everyone to the middle of the large cave.

"Okay, since I have no clue about your fighting styles," He motioned the Kris, Crissi and Riri.

"I want you to spar with us."

"I call Pinky!" Kris called, thrusting a hand in the air.

"Damnit.." Crissi and I chorused. Crissi opened her mouth but was cut off by me.

"I call little bro!" Crissi growled

"And I'm stuck with Hatake... jashin-damnit.."

"Ha ha, bitches I win!' Kris stated with glee.

Kris's Fight POV

I laughed at the expression Sakura was giving me. As I laughed a little like Hidan while cracking my knuckles. "Let's begin." Sakura put on a determined look that made me laugh again, I would soo wipe the floor with her face.

Sakura put chakra in her hand and charged at me I easily dodged and hit her in the back of the neck, she dropped to my feet, out like a log.

I put on a face of full confusion, this was all I got from the one who trained under the Hokage? What the fucking hell? This has to be a joke. I looked around the cave then kicked Sakura, she rolled over and mumbled something.

"Well I'm done." I stepped over Sakura and sat down next to a stunned Naruto and a smirking Crissi. "What a waste of time..." I muttered.

"Riri its your turn." Crissi stated while I fumed over how I didn't get much fun, I had planned on playing with her a bit but she just fails. Stupid wannabe ninja, seeming so great but lets a ninja who has been training for two years, beat her. I clicked my and shook my head, this is why I hate the Leaf, they have way too many overconfident ninjas. I shook my head again and started to watch Riri's fight. Hopefully it would be better than mine.

Riri's Fight POV

I sighed and and pushed off of the wall, grabbing Naruto by the ear and dragging him away from Sakura. I walked a couple of feet and then let him go, to have him face plant in the dirt.

"Come on stand up, I want to get this over with." He nodded slowly.

"Alright." He stood and jumped back a bit making shadow clones, one on each side of him.

Both of them sprinted at me, one threw a punch at my face and I caught it, kick the clone in the stomach, then swiftly kicked the other one in the gut. Both went 'POOF'. I looked around then jumped up, coming back down fast, kicking another shadow clone in the head. After that they all came at me as he made more and more, but I just kept up my never ending field of punches, and kicks and they were thinned out pretty quick.

I had cast a water ninjutsu on myself so when I would connect, water would leach on to Naruto and freeze.

I breathed in a big sigh and focused, quickly sticking my hands in the air and having my scythe appear in them. I smiled at the familiar weight of my precious baby. I smirked evilly and gracefully swung around on a circle, hitting a bunch of shadow clones. All of them puffing away. I sighed again and just kept hacking at the clones around me.

"What, are we going to do this the whole time?" I asked kicking one from behind me. I cleared my throat and smirked. Just a split second later I roundhouse kicked the real Naruto.

"Itai!" He smashed into the cave wall. I spun my scythe and bowed.

"K.O.!" Crissi shouted. I smiled and hopped up and down. I knew that if we had been really fighting I wouldn't stand a chance against him nine tails. I bowed and and swung my scythe to point and Crissi.

"You're next!" I announced, having my scythe disappear in a cloud of smoke. I jogged over to Naruto and helped him stand up right. We looked over to Crissi and hurried over with the others.

Naruto sat next to the still K. Sakura and I sat down next to Kris who still had a deadly aura of hate radiating off of her. I ignored that and watched intently as Crissi and Kakashi got ready.


	5. Chapter 5

Crissi's Fight POV

I got up from my position on the ground and groaned as if it was a great feat.

"Do I have to mommy?"

"Yeah, you do. And I'm not your figgen mother." Kris said and pushed me towards Kakashi.

"No fair.. Riri got to fight a gennin, Kris got to fight a jashin damned med-nin chuunin, and I have to fight an ex-anbu Jonin.. lovely.." Kakashi got out his book, not caring at all.

"You going to start anytime soon?" A vein popped in my head.

"Oi! You're going to get it now asshole!" I growled and got out a scroll. I threw it up into the air and silver smoke emitted from it. When the smoke cleared a pitch black Naginata was in my right hand and rest on my shoulders, the blade had gold linings with a dragon going down the pole. I paused.

"Uhm... Kris... What's my chakra nature again?"

"HOW THE HELL DON'T YOU KNOW YOUR OWN CHAKRA NATURE?" I held my ears as everyone yelled at me.

"Cause I don't really find that important..." I mumbled then turned to face Kakashi.

"Okay!" I shouted dramatically. "Let's just assume my element is air!" Kris face-palmed

"Uhm. Rasengan?" I shouted. Nothing. "...okay... uhm.."

"Your element is fire dumbass."

"Thank you Kris!" I grinned and turned back to Kakashi. I got in a fighting stance and tilted my head at him. "I'm the best in Taijutsu and okay in Genjutsu, but I can only do a few Ninjutsu." I swung my Nagata and charged at Kakashi.

Kris and Riri watched, bored. "So, when is she going to stop toying with him?"

Kris shrugged and leaned back. "I hope that the sandstorm ends soon though. I wanna see Chucky and Nazi."

"Ditto." Kris's eyes widened as my Nagata planted itself into the ground near her head.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Sorry!" I yelled as I threw fireballs at Kakashi.

"Hurry up!" I pouted at Riri

"But I'm having fun!" She glared at me. "Fii~ine! Eternal Embers Technique!" My hair blew back as the genjutsu hit Kakashi head on.

I calmly walked back to Kris and Riri, not phased by Kakashi's screams of pain. I released him from the genjutsu soon after though. See, I had used the technique a little different for Kakashi...

Sakura knelt down besides Kakashi and heard him faintly whisper. "My Icha Icha..." Then get punched in his face.

* * *

Akatsuki Katz BWTM

Hello Suna!

* * *

"We're here!" Naruto shouted with a huge grin as we entered the gates. Riri groaned from her place on Kris's back. Crissi held on, being on Naruto's back.

"Onwards!" Crissi pointed forward and Naruto sped off. "Ho-ly -sh-it!" She shouted as he ran, being very bouncy. Kris grinned and walked, following the sand cloud that the two had left behind them.

Kris's smile turned into a smirked and she yelled. "NARUTO YOU NAUGHTY BOY! SHE'S YOUR SISTER!" Kris laughed at the look she got from Crissi and the dark red blush from Naruto, who slowed down.

Kakashi and Sakura were talking as they walked, about jashin knows what. Crissi was kinda bored...

Kris had already told her what was going to happen; Gaara was stolen by Deidara and Sasori, Shukaku was going to get extracted, and Chiyo would give her life for Gaara's. Riri rubbed her eyes.

She had gotten no sleep whatsoever last night. She had laid her sleeping bag between Naruto and Crissi.

Naruto couldn't stay still, so she got a foot in the face every few minutes or so, and Crissi wouldn't shut the hell up! She slept-talk all night! Though it was funny to see Sakura wake her up, she got pwned!

"So... girls I need to talk you alone..." Kris said quietly to the girls. They nodded sleepily and zombie walked over to them, Riri making light moans with every step. "How are we going to get away from them?" Both girls shook their head helplessly. A vein popped in Kris's head and she bitch slapped both of them in the head.

"Ahhhh- Oh..." Riri yelled holding her head and looked at me, seeming to be better. "I'm up, I'm up." She put her hands in front of her to signal surrender.

Crissi jolted and then slapped Kris back. "I was awake jackass!"

"Well now that you're up, I think that when we go against the Ita-sand man, that should alert them that we are close and let them know that we are here." Kris looked at them, Riri and Crissi nodded but Crissi also asked.

"Ita-sand man? What?" Crissi rose an eyebrow and Kris sighed.

"To stop the group from interfering with the extraction Itachi has one of his spies turn into a body replica of him to stall us. Itachi goes to our group, Kisame goes to Gai's." Kris explained, Crissi nodded then slapped herself.

"Man I really wanted to see my shark..." Crissi pouted. Kris and Riri laughed at her.

"You're lucky. I want to see his blue hair." She giggled lightly, earning a slap in the head from Kris. Crissi sighed and popped her back, then turn to them.

"So we're in what, like episode eleven in shippuden? Since in the anime it lasted about seven episodes."

"I thought you didn't watch shippuden Crissi." Riri said, confused. Crissi shrugged.

"Dude, I was up to date with the anime before we got the kittens. I've just been too frikken lazy to remember the shit."

"You little-" Kris whipped out Sledgy.

"AAAHHH! NARU-CHAN SAVE MEH!" Riri watched as the two ran, knocking people over left and right. When the sand settled down, there was a good dent in the ground where they had ran.

"Just follow the yellow brick road." Riri laughed as she followed the dent.

Riri ended up in the Suna hospital and walked into the room that Kankuro was in. She watched as Chiyo attacked Kakashi. Kris stood next to her, Sledgy now strapped to her back. Riri looked at Crissi, seeing a bump on the red-head's head.

"And that is Sasori's gramma." Kris introduced as Crissi came over

"Pretty bad-ass, eh?"

"Damn Canadians..." Crissi laughed at Kris's glare.

"Kris, be happy. Imagine having a nightmare of Orochimaru wearing plaid, driving a beat up truck, and sounding like a canadian. Me saying 'eh' isn't as bad as that smart one."

"..." Kris blinked then shuddered.

"...You have weird dreams Crissi." Riri said finally.

"Thank you." Crissi turned to watch Sakura extract the poison "The one thing she's good at..."

"True story." Riri and Kris chorused.

"Fuck this is need a wine glass and a suit..." Kris stated.

Riri turned to the conversing Chiyo and Naruto, both still in fighting stances.

"I haven't forgotten about what you did, I've waiting for this day White Fang!" Chiyo said to Kakashi.

"Nonono, you see.. I'm not-" Kakashi tried saying.

"That's enough talk!" just before Chiyo went to attack Ebizuo stopped her. Riri turned to Kris who was annoying Baki.

"Are we seeing Nazi soon or not?" She said impatiently.

"Soon." Was all Kris said. Crissi sighed and headed towards the door.

"I'm kinda bored... again.."

"You are an idiot." Kris deadpanned but waved the leaving Crissi off.

"SooOOoo Baki.." Baki groaned and hoped that the torture worthy of Ibiki Morino would be over soon.

* * *

Time Skip

Riri rolled her eyes as they kept going forward. Kris and Crissi had gotten into a conversation about what Meme face was better. She looked at their surroundings. In about five minutes they would see Itachi.

"I can't wait to see my weasel he is gonna get pwned for not really coming out here." Kris said in a low monotone, eyes filled with annoyance.

"What?" Crissi asked, not understanding how he would be there... but not really be there because someone else was him in disguise. Kris rolled her eyes.

"He is - no. You will see. I think my mouth is starting to hurt because of all of the times I have to repeat myself." She snapped. Riri shrugged.

"I get it, but I think it sucks 'cause..." She trailed off, most likely going somewhere perverted in her mind. Crissi pouted, but agree to do so. "Well anyway I think that we should split into groups. You and Kris, Sakura and Kakashi, me and Naruto. And then Lady Chiyo can be with Kakashi and... pinky." She stated. Kris smiled.

"Finally degrading the bitch, huh?" Kris praised. "Oh, I am so proud of you!" She cooed, slapping Riri in the back making her wince. "But I think the old lady's there so that those two keep on task and don't start some random fuck time..." Everyone ignored this comment.

"Well, think about what she is doing to Naruto. It is just all wrong." Riri hissed, glaring at Sakura, who was ignoring the whole group, considering they were so far ahead. Riri looked ahead. "Girls we are about to get into a clearing, and someone is there." She warned. Kris scoffed.

"I know who it is." She announced in a whispered. The other girls nodded. Luckily they were still really far ahead of the group. "I think he might let us pass." She mused.

* * *

Kris' POV-

When I jumped into the clearing I have never been so happy to see that face, it was of Itachi Uchiha. It looked so much like him that me and Crissi looked sadly at him, I'm guessing that with jutsu you also gain memories and feelings because Itachi's eyes widened when we stepped out, but went back to stoic when Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, and Lady Chiyo stepped out of forest.

"Itachi Uchiha." Kakashi said with hatred and I held back a glare, I had to make the transaction smooth when we got to Sasori, the real Akatsuki member we would be meeting. But also because Crissi wanted to meet Gaara. And well so did I. Riri looked stunned, not sure what to do. She jumped into my arm, causing me to look at her.

"What do we do?" She asked me. I clicked my tongue, and sighed.

"I have no idea!" I cheered, earning a punch from both girls. "Heh, look my nose is bleeding." I mused.

While everyone but us three girls started talking about their battle strategies in a small circle. Though they were loud enough for Itachi to hear as well so we felt apart of the group, well not really but it was funny to see them personally glare at the waiting Uchiha. But when the circle broke and Riri skidded next to Naruto, ready to defend him in case Itachi tried something to capture him. Crissi stood at the back of the group and I just turned around so that way I was at least facing him.

I winked at him and nodded, I think Itachi got the signal and the fight began!

* * *

Time Skip-

'Itachi' lay on the ground blood coming from his mouth and eyes closed.

"This is not Itachi, this is someone from my village..." Chiyo trailed off while we were staring at the body, I didn't recognize the body, but I did recognize the headband. It was the sand symbol.

I looked at her, "Nooo, it's Santa Claus." Crissi and Riri snickered while I gave her the 'are you serious' look.

Chiyo glared at me, "Kakashi you need to teach your pupils to respect their elders."

"He ain't teachin me shit, grandma." I retorted.

Chiyo was about to say something but Crissi interrupted. "FALCON PUNCH!" Crissi punched me so hard I sailed into the tree. I slammed into it, creating a crater and all the air was knocked out of me.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! THAT FUCKING HURT!" I yelled clutching my stomach, tyring to catch my breath, I was surprised I could even yell after that. I smirked, it reminded me when I had shot Hidan back in the other world.

Crissi shook her head, laughing. "Dude you should've seen your face!" She pointed at me. "That is the epicness of surprise, bitch. Feel it and gravel in its power!" Crissi thrust her hand into the air.

"You need to teach these girls not to fool around so much, Kakashi, I expect much from the Fangs son, so far I'm not impressed." Chiyo stated, watching us bicker.

Kakashi sighed, "I have only had them as students for about 6 or 7 days." He looked at Sakura who was glaring at the us. "Sakura calm down, they're just hyper."

"They are acting like idiots and giving you a bad reputation." The bitch growled, her glare hardening.

A vein popped in my head, "I'm sorry bitch can you say that louder I'm afraid it got caught in the wind." I called and the look on Sakura's - horror - face made us girls laugh so fucking hard!

* * *

Time Skip-

That's right, now we were standing right outside of that huge rock with the little seal. Sakura ran up and punched it, the rock shattered and I cried. "NOOOO! That poor rock! I hope you broke your wrist Pinky!" But I knew she didn't break her wrist, sadly. Gai's team had went off places.

We all ninja hopped into the cave and saw the heavenly sight of Deidara sitting on Gaara and Sasori in his creepy puppet. My heart flew as Cissi, Riri, and I all ran from the group and glomped them, - the voices of Kakashi, Chiyo, Naruto and Sakura all yelling for us "to get back it's dangerous", was drowned out by our happiness - . Well tried, Crissi pushed deidara off, and looked over Garra, while Sasori's puppet tail wrapped around me and held me in the air because I had tried to hug him, hopefully that was just a reflex, but I did start hugging his tail, fuck the poision, and Riri was sitting on Deidara's chest poking his face.

Everyone else was just staring wide eyed at the whole groups actions, all wondering why the Akatsuki were being so buddy-buddy. Sasori put Kis down and she hugged his puppet, "What the hell are you guys doing in this world, it's dangerous." Sasori scolded, only loud enough for us to hear though.

"Because we missed you Danna, and the rest of our family and I missed you so much that I was wanting to punch Nazi in the face again." I stated looking over at Deidara to see Riri hiss and pout, while Deidara's jaw dropped.

"What the hell did I do, un?" He sat up and Riri, fell into his lap. Riri giggled at his slight blush that you could only see if you were this close. "Uh... Crissi who is the new girl?" He looked down and narrowed his eyes, making Riri look away.

Crissi looked up from Gaara and smirked. "I hope you like reverse harems, that's Riri, she is with us and if you hurt her, I'll give you more Nazi abuse."

"That is what I give him! Fuck you Crissi don't take my gifts!" I finally let go of Sasori and walked over to Deidara and punched him in the face. "Happy birth-" I was shoved onto Deidara's and Riri's laps when Sasori used his tail on me. "What the fuck! Sasori what was that for!"

"If you were paying attention you would notice that they are fighting!" Sasori growled and only then did I remember, we weren't alone. Riri looked over at me then to Deidara and sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm German." She said sadly, nodding. "But I will try cause I think it is sexy to blow stuff up." Sasori scoffed, making her look to him. "You're just lame." I rose an eyebrow, and she looked at his face really hard as if trying to find something. "And ugly." Crissi sighed and whispered something in her ear, making Riri nod. "I know." That made Crissi frown, and me as well.

"Don't dis my sexy puppet over that wannabe girl." I scolded, sitting on Sasori's back, he growled and I looked down at him. "Growl all you fucking want, I haven't seen you for almost three years, bitch I'm gonna be clinging to you for about three days straight."

He sighed and I pictured him rubbing his temples inside of his puppet. "Just get ready to fight, brats." I smiled at the name and so did Crissi, but Riri frowned, not liking the nickname. I don't know why she never really liked Sasori. Though she held her tongue 'cause she doesn't want to get on his bad side. Good girl.

"So what do we do now, un?" Deidara asked. Aware that the battle plan was going to have to change now that they had us on their team.

* * *

Third Person-

Naruto glared at his this be what they had meant when they pleaded for him not to hate them, that they were leaving with criminals? How could they have betrayed them like that. Well Crissi didn't seem to be doing that bad since she was helping Gaara, but that doesn't change the fact that they were on their side, literally..

"Hey! What is your problem! Crissi leave Gaara alone! I got this! Believe it!" He made to charge but Kakashi stopped him.

"Don't Naruto. They want you to attack first so that way they have the advantage." He warned glaring at the trio that had left them. Kris noticed and flicked him off. Riri was beaming at the words that seemed to roll sexily off his tongue.** (A/N POD216: Riri, this is why we don't let you write anything from Kakashi...-_-')**

"So you are the Kyuubi. I didn't think you were going to be this easy to spot." Deidara teased, making Naruto even angrier. Riri pouted.

"Don't tease him. If anything- Fuck never mind." She shrugged. "Blame dad!" She yelled to Naruto, nodding fiercely and looked over to her knew group. "Sorry you don't know me, I am new." She said shyly earning quizzical stares from Kris and Crissi at the sudden change of voice.

"Dude..." They both said, looking appalled. Riri shrugged off their looks and looked back to the other group. She hopped and stuck out her hand to her side, to have her scythe poof into her hand. She grinned like a psycho, making everyone stare at her.

"Okay now she is finally getting into it." Crissi stated making Kris' head nod. The other Akatsuki men just ignored her, not finding the behavior that strange.

"Well, Crissi?" Kris's beloved bat popped into her arms and Crissi's Naginata in her own. "I think we have a right to help fight. I'll stay with Sasori."

"You brought that stupid bat with you? Well shit." Deidara stared at the bat. Then turned to Crissi. "I like your weapon it actually looks threatening." Crissi smirked.

"I'm going with you Deidara." Crissi nudged Deidara and he smirked.

"I'll go with Deidara and Crissi, right?" Riri gave Kris a quizzical look, and Kris nodded.

"Yeah, Naruto can be a hot-head." Kris glanced at Naruto and smirked. "In more than one way..." Kris got slapped by Sasori's tail in the back of the head with a loud clink. She whipped around to glare at him. "That better of been a reflex old man!"

Sasori scoffed, "Brat you need to pay attention and I didn't slap you, you must be getting old. They're attacking." Sasori was right, Naruto was making rasengan, Sakura was fixing her gloves, Chiyo was getting out her puppets, and Kakashi was pulling his sexy black mask over his sexy sharingan making Riri squealed and almost fell over.** (A/N POD216: Riri's doing)**

This earned stares from everyone as she kept on muttering "Sexy, ninja!" Under her breath.

"Noo! He is as ugly as Pinky." Kris said sarcastically rolling her eyes. Sakura glared and stepped closer to her man, as if saying 'my sexy, stay away!', only making Kris laugh at her actions. "So ugly has heard what I said?"

"He is too sexy for his shirt, someone call the police. Nenenenenene." Riri laughed. Earning more stares from everyone but Kris and Crissi who have heard her real laugh before. Yeah it's creepy, but they got over it fast enough.

"...Can we get on with this?" Deidara stared at Crissi in shock. She was twirling her Nagata, bored.

In the middle of a fight.

"...You're messed up, un."

"True dat." Crissi grinned like a maniac. "Kukukukukuuuuu!" She started twirling the Nagata extremely fast and crouched down a bit.

Kris grinned and moved to stand next to Sasori as Riri jumped onto Deidara's clay bird. Deidara's clay bird picked up Gaara with its tail and they took off, Naruto and Kakashi following them.

* * *

With Kris

Sakura watched as Naruto and Kakashi-koi** (Britt: I almost puked writing that... POD216: I know, I hate the pairing, but it seemed right for this story.)** left to go after the blond akatsuki member and two of Naruto's sisters. She turned to the two left in the cave, Chiyo still with her.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked Kris, anger evident in her voice. Kris smirked at her.

"Simple! The Akatsuki is my family. But so is Naruto." Kris said. "I lived with the Akatsuki for a few months awhile ago, Crissi dived in below freezing water to save them and I'll not let you kill my midget Chucky!" Kris put an arm around Sasori's... shoulders?

Sakura heard a slight groan from Sasori of the Red Sand when Kris had said 'Chucky'.

"Well, let's not keep them waiting, eh Sasori?" And with that, with her bat in one hand, Kris started making one handed hand signs.

"-Sigh- Don't get in my way." Sasori got ready and Kris let go of him and twirled her bat.

"I'll try, Chucky... I'll try." Kris looked at him, extended an arm, then bowed. "Puppets first."

* * *

With Riri/Crissi

"Deidara you need to be careful, he is gonna go berserk, you just have to get Kakashi away from him a while though." Riri explained and Deidara nodded.

"I'll make some spiders," Deidara threw the spiders and waited for the right moment. "Katsu." He yelled and a huge explosion happened.

Deidara grinned a wide grin when Riri mumbled, "Things that go boom by sexy bomber are so sexy..." Riri chuckled a little after that sentence and Crissi made a gag motion. "Why are you gagging over a sexy blonde?" Riri asked Crissi, flicking her dark brown hair to the side a little.. Crissi gave her a look.

"Because Nazis are not anywhere near as hot as Snakes." Crissi said simply back shrugging her shoulders, not saying anything about the hair thing.. Deidara looked amused.

"So you like 'Orochi'Phile' over me, hm?" He asked in a chuckle. She nodded, ignoring the fact that he used Kris's nickname for her snake.

"Yeah, but I missed beating you up, and the rest of the Akatsuki." He sighed, and winced when she hugged him. "But that doesn't mean I haven't seen you in years, so there, you get a hug." She let go of him.

"Whatever, hm." He dismissed.

Riri smiled thinking, 'So cute!' Then she looked down to the two that were pursuing them. "I wonder why they are following you now." Crissi pointed to Gaara. "Oh." She said, continuing to eye the two below the bird. After a moment she sighed and looked to Deidara. "Rapid fire," He nodded. "And if you do get a solid hit congratulations but don't take the kyuubi." She felt a little awkward about calling Naruto that, but siblings or not he is what he is. She thought about what she was going to do next. Jiraiya had taught her how to use two swords in battle, but she never had tried it before in a really battle only in training with Jiraiya. Not even Kris or Crissi knew that she even knew how to hold one. She sighed, making Crissi look at her.

"What's wrong, other than the reason we are stuck up here?" She asked. Riri rolled my eyes, and slowly starting walking to the back of the bird.

"Nothing really, just the fact that I want to fight." Riri said simply, turning her head to look back at Crissi. Crissi nodded.

"Okay, but what are you doing." Crissi asked, taking a step towards the other girl. Riri turned around to face her, smiling like a psycho.

"Something I haven't done in a long time." She said, chuckling a bit, and taking a little step back, and onto Gaara, making Crissi's eyes widen.

"Dude, be careful!" She warned, looking into Riri's eyes. "You're almost near the edge..." Crissi's voice trailed off, seeing the look in Riri's eyes. It was different from all of the rest of them. It somehow reassured her and scared her. Riri licked her lips and stuck her hands out, then having two swords poof into her hands. Then Riri turned to face the back of the bird again, crouching down to get a better view of her brother and his sensei.

* * *

Kris' Battle-

I was laughing so hard. Right now Sasori's puppet was just punched by that pansy, Sakura, and Sasori jumped out. Trying to look all epic, he still had the dark clock on.

Sakura was thinking that she had done the best thing in the world and Chiyo was eyeing Sasori. I took my time and glomped him, "AWE YOU CAME OUT YOU ANTI-SOCIAL PUPPET!" I screamed.

Sasori grumbled. "Didn't you already hug me? Why do you have to embarrass me so much, brat?" He Gibbs slapped me and I let go of him and held my head. He then proceed to dramatically pull his cloak off. Chiyo gasped and commented on how he hasn't changed at all blah, blah, blah. I was ignoring them.

"But danna that was Hiroku not you... I wanted a real hug." I whined, sticking out my bottom lip, Sasori rolled his eyes and sighed. He glanced at the other two.

"Ya know, I would appreciate it if you would stop being stupid. I already have one brat and having three more is only adding to my stress level. A- Oh they're attacking again." And with that Sasori pulled me closer to him as two shuriken whizzed by my head.

"Hey! Fuck you! I was talking!" I yelled at Sakura who was put on Chiyo's puppet strings. Sasori again sighed and pulled out one of his three scrolls and summoned his KazeKage puppet. I smirked as Chiyo's eyes widened.

"The third KazeKage! You turned him into a puppet!" Chiyo stared wide eyed and so did Sakura. My eye twitched. 'Nope! This is my buddy Claus, Santa Claus.' I thought cracking a smile.

"S-so thats the third Ka-KazeKage?" Sakura stammered. My smile faded and both my hand, eye, and mouth twitched uncontrollably. I was going against all instincts not to use sarcasm. BUT THAT IS THE STUPIDEST QUESTION! EVER!

I made sobbing sounds and pretended to sob. "Sasori I wanna pound their faces in... they're idiots!"

Sasori only grunted, noticing my twitching. "No. I didn't notice, must of slipped my mind." Sasori stated sarcastically.

I smirked at him, all annoyance flew out of my mind, and punched him in the arm. "I knew there was a reason why I loved you!" He only sighed.

Sakura and Chiyo gasped and said in unison. "YOU ARE LOVERS!" My eye twitched and me and Sasori stared at eachother then we both looked at his grandma then went back to staring at each other.

"Well when you put it like that..." I said slowly still looking back and forth. "Hell no." I snapped. "That means he would be a pedophile!" I gagged a little nudged him. "Just for that, let's make this weird." He looked up at me, shaking his head.

"No, I know you're weird and I don't like it one bit."

"Please danna!" I begged. I was already doing it... Hehehe... I started jumping up and down like a seven year old. "Please please please please please plea-"

"Didn't I already tell you that I have one brat adding another would only add stress!" Sasori snapped.

"Oh please you like my stress. It gives you nightmares that warm your heart!" I cheered he glared at me.

"Kris start fighting before I kill you, myself." He threatened, side stepping away.

"What ever, lets begin!" I smiled and jumped near Chiyo and Sakura, and swung my bat at the pinky's head, barely missing, but I did hit Chiyo in the arm and let's just say she'll have a nasty bruise.

* * *

Riri and Crissi's Battle

Riri's POV-

I stood at the edge of the clay bird. I looked back at Deidara and Crissi. Crissi gave me a confused look.

"What are you doing?" She asked me skeptically. I shrugged.

"Jiraiya taught me something. And that means I am going to basically go all swordmaster on them."

"Do you even know how to hold a sword?" She asked. I sighed and nodded.

"Of course I do, he taught me, why else would I be like this and have two swords in my hand?" I snapped.

She shrugged saying, "How was I supposed to know? I have never seen you with one." I rolled my eyes and looked back at her.

"Well bye, I want to see if this works. I know his secret and will use it against him if necessary." I warned referring to Deidara. "But anyway, I will be down there to fend them off, so slow the bird down a bit. Crissi use your naginata to stab him if I get hurt by a bomb. Other than that don't worry about me and only step in when I give the word." Crissi stared at me.

"I have never liked it when you take charge, but sometimes, I think it is really cool." She said shaking her head, and making me smile. I took a deep breath and jumped off of the bird, flinging the two swords to each side of my body, and landing on the tree branch right in front of Kakashi and Naruto. They both stopped, and glared at me. I swear I felt my heart squeeze really tight and then just fall into my stomach. I didn't want them to not like me, that is basically my worst nightmare.

* * *

Kris's POV-

I stared in awe as Sasori summoned 100 puppets and Chiyo had already summoned her ten and I watched the battle with wide, amazed eyes as Sasori fought against Chiyo, Chiyo's puppets and Sakura. Sasori took a chance and glanced at me. I saw him smirk in the corner of my eye.

"You like?" Sasori asked, his smirk growing wider. Speechless I could only nod in response, my eyes glued on the scene in front of me. I don't think any of you know how enchanting this is... It even left me speechless.

"Heh, this makes you look stronger than you really are. Adds sexy points. Not like you need any, but still." I shrugged, and he scoffed.

"You could use more strength, weakling. And where the hell did the sexy thing come from?" He teased. I sighed.

"Just watch me in battle asshole. They won't kill you this time, I won't let them. If they killed you and let your sexyness go to waste then what do you think they will do now that we are together?" I asked, eyeing him.

Sasori rolled his eyes, "Doesn't my 'douchebag' personality kill my 'sexiness'?" Chiyo was getting ready to use her seal on Sasori and I watched him switch bodies - which you have to have good eyes for - but I stayed near his first body and jumped away when she sealed that body to the wall. Widening my eyes for affect.

"Bitch!" I screamed swinging Sledgy at the whore. "You fucking asshole. How dare you. I am going to kill you! I never got my fucking kiss!" I screamed dramatically. Sakura's eyes widened a little at the words. "And you know what, fuck Sasuke. The bitch has his facts wrong!" I shrieked. Yes now everyone had their eyes on me as I started having a hissy fit. "God damn it! Fucking bitch!" I screamed bashing in the heads of multiple puppets, heh Sasori's puppets. Then Sakura realized what I said.

"You shut up about Sasuke! You don't know a thing about him!" She yelled trying to hit me, but I narrowly dodged and punched her in the gut. "Cha!" She yelled suddenly punching me in the face. I coughed and flew back, skidding on my back, until I hit a rock, coughing again, but this time I coughed up blood. Shit... I groaned and sat up.

"Fuck you, I know more about him than you." I spat. She glared.

"Tell me! Tell me something I wouldn't know!" She sassed. I smirked.

"He's gay." I said, raising my eyebrows and tilting my head to the side. She scowled.

"You're lying!" She yelled coming for another attack only to have me jump away, I chuckled. This was leaving a perfect opening for Sasori to kill that bratty Grandma of his.

"You said to tell you something that you didn't know. And I did." I grinned in victory, until she suddenly appeared right in front of me. I gasped a little and realized I was screwed, 'cause I could move my body fast enough in this condition. "Fuck!" I breathed, just letting my knees fail, and I fell lamely to the ground. I groaned a little at the pain in my side. "Stupid pain, slows me down." I muttered, wondering why I haven't been hit yet. I looked up to see Sasori's puppet holding her off. I smiled and jumped up and away. Hmm, that sounded lame. "Thanks." I muttered. "Now go kill the granny and make everything all better, 'cause she kills you. And I refuse to let you die - HOLY SHIT!"

Sakura had just poofed into a log - where the hell would you get a log? - and then turned up in front of Lady Chiyo and was blocking Sasori with her with her body, and Sasori just stabbed her with his poison covered sword.

My eye widened and I pushed all of the pain to the back of my mind. 'NUUU!' I thought using all of my power to push Sasori out of the way of the incoming puppets, barely managing to push him away in time before the puppets stabbed him. Now they stabbed into my lower rib cage. My body stiffened, which made the pain worse. Yes I did an epic move. "Bitch," I started, staring at Sasori, a trail of blood flowing slowly out of my mouth, I used my tongue to lick it though. "I better get a kiss." I smirked and let my legs go limp a little. I looked back to Sakura, the sword was pulled out a little and she was on the floor, clutching the sword in the stomach. Sasori smashed the two puppets that had stabbed me and gently ripped out the swords. Okay I lied there is no such thing as gently ripping a sword out of your body... And you know what? It hurt like hell... I'm never being epic EVER again. Sasori you're a lucky bastard. But during that he had picked me up bridal style.

"Stupid brat, what the hell is the matter with you?" He asked roughly, applying pressure to my wounds. He put some fire on it to burn the wound closed, he was NOT a medic nin so it hurt like hell.

"I... want...ed to be... epic..." I laughed and then grimaced, it hurt to talk. Yeah, seriously the last time I shall ever be epic. "And... I...really wanted...that... kiss..." I smirked and looked up at his face, he had a slight smiled. It was really small even being this close it was hard to see. "Was I a good girl?" He smacked me in the back of my head.

…

"So I don't get a kiss?" With that he dropped me. "AHHHH YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" I rolled on the floor clutching my rib cage. "Owowowowowowowow. YOU SHOULD AT LEAST KNOW THAT THIS IS A FLOATING BONE - IT CAN'T HAVE A CAST, WELL IT CAN BUT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! BITCH!" I yelled. Sasori smirked and walked over me, and over to Sakura, ripping the sword out. He picked her up by her hair and crouched down, then he pulled her face close to his.

"You want Sasuke?" She took a shaky breath and nodded, grunting a little in pain. He told her the bridge to and were to meet his undercover information specialist that worked under Orochimaru. Then Crissi popped out of nowhere riding on Crissi Tiger, Yuki. She took one look at me and her eyes got murderous. I was still rolling on the ground.

* * *

45 min. before: Crissi's POV-

I sat on the bird, twirling my naginata once again. Deidara turned to me.

"How did you even get into this world." I grinned.

"It's called being badass. You should try it sometime- wait nevermind. It'll just turn into the douchebag syndrom." My face went serious. "But when we get back to Pein in the ass, I won't be at the base long. I will have to go back to team 7."

"Why, un?" I smiled sadly at him.

"I want to see my snake." I think Deidara almost up-chucked. "Screw you woman! Kris will get to see Tobi, and Riri will get to meet Teddy-Shark. I kinda want to see the dude who I have a fragg'n crush on!"

"...I thought you two were dating, hm. Wait- Kris likes Tobi? Of all people Tobi?" Deidara shook his head. "I knew she would end up with a loser..."

I ignored the comment about Kris liking Tobi. "Dude, no. He just stalked me that last day. I think he was just trying to be friendly since I was one of the few that accepted him 'n all the shit, though Kris respects him." Deidara face-palmed then faced forwards.

I could have sworn I heard him mumbled; "No wonder she has glasses, un. She's fucking blind!" 'PMSing much, Dei-Dei-chan?' I thought then turned to watch Riri. She was pretty good with swords. I knew she had a katana in her right hand, but the other sword perhaps a tanto? I don't know. I watched her closely. 'What did she learn all of this?' I thought feeling a little left out.

"Crissi, we are going into the forest." Deidara informed me, looking back a little to see if that was okay even though he knew he had to do it anyway. I nodded, and his bird immediately fell head first from the sky. I screamed bloody murder at the sudden movement and hopped on Deidara, not really caring if it made him uncomfortable, at least I was safe. "Stop screaming, hm!" He yelled at me. I stopped and looked around we were on the ground. "If keep on screaming like that you will give us away, hm." He scolded, prying me off. I sighed and looked around.

"What now?" I asked. He shrugged.

"A lot of things could happen." He said honestly with a shrug. I smirked.

"Well I have an idea. Since we know what is supposed to happen you should probably just send us to the base. It would just make everything...smoother. Like something happens and we would get in the way big time." I explained sitting on the clay bird indian style. He watched me the whole time to see if I would fall.

"But the base Sasori and I were in is-" A loud boom interupted Deidara. He coughed and mumbled. "...destroyed...un.."

"Send us to the base in Ame." I shrugged, and Deidera went wide-eyed.

"YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT STUFF UN!" I laughed at him, then explained.

"Listen, out of the three of us Uzumaki sisters, I'm the best in Taijutsu. My Second best is Genjutsu- wait actually, I may be tied with Riri or Kris for Tai, but I know they really can't do Gen. And I only know like... five ninjutsu. So I simply put a genjutsu on the three of us when I first learned gen, making it so when we speak of certain things, certain people can't hear us. Like about Ame, no one except the Akatsuki can hear us, get the drift? Oh, but if we want someone to hear it that isn't a certain person, we are heard by said person. Confusing, ne?" Deidara's eyes were swirly. "I'll take that as a 'hell yes, un.'" There was a faint rustle in the bushes next to us, making me quickly whip out a kunai and flung it into the bushes.

As soon as the kunai launched into the bush, the bush screamed, "Da fuck?" As soon as the bush said that Crissi, and Deidara sweat dropped.

"Riri, what are you doing? Get over here." She limped out of the bush.

"I twisted my fucking ankle!" She complained, hopping on one foot. "Oh and they followed me."

My sweat dropped and I was about to comment but before I could, Kakashi was in the clearing holding a struggling Riri. "WOAH! Ey! Down, you pedophile who knows where those hands have been!" Kakashi only tightened his grip on her.

"Shut the hell up Crissi!" Riri yelled. "Fuck! Unhand me you, very sexy jonin! Who know what will happen if you don't!" She yelled to Kakashi, the look on her face and the twitching leg made it easy to tell that she was debating on kicking him or not. Crissi sweat dropped.

A plan popped up into my head, I turned to Deidara. "Deidara, we may need Kris for this." I glanced at Kakashi and Riri. "I'll send a clone to go get her!" And with that I sent out a clone.

Deidara scowled at me. "Then who is gonna help Sasori with this fight?" I glared at him.

"He's a grown man he can handle and wannabe and a grandma." I tuned back to Kakashi and Riri, he now held her arms like a straight jacket, and had one leg in the middle of her other two, making the position seem uncomfortable for both of them. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Kukukuku."

Riri looked at me. "SCREW YOU!" I smirked and she blushed. "Where is Naruto?"

"Here!" Said person yelled from behind me. He must of gotten Gaara when we weren't looking, hmm I must be a really bad sensory ninja. I whipped around and moved before he landed the punch, he was turning into the fox, the orange chakra was seeping out and his eyes were turning into slits. My eyes widened as he was suddenly behind me. He made a swing at my head but I quickly dodged. "GRR!" He growled and made to hit me again but a bomb went off near his head and he was gone again. I smiled a little knowing that the bomb was Deidara's.

* * *

With Clone-

'I' ran about half way to the once full base and made a clone then had her transform into Kris. "We are to-" I was cut off when we both poofed away and the only thing that showed that I was ever there was the smoke that came when I was poofed back into my real body.

* * *

Back to Crissi-

"Well that didn't work. " I stated watching Naruto and Deidara fight, okay more like Naruto beat the living shit out of Deidara and all I want to say right now is, "Where is my popcorn and lawn chair?" This was gold.

"Uhhh... Crissi. Would you mind helping me from the enemy?" Riri asked gaining my attention. I shook my head and she scowled.

"Why would I ruin the Copy-Nins fun? He looks like he is having a fun time holding you like that..." I smirked and Kakashi and Riri both glared at me. "Don't deny it." I said holding my hands up. I heard a faint rustle in the bushes and jumped out just to the side just as Deidara popped out of the bushes. I sighed and jumped back over to Deidara's side. I faced Riri and he faced the forest around us. Damn, he is so lucky? I blinked and blinked again. Riri was trying to break out of Kakashi's grasp by pressing her butt back and stretching her arms forward. The only thing she was succeeding at was making Kakashi very uncomfortable and herself look stupid. I laughed a little again, "Kukukuku." I debated on whether to tell her this or not, and decided not to.

"Crissi!" She struggled some more. "Please help me!"

"Where are you swords?" I asked just noticing their absence. Riri stuttered, and I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, you did NOT lose the swords that Grampa had HAND-MADE for you!" She hung her head. "SONOFABITCH!" I screeched, pulling at my hair. "Grampa's gunna kill me!"

"Mind paying attention to the fight, un!"

"Yes, I do mind." With that I twirled my Nagata, poofed next to Riri and Kakashi, grabbed Riri, slammed the pole-end of the Nagata into Kakashi's jewels, then poofed back.

"And you couldn't do that earlier, because?" Riri rubbed her now bruised arms.

"Cause I didn't freaking feel like it." I shook my hair out then sighed as I watched the fight.

"...When can we go to the base..." Riri anime-fell, then stood up, shocked.

"WAIT! Shouldn't we be helping Kris? I mean, Deidara gets out of the fight, alive, Sasori doesn't!" I waved her off, but then rethought it. I stood up and cracked my back.

"Time to slap some hoes." Now, I can only do five ninjutsu's, not counting the poof-teleport one. A Fireball one, a FireDragon one, one where everything except myself is in slow-mo, an easy weapon enhancing one, and a summoning one. The last one is my favorite though.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" I shouted, biting my thumb. All three of of could do the jutsu, but I liked mine a lot. Riri watched as a HUGE White Bengal Tiger appeared, then shrunk to about the size of a large horse. "Hey Yuki, ready to meet a pink-haired bitch?" The tiger purred as Riri and I jumped on.

"What! You're abandoning me, un?" Deidara shouted. Riri gave him an apologetic look as I just ignored him, Yuki speeding to where Kris and Sasori are.

"By the way Crissi even if I lose them I can summon them and have them in my grasp once again." She reminded, a little edge in her voice. "And how did you know that I had those swords?" I shrugged.

"You look like a sword person, so I just figured, and all of that extra time you spent with Jiraiya, I knew you weren't having sex, so I assumed..." I stared, shrugging when needed.

Riri slapped me in the back of the head. "Why the hell would my grandpa make a move like that one me?" A vein had popped out of her head.

"'Cause, he is a pervert. Also if you were as naive as when we found you then you probably do it to help his research." Riri's mouth gaped and she huffed.

"I so wouldn't have done that! Screw the research I don't want someone who doesn't have blue hair to look at my naked body!" I shirked.

"What is it with you and blue hair?" I asked, shaking my head a little. "If you like it that much then you will really like Kisame. He is a shark/teddy/man." I said cheerfully, I really didn't want to say he was good in bed... she would try to kill me. She smiled brightly. I can't wait to see him again, then I could go off with Orochimaru, and hopefully get him back in or something. She looked down a bit, like in thought, then her head shot up.

"Crissi! Dei loses an arm, I have to go back!" She yelled, jumping from my tiger, and quickly making her way back. I face-palmed, but had Yuki go even faster.

I wasn't going to help Kris really, I was there to watch and intervene when Sasori is about to die.

See, I have to go back to Konoha, so I can go with Sai, Sakura, Naruto and Yamato to the bridge and see Orochimaru, and go with Sai to his base. So I'm going to pull the 'I was getting info and didn't think that my sisters would join them' card. Now all I needed to do was pray to Jashin and hope that it works.

I just got to the entrance when I see Sasori threatening Sakura, Kris rolling on the ground in pain, and chiyo sighting the remaining puppets, lets just say I about killed everyone in that room. Kris was in pain and everyone was ignoring her? Oh hell no. I grabbed my naginata and slid off Yuki, my eyes burning with flames as I stomped over to Kris.

* * *

Riri's POV-

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." I muttered under my breath. I may not make it. "Damnit!" I yelled, making myself try to go faster. After three minutes of running full blast I saw the drop off in the distance. I kept my speed and let myself continue the pace. I stopped at the last branch until the drop off and looked to the left just a Deidara's bird past. "Whoa!" I screamed, falling off of the tree, and earning a glance from Deidara, before I fell completely into the forest. I landed on my feet and ran to the side of the cliff thingie. I took a second to breath and then jumped after Dei. I was going pretty fast, but Deidara's bird was faster than my fastest. I was already breathing heavily. I panted and dodged the clay that Deidara was throwing. He wasn't trying to hit me, he was only trying to get the enemy. I kept on panting, and finally caught up when he slowed down to taunt Naruto. He let me hop up, glancing at me. "I fucking hate running." I panted, sitting down and then leaning back.

He smirked.

"Maybe that is why you're fat." He said smugly. I smiled.

"That is why you are Blonde. I am not fat, it's muscle." He nodded, like he knew I was lying. "Asshole, I just ca-" I stopped speaking when I saw Kakashi bring down his hand, uncovering his new Sharingan. "Shit, watch out Deidara." I said alert, my breathing still uneven. He just stared at me.

"What?"

"I came back because they were going to take your sexy arm!" I hissed.

"Oh so now I am sexy." He said smirking.

I nodded, "You never stopped." I assured, flashing him a smirk. I looked back at Naruto and Kakashi. "Deidara! Get ready, be careful!" I licked my lips nervously.

"Okay..." He trailed off, looking at me. He then snapped his head back and saw the little vortex swirl in the air, really close to him. I gasped, lunging for the blonde and pushed Deidara down, he grabbed my arm trying to steady himself out, but we both fell down. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and used the other one to keep a hold on the bird with chakra, to make sure we didn't fall. He landed on his back and tightened his grip on my waist. I looked into his eyes and saw his little scope.

"When the hell did you put that thing on?" I asked, poking it until he glared at. I shrugged and looked down at the grip he had on my waist. I blushed a little at being this close. He did to. "I am guessing a natural reflex?" I said not to sure. He nodded and let go. "Well I kind of like that natural reflex." I said smugly, making him blink and look at me, just as I turned and looked around the edges of the bird. "Well we're over the forest." I thought out loud.

We had never met Gai's team so the explosion didn't happen but Kakashi did get knocked out from sucking up the bomb Deidara sent out while they were trying to get a good moment to strike so caught up they didn't see him make the signs. I don't know how but he did it.

The bird flew us over the dry place close to the forest then landed. We walked back to the forest, going a different direction. We both ran Zetsu and Tobi who were babbling over stupid stuff. Zetsu only nodded at our arrival while Tobi gasped and ran over to start poking and pulling and lightly slapping my face.

"Ey, Sempi who is the lady?" Tobi asked, after a while of touching me. I growled and in a flash he was behind Zetsu who only sighed.

"Tobi your an idiot, un. So do me a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP, UN!" Deidara yelled.

"But... But sempi Tobi only asked one question!" He squealed, Deidara's head had four tick marks appear, his eye twitching slightly.

"Tobi shut up or I will kill you." Deidara's voice was low and deadly.

Tobi giggled and stepped away from Zetsu. "But Tobi's immune to your bombs sem-" Before Tobi could finish his sentence Deidara had Tobi in a one arm headlock and was strangling the life out of him. The only thing I was going through my mind was how I was glad that Deidara didn't have to have Tobi's head near his privates!

"Yeah well if your imune to my bombs then how about we kill you by SUFFOCATION!" It wasn't a question, it was a fact and Zetsu and I only watched at Deidara suffocated poor Tobi.

Tobi squealed and tried to get away but failed and Deidara continued to choke him before Zetsu told Deidara to stop or Crissi and Kris wouldn't get to see Tobi. Deidara grunted and let Tobi go while Tobi got all excited about seeing them.

* * *

With Kris - currently

"Who. The Fuck. Hurt you!" Crissi growled out as Kris winced. Crissi continued to use the little med-nin knowledge that she had to heal her wound.

"Me, myself, and I." SLAP "Jashin Damnit, that hurt!" Crissi had gibbs-slapped her. She picked Kris up and sat her up against the back of the wall and stormed over to Sakura.

"PuppetFuck, can I hurt this one?" Kris went wide-eyed and started making 'NO' motions.

Crissi was pissed, therefore she was genocidal.

Even _Sakura_ shouldn't be put through the hell that was about ready to be unleashed.

"No, gaki. And why the name?"

"I'm kinda ticked off old man. Whatever. She'll get hers next time that I see her." Sasori could see the black flames in her eyes and actually felt bad for the pink haired shinobi.

With a final deadly glance at the two females on the ground behind her, Crissi put her nagata on her back and picked up Kris, Sasori following, a little self conscious at the fact that he was half naked. Crissi jumped up onto Yuki and they headed off, Yuki taking the lead in the trek to the blond bomber and Riri.


	6. Chapter 6

TimeSkip

Crissi frowned as she handed the annoyed Kris to Riri.

"Don't let her kill anyone at the base, got it?" Riri laughed at Crissi's order.

"Of course, mother, of course. Seeya later, ey?" Crissi nodded and ninja-jumped away after giving both Tobi and Zetsu a hug and almost crushing Deidera's ribcage on purpose. Riri smiled sadly and followed them to the base, Kris complaining about being carried.

"Shut up, un. I already have to deal with this idiot.." Deidera growled. After a while Tobi decided that he was going to carry Kris, and about after an hour they were in Ame, entering the base.

About an Hour and a Half earlier.

Crissi thought over her alibi as she travelled back to Konoha. When she reached the Hokage, she launched into her 'explanation.'

"See, I didn't know that my own flesh and blood was going to betray the leaf. I was acting, and any actions I took against team seven was to uphold said facade. My words and action during that time are not legit and though they were for the mission that I took upon myself to do, I regret them." She bullshitted.

"Of course. But if you do that again you will be stripped of your title as a Konoha Ninja and become a missing nin." Tsunade stated, her head resting on the back of her hand. She was giving Crissi cold eyes.

"Understood Tsunade-Sama." The red headed girl bowed and poofed out of the office. Tsunade sighed and let her head fall on her desk and her arms went limp.

"Shizune, get me the sake..." Tsunade mumbled.

"B-but you have work and I will not allow you to-" Shizune started, Tonton giving snorts now and then. Tsunade lifted up her head a little to look at Shizune.

"The work will be done, but right now I need a drink to calm down my ever beating heart." Tsunade said dramatically.

"But we promised the elders-" Shizune was yet again cut off but Tsunade.

"Screw the elders, all they do is bitch about how bad I am at being Hokage." Tsunade grumbled and Shizune sighed and thought about getting her sempai some sake.

"How many bottles do you want?" Shizune grumbled, taking out her wallet. Tsunade smiled and loudly pronounced.

"As many as you can see, I want 'em all!" Tsunade then let her head fall back on the tabled and Shizune went out to buy all the Sake she could find, wondering why Lady Hokage refuses to work on the paperwork.

* * *

Back At The Akatsuki Base-

Riri walked calmly next to Tobi, looking around. Nothing seemed... right. This place was dark and cold, and even though she liked the cold she hated the dark. Kris furrowed her eyebrows at Riri, wondering what she was thinking, but shrugged it off. It wasn't like that mattered.

"Deidara," Riri began. "Why is it so dark in here?"

"Because, we don't like to see everyone's ugly face, un." He replied rudely. Kris' eye twitched and in the next second Deidara was on the ground, Kris on his back, her hand pressing down hard on his skull.

"None of you are ugly! You are beautiful, creepy..." She looked for the right words. 'Ninjas? Humans?' She glanced at Zetsu. 'People? Things? Yeah things works.' She scowled. "Things!" She yelled.

"I am not a thing, hm." Deidara snapped. Kris scoffed.

"Yes you fucking are."

"No, I'm fucking not, yeah." Deidara mocked. A tick mark appeared on Kris's head.

"Look bitch - shut up! You Nazi creep should learn to respect me!"

"I'm German." Riri sobbed, interrupting the argument, that was just getting good. She looking at Deidara. "But I'll make it work." She chuckled softly in a kind of evil way. Deidara gave her a puzzled look. Then Riri blushed a little and looked away. Kris' eyes landed on Riri.

"I thought you liked blue hair people." Riri shrugged and looked at Kris.

"I don't care - blue is hot! And he has blue eyes." She smiled weakly at Deidara. "But I am still German." She pouted.

Deidara chuckled after a moment. "So you like Fish Fry, un?" He taunted. Riri gave a puzzled look before her eyes narrowed.

"Kisame is beautiful." She snapped. Deidara chuckled again.

"Beautiful my ass, hm. He is as ugly as hell, un. Heh, he is the reason the hallways are dark." Deidara teased. Riri's eyes twitched and now she tackled him, but he saw it coming and dodged. Riri growled and tried again. And missed. She tried again. And she missed. Deidara backed up, liking the fact he was making this weirdo angry, though he had no idea he could have lost his arm if she had not come. He dropped his guard for only a second, and then there was arms wrapped around him, lifting him in the air.

"Tobi is a good boy!" The capture screamed from behind him.

"Tobi let me go now before I blow you up, un!" Deidara threatened.

"Tobi can't do that since Tobi is a good boy he has to help Riri-chan!" He announced. Riri cackled and skipped over to Deidara. She pulled out a kunai, and pointed it at his heart.

"Tell me Kisame is beautiful." She hissed. Deidara tilted his head to the side, and his eye twitched.

"You want me to say that Fish Fry is... beautiful." Riri rose an eyebrow and a stoic face. "Well then Fish Fish is beautiful, yeah." Riri smirked and then punched Deidara in the face. "What the hell, un?"

"I said say 'Kisame is beautiful.' not 'Kisame is beautiful, yeah.'" She hissed, but then shrugged. "But that was close enough. Tobi please let him go." She said kindly, taking Deidara's face in her hands and looking at her punch mark, while Tobi ran over to Kris and started babbling about how he was such a good boy and her making perverted comments back. She bit her lip, a small blush on her face. "Sorry." She quickly let go of him and hurried to Kris' side.

As soon as Riri got near Kris turned from Tobi and whispered, "Why did you get all shy?" Riri glanced at her and looked down sadly.

"I think he is mad at me. And I think he doesn't like me." She pouted, but then perked up. "But I still have my Kisame." She squealed lightly. Kris scowled and gibbs slapped her, annoyed.

"Stop acting so stupid." She scolded. Riri bit her lip and nodded.

"Sorry, Kris."

Kris shook her head, "It's ok-" Kris was interrupted when a blur of purple tackled her to the ground and started squealing.

"Kris! I've missed you soooooooooo much! It was hard to live with these people for so long again when you get used to living with more girls - Kris are you okay?" Konan stopped in the middle of her rant to see Kris's face twisted in pain. Konan looked at Riri and did a double take. "Where's Crissi?" Konan looked around the room and only saw the gathering of the members, but no Crissi.

Kris opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by someone in the shadows. "How did Kris get here and why it Konan strangling her?"

Konan pouted and finally let go of Kris who took in a big gulp of air and muttered. "Sheesh Konan, you've got a good grip." She looked at the man in the shadows. "What I don't gets hugs from everyone? Tch and I thought you would be happy to see me... oh well. Sasori, help me up." Sasori used his puppet strings and made Kris stand up. "You lazy old man..." Kris stated as she glared at him.

Kris turned to Kisame. She chuckled at the sight of Riri creepily, and slowly trying to pet his blue hair. Kisame looked disturbed and took a step back, but Riri followed.

Kris smirked, then looked over at Hidan and had a staring contest, wondering which was going to for the hug first...

"Well what do you know, the little bitch is back and," He looked at Kris, sizing her up. "Probably more annoying than ever." Kris laughed and waved him off. Hidan then continued. "And they seem to be more fucking..womanly.." Kris glared at him

"My eyes are you here, douche."

"Sweetie, it runs in the family." Riri said kindly from beside Kris, making Kris gasp and punch her. Riri held her face, and whimpered a little. "That does too." She whined, pouting at Kris. "Bitch, that hurt." Riri scolded, sounding childish. Kris tilted her head back and laughed a little.

"Why would I care?" Kris said in a laughing voice. Riri shrugged and glanced back at Kisame. Kris slapped Riri. "Stop being creepy." She looked back at Kisame. "She is in love with your blue hair." Kris teased, wiggling her eyebrows. Riri got sheepish and started to chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I can't help it. Blue is sexy." Riri smiled. Nearly everyone in the room sighed, not agreeing, but Riri didn't notice. Konan looked around

"I have yet to be answered. Where is Crissi?" She asked forcefully. Kris shrugged and looked at her.

"Konoha." She replied simply.


	7. Chapter 7

**With Crissi.**

"Will you let go of me?" Naruto's voice was muffled by Crissi..eherm..chest.

"Will you forgivez me?" She countered.

"Yes! Just stop shoving my face in your boobs!" Crissi let go of her brother and grinned.

"Good Deal." She turned to the other three near them. "Olla Yamato, Sai, Pinky." She waved.  
"Uh...who are you?" Yamato said, holding up a finger.

"Naru-chan's eldest sister! Duh!" Crissi seemingly teleported over to Sai. "Ink Boy! Hugglez!"  
With that, Crissi hugged the ever stoic Sai and grinned in content.

"What are you doing, ug-" Sai started.

"Say it and I break your back." Everyone, san Sai since she was still hugging him, backed away from Crissi. "When you give me or my sisters nicknames, do not give us the opposite of what we are. If you think Kris is a bitch, per say, do not give her said nickname. I just saved you from death."

(At the Akatsuki base, Kris sneezed. "Damnit Crissi...")

"So when are we heading out?" Crissi asked Yamato.

"We? What do you mean we? You're not coming with us!" Sakura sneered.

"Listen here bitch." Crissi growled. "I'm going with you no matter what. Deal with it, or you may not wake up tomorrow."

With that, they set out.

"Ahh, this is one of the few times I've been in a hotspring, not staring into one with Grampa.." Crissi moaned as she sunk into the water.

_Flashback_

_"Either I can lock you four in a cage, or we can go to hotsprings to get to know eachother better!" Yamoto said, 'scarily'._

_Crissi raised her hand. "If you lock me in a cage with them, there will be bloodshed, more specifically," she pointed at Sakura "her blood will be shed."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"...To the hotsprings!" Yamato shouted as Sakura, Sai, Naruto and himself backed away from the dead-serious woman. Crissi grinned and hopped onto Sai's back._

_"Onee-chan, why him!" Naruto whined. _

_"Cause He's meh buddy. Your meh bro, therefore, shuddap." She turned to Sai._

_"What's my nickname, Ink-boy?"_

_"Angel." The others froze._

_"I take it you decided to be smart and opposite what I am, huh?"_

_"Yes. Is that okay?" Crissi scratched her head._

_"Eh, I don't mind being called demon, devil, Satan, ect. But Angels' good."_

_Let's just say, everyone had a WTF face._

_Flashback end_

"Ah...good times.."

Crissi got out and put on the short bathrobe and went to dinner, but didn't eat the main dish.

"Aren't you going to eat, Crissi?"

"No thank you Yamato, I don't like lobster." Crissi took out a bottle from her pocket. "I'll just have this."

She wasn't stupid- and she sure as hell didn't want a tracking device in her!

After that they spent the night and in the morning they left and headed to the bridge, Crissi ignored them heavily.

She twirled her Nagata, then mumbled 'minimize' and the Nagata turned into a small Nagata keychain. She hooked it to a chain anklet that was around her right boots' ankle and held many other trinkets, or minimized objects. As Sakura, Sai, and Naruto hid behind the rock, She poofed onto a tree branch and sat there, much like Xellos in 'The Slayers'.

"Get down here sis!"

"No can do Bro. I have plans to fufill...but.." She poofed next to him and hugged him dearly.  
"I love you, you know that right, Naruto?" Naruto was confused- she used his full name.

"Yeah..."

"Good. I want you to know that what happens here today doesn't change that. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I will protect you. I will watch over you. I will always, always, have you in my mind and do what I can for you. I want you to know that is also true with Kirsten and Nichole." A tear slipped down her face and she buried her head in his shoulder, taking in his scent of chicken ramen and teenage boy. "I'll miss you Naruto..and I know you'll never forgive me.. But I'll tell him that you said Hello and that you'll never give up on him..." She hugged her brother tightly, knowing she was confusing him a lot. But that was good- she didn't want him to try and stop her. Just to make sure he wouldn't figure out that she was leaving to go with the enemy she through in, "Our father was a good man. He would be proud. I hope you see him one day." She smiled.

"...I love you too onee-chan, but what are you saying?" Crissi raised her head and Naruto could see the tear stains on her face.

"Nothin honey." She brushed a few stray hairs from his face. "Nothing at all."

Naruto was shocked to see tears from Crissi and he couldn't help the feeling of loneliness even though she was still hugging him. Her words sounded a lot like when Kris said her goodbyes to him. Naruto shook his head in denial. Crissi promised that she was good, that she would stay with him, so why...

"Crissi-" Naruto started.

"Shh! Naruto be quiet! You're gonna get us found out!" Sakura growled, Crissi glared at her before kissing Naruto on the cheek and hopping back up on the branch she was first at. She had to be patient. It was a virtue, of course.

It all happened so fast, first Yamato in his Sasori disguise slid onto the bridge. Then Kabuto came and revealed himself, Crissi heard Naruto and Sakura gasp then looked down to see them with cold glares.

Crissi didn't mind them glaring at Ka-bitch-to because instead of using the reincarnation jutsu he plastered on Orochimaru's beautiful body on to himself! Crissi shook with rage but got ready for Orochimaru to appear, that's when she would make her move to him. When Yamato made the signal, she would get a better jump if she was on the branch. But now, she put a powerful henge over herself, one that could not be sensed nor undone by anyone that wasn't one of the three sisters. Her hair turned to a light brown and fell to her knees, her eyes turned to a vibrant brown and her skin tanned. Her clothes became a simple knee length cup-sleeve sky blue dress with a black belt from below her bust to her hips, and ninja shoes clad her feet. She put her hair in a high ponytail and ignored Naruto's questioning glance.

While waiting for them to stop talking Crissi dwelled on the little memories that she had of the trip.

_Flashback_

_We were all five in the forest on a dirt road when Sai started taunting Naruto about Sasuke, saying to Naruto that trying to save a rouge ninja was pointless for the mere fact that Sasuke choose to be a rouge. Naruto was shaking with rage at every word and Sai, knowing this, kept going on. _

_"Sai, that's enough. You have no real emotions, you have no ties, you have no idea what it feels like to have your best friend leave you!" Naruto shouted, then he quickly walked away far away from the group with Sai staring after him._

_"Naruto..." Sakura whispered under her breath. She turned to Sai and said in a sad tone. "Sai... Naruto has never had any caring family and to him, Sasuke was a brother." Crissi glared at Sakura, how dare she call her uncaring! She was here now, wasn't she? "For you to say that doesn't only make Naruto angry, it makes me angry as well. Sasuke will come back! We will save him! Thats what this missions about!" Sakura's voice was rising and Yamato only sighed, Sai and Crissi looked at each other. "You can't just-"_

_"Sakura would you shut your damned mouth already, you're like the queen of gossip."Crissi interrupted while walking over to Sai and taking his arm. Crissi started walking in the direction of where Naruto went, my back to Yamato and Pinky. "Stop sharing life stories... If you really cared you would go out to look for Naruto, not stand there and share pointless information."_

_Sakura's eyes filled with rage, "Really? You care! Leaving him for 14 years to be treated like a monster and hated by most people in the village?!" Sakura yelled._

_Crissi whipped around and glared at Sakura, a long, hard, cold, glare. "You think I had a say in what my father and the elders did? Really?" Crissi stormed over to Sakura, but Sakura held her ground. "I thought you were smart? I was what? Two? Three? Do you think I had much of a say in things? Well do you Sakura." Crissi now had Sakura by her collar. 'She talks like she knows everything, like she can change the world!' Crissi thought, anger boiling over. Crissi shakily let go of Sakura who fell on her butt in complete shock, she only saw traitors. Anything else seemed impossible, Kris had been asking Sasori of the Red Sand for a kiss. A kiss!_

_Crissi struggled to keep her anger in control, she reached in her pocket for her pills. She took a blue pill and took deep breaths, trying to calm down._

_"Sorry..." Crissi mumbled while leaving a stunned group of shinobi on the dirt road, "So much for Sakura being the blabber mouth..." Crissi muttered to herself while holding her head with one hand, the other clutching the pills..._

_Flashback End_

"I hope Kris and Riri and doing better with my kitties." Crissi saw Yamato give the signal as Orochimaru came out and while Sai, Naruto, and Sakura jumped behind Yamato Crissi jumped behind Kabuto and lazily leaned back on the rope, staring at Orochimaru who narrowed his eyes. "So, you seem a bit... cocky."

Kabuto's eyes widened, 'How did she...' he glanced at the girl behind him, 'Where did she come from?' Kabuto tured to Crissi. "So... you know My Lord."

Crissi scoffed at his words. "Oh," She looked at Orochimaru. "We've met before but that was in a place where they didn't belong." Crissi put emphasis on they, dropping a clue. Orochimaru seemed to look confused but then smirked.

"How did you get here? So you teamed up with the Kyuubi?" he glanced at Naruto. "Interesting..." Orochimaru moved closer to Crissi, a seductive look on his face, while Ka-bitch-to shot him a warning glance, confusion hidden well.

"You might want to work on the fight you are starting with my brother and his team." Crissi wasn't really surprised that Orochimaru had noticed her, even with her henge. But he sure was acting weird...

I mean, don't get me wrong, Crissi's as perverted as the next guy but she is dense, and not to mention innocent.

"Your brother?" Crissi rolled her eyes and pointed at Naruto.

"Him. He's my brother. Did you lose a few braincells when you got jutsu-ed back or something?" Hmm Crissi would have to ask about how he had been since then... "Besides, how the hell did you see through my henge!" She grumbled.

**'Maybe because you didn't put your all into it.'**

'What the fuck?' A monotone Crissi appeared in the normal Crissi's mind. 'I have an inner?'  
**'Baka Gaki. Yea, ya do.'** Crissi fist-pumped. 'Hell yes!'. Crissi's stomach grumbled..  
Loudly.  
"WHAT THE HELL NEE-CHAN!" Naruto said, struggling to stand up after the earthquake.

"I'm fucking hungry.." Crissi grumbled and sat down on the bridge.

**'You do know that soon where you're sitting will be blown to oblivion soon, right?'**  
Crissi suddenly had the urge to sit on solid ground. And that she did. She waved at Team 7 from the other side of the bridge. Then, she promptly ignored everyones bitching at each other and got out a small scroll. She quickly did a few handsigns and out from the scroll appeared a few things. Ipod touch, laptop, a modified wacom tablet, a normal notebook and pencil.

"Let's see if my babies work.." She started fiddling with the electronics.

Akatsuki Base

"I'm blue da do dee da do die, da do dee da do die, da do dee da do die. I have a blue house with a blue little window-" Riri sang.

"Kris I'll help you beat up Deidera if you shut your friend up." Pein deadpanned. Suddenly the actual song by Eiffal 65 starting blasting...from the scroll on Kris's hip...

"As Crissi would say; Dafuq?" Sasori raised an eyebrow at Konan's words.

Kris got out from the scroll the ringing device- her Ipod Touch.

"That crap works in this world! PRAISE NUT!" Riri rejoiced. Kris laughed and let Riri answer it.

"Riri!" Everyone gathered around Kris as they heard Crissi's voice. Riri had given the Ipod back to Kris after shouting "OH MY FREAKEN GOD IT'S A CRISSI!"

"Hey it's the tall bitch!" Hidan shouted

"Tall bitch?"

"You're the fucking tallest." Hidan explained.

"Whatever. I'm on Tenshi bridge! But Snake Bite saw through my henge.. I want an emo corner but I see no corners..." She then saw Kris. "Kris! The Sasuke to my Jugo! How are ya?" Kris grinned at the joke, though it was true.

"I'm fine other than a certain someone tackling me!" Kris gave a glance to Konan who sheepishly scratched the back of her head a small smile on her lips. Kris rolled her eyes, letting a small smile graze her face.

Crissi's eyes burned with flames, "I'm killing Tobi." That made the fun ones laugh and the sourpusses smirk while Tobi cried. So in reality Kris, Sasori, Kakuzu, Pein, Itachi, and Zetsu, smirked while Riri, Deidara, Hidan, Konan, and Kisame laughed while Tobi started crying and saying he didn't want to die.

"Nah it wasn't Tobi," Crissi's eyebrows rose. Kris's smirk got bigger. "Konan did." Kris dragged Konan down for a full view in the screen.

Konan turned shy and bite her lip. She looked at the Ipod and gave a small wave, "Uh, um... Hi Crissi." Konan cringed as Crissi scolded her about glomping wounded people. "S-sorry, I didn't know she was hurt."

Crissi waved her off. "Nah, it's okay. I just wanted to see your reaction of me yelling at you," Konan's eyebrow twitched. 'Why is Crissi so mean.' Konan internally pouted, she had thought Crissi was actually mad at her. "You should keep it that way too. But if you glomp another person that is in pain, no not you leader," Crissi added when Pein rose an eyebrow. "I'll do just the same when you're in pain."

Konan slowly stood her full height and let out a deep breath, glad she wasn't in trouble with Crissi. Konan walked to the couch and flopped down on it while The Akatsuki minus Konan and plus Kris and Riri talked to Crissi until, Crissi had to go because Naruto was turning into the Kyuubi.

"Bye! Love you! Bye my hubbies/hubbetes!" Then her side of the screen went black as Crissi killed the connection between them.

Riri sat back and puted, "I miss her already and she just left a couple of seconds ago." Riri whined. She leaned on Kisame who had taken a seat next to her when the chat ended.

"I'm just glad that we don't have three-" Kris and Pein punched Deidara. Kris punched him in the mouth and Pein punched him in the head.

"Shut up, Deidara!" Kris and Pein said in unison. They looked at each other and gave each other high fives.

Deidara held his head and groaned in pain, Sasori sighed and Riri ran over to Deidara and asked if he was okay and started patting his back awkwardly as anime tears dripped down his face. It took a moment then he stopped. Kisame stared at them, before shrugging and turning away. Riri was such a whore.

Then unexpectedly Riri jumped up and tackled Kris, whispering in her ear, "I'm intimidated!" Kris winced and shoved her off.

"KONAN! HELP ME!" She yelled. Riri gave a betrayed face to Kris before snapping her head to Konan, who was looking back and forth between the two. Everyone was staring, besides Pein, and Sasori.

"Not helping!" Riri cried, tackling Kris again. She looking like a koala. She gave a hard face to the people and then turned back to Kris and, still clinging to Kris, moved to her back and hissed at everyone. They all blinked. Then Riri slapped Kris' ass. "Go!" Kris bite Riri's hand and Kicked her in the butt.

"No, we aren't children anymore. Go fuck yourself!" Kris snapped. Riri gib slapped her.

"Fuck you." She retorted. "Go!" She yelled again.

"No!"

"Yes- Go!"

"Hell no!"

Great now everyone was watching the bickering pair of girls.

"I want to!"

"I don't fuckin have to, bitch!"

"Don't be a potty mouth!"

"Get off my fucking back!"

"Never!"

"Yes, now before i gamma ray you!"

"Bring it bitch!"

"Don't be a potty mouth!"

"Hypocrite!"

"Bitch, your the hypocrite!"

"Piggey back ride!"

"No get the fuck off!"

"NEVER!

"Don't scream!"

"You don't scream!"

"Piggey back ride!"

"Go fuck yourself!"

"Use a condom!"

"(gasp) You bitch! I'm a woman!"

"Then act like one and give me a piggey back ride!"

"Grow the hell up!"

"Mommy misses me to much!"

"That's not true!"

"I'm in a bubbly mood!"

"I don't fucking care."

"They intimidate meh!"

"Fuck off!"

"Neavah!"

The Akatsuki stared at them, they all being reminded of a Crissi + Kris moment. Kris and Riri fought for a little while longer before Riri finally left Kris's back and went to Itachi because out of all of them Crissi said he was the most polite. But Crissi had also said the Kisame was the best cuddler. Hidan went over to Kris and gave her a smack on the back.

"Congratz bitch! You learned how to control the fucking blabber mouth of yours a little- ow!"

"Times like these make me think that Crissi was the sane one." Sasori sighed.

"She was. Past tense there buddy." Riri said

Zetsu appeared from the wall "What do you mean past tense?** She means that Crissi used to be sane, moron."**

"Is that what those pills were for, un?" Kris resisted the urge to kill the Nazi and nodded.

"Anyways, why is the bitch at that bridge?" Hidan said, going into the kitchen.

"Because she wants to see her lurrrrrrver." Riri drawled, laughing. "And probably tick off Ka-Bitch-to." She added as an afterthought.

Kris then had an idea. "Why the hell did she hang up? We could have watched everything!"

"You mean we could of watched Naruto go Kyuubi?" Riri asked

"Yeah." Riri then jumped at Kris.

"Gimme the ipod!"

* * *

**Crissi- just before she hung up.**

**'Hey Dumbass, our brother is flipping out.'** Crissi sighed at her inner.

"Gotta go guys. Bye! Love you! Bye my hubbies/hubbetes!" Crissi grinned and hung up, ignoring the few scowls she got. She stood up and stretched, stuffing the ipod in her bra.

'Anyone trys to steal it, they get accused of molestation. Good deal.' She thought as she turned around.

"GODDAMNIT WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS EVERYTHING!" She screamed when she saw that Sakura was falling and Sai had just went by her. She easily reached a hand up and grabbed a fistful of the ink bird's...feathers? Ink?

"What the hell am I holding on to.." She pondered as she pulled herself so she was sitting on top of the bird. "Ollo Sai!" She shouted in his ear.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Crissi blinked.

And Blinked again.

"YOU SHOWED EMOTION!" She squealed, clapping her hands. She then did a 180 and was sitting calmly, bored.

"You have problems, Angel."

"Thank you Ink-boy." Her ipod then went off, so she answered it.

"IF YOU HANG UP I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Riri, did someone give you sugar?"

"No." Riri huffed "But don't hang up! We wanna see everything!"

"Kris, mind explaining the whole base situation?" Crissi deadpanned.

"Riri, listen closely. She's gunna have to hang up when she nears the base, so she doesn't give away any valuable informat-"

"But Team 7's gunna find the base anyways!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND DEAL WITH IT!"

"..."

"...Riri, stop trying to get her to give you a piggyback ride. You know it makes her cranky."

"How'd she know that?" Itachi asked, getting a few stares.

"It speaks!" Konan gasped

"Oh jashin, we've tainted Konan." Crissi groaned as she ran a hand over her face. "What about I call you when I'm in the base?"

"Fiiiiiiine..."

"Laters." Crissi hung up and turned off the ipod. "We there yet Sai?"

"That was amusing." Crissi's head snapped up and she saw one person who she wanted to punch in the face.

"Ka-bitch-to, how are you?" Kabuto winced at her 'I'm-gunna-kill-you' voice that was masked with sickening sweetness. "Get talking boy, or else those glasses are getting stuffed somewhere unpleasent."

"We're heading to the base."

"HALLE-FUCKING-JUAH!" Crissi jumped up and ran next to Orochimaru. "Is it okay if I ride on Yuki?"

"Who's Yuki?" Kabuto asked.

"Was I talking to you? No, I wasn't. But this is Yuki." Kabuto backed down when a white bengal tiger decided to appear and growl at him.

"Of course." Orochimaru said. Crissi grinned and jumped onto the now horse sized tiger and cuddled into it.

"Onwards, my great and epic stead!" Yuki chuckled and followed the three men, taking up the rear.

"Yuki, I love you. You gave me the best view of the house.. except Ka-bitch-to.. but it's a small price to pay.."


	8. Chapter 8

**Kris and Riri**

"How long do you think it'll take her to get to the base?" Konan asked Riri.

Everyone was just lounging around more or less. Hidan was still in the kitchen, as was Kakazu so that Hidan didn't eat too much and make it so that he would have to buy more food. Itachi was in a chair to the couch's right, while Kisame sat against the couch which was occupied by the two previous girls. Kris was glaring at Deidera, along with Pein. The blond bomber wouldn't shut up about art, and even Sasori was tired of it. Zetsu was sleeping in a wall, while Tobi was amusing himself by playing with Kris's hair, Kris leaning into his chest, sitting on his lap.

"I don't know, but I wish we hadn't let Crissi hold the TVs and DVD players." Riri replied, in her mind cursing Kris for having Crissi carry the scroll with most of the electronics.

_Flashback_

_"Who should carry what?" Riri asked as they laid out their scrolls on Kris's bed._

_"Riri can carry the furniture along with her scrolls, Crissi can carry the electronic stuff, and I'll carry anything left over." Kris said._

_"But why Crissi?"_

_"Because 'Crissi' knows how to fix the electronics. And doesn't break them." Crissi said, grinning in victory._

_"I break one TV..."_

_Flashback End_

"Stupid decision, I know. You can shut up about it now Riri." Kris groaned. That was the 16th time that Riri had complained about it! "Plus we don't even know if we would get them to work."

"It's called movies Kirsten." Riri drawled out Kris's full name.

"It's called silence is golden, duct tape is silver." Riri stuck her tongue out at her.

_'My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone gone gone gone. My Legs are dangling off the edge, a stomach full of pills didn't work again, I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone gone gone gone'_

Konan tackled Kris, taking the Ipod from her.

I repeat.

**Konan** tackled Kris.

-_- _**Again**_.

"How the great have fallen..." Kris said, holding her now bruised head.

"Ohaiyo Konan! We've reeeeeally tainted you, haven't we? Damn..." Crissi's voice said from the ipod.

"I blame Riri!" Kris shouted. Riri pouted.

"Meanie.."

Konan smiled and started talking to Crissi again. "You ok over there? If Orochimaru or anyone pulls anything let me know, and I'll be over there before you can blink!"

"Nothing to worry about Konan, I have Yuki. Who by the way has already literally made Kabuto shit himself."

"GO YUKI!" Kris and Riri shouted.

"Thank-you girls." Yuki's feminine yet cat-like rumbling voice responded.

"So I take it that you're at the base?"

"No, I'm in Wonderland. I'm at the Hatter's tea party."

"Tim Burton Wonderland?" Kris asked

"Hell yeah! Johnny Depp... No, Must keep thoughts clean..."

Riri laughed at Crissi's struggle. "Agreed. Yes, keep you thoughts clean, san the ones of your lurvvvvver!"

"What you talk'n bout woman?" The Nazi threw his hand into the air.

"I TOLD YOU SHE WAS BLIND!"

"Shuddap ya nazi!" Kris grinned and turned to Deidera.

"Unfortunately agree with you I do." She had tuned into her inner Yoda.

Tobi grabbed Kris by her shoulders and turned her around. He stared at Kris intensely before looking back at his sempai. "Tobi thinks you broke Kris-chan, sempai."

Kris broke into a grin, "Having issues I am?"

Riri, smiled. "Having issues you are." She replied in the same tone. She chuckled at herself and leaned down to get in Kris' face. But before she could say anything Kris slapped her with a random stick that had been on the ground, Riri continued to laugh.

"Yo peoples, i'm still on the ipod over here!"

"Sorry Crissi..." Konan sighed as she watched Crissi turn around and growl. "What's wrong?"

"I'll call when I get a room. I gotta smack some sense into a duck." The connection was cut off.

"What was that about?" Riri asked, normally.

"...Do we really want to know Riri, do we really..." Kris asked, Tobi still had his hands on her shoulders and she was still facing him on his lap.

**Crissi POV**

Crissi cut the connection and Yuki laid down so she could dismount. She stood next to Sai.

"Keep a hand on my shoulder at all times, or else I may so something rash."

"Okay Angel-chan." Sai suddenly felt holes being dug into his back. He slowly turned around and saw that the sennin was glaring at him.

"...If he kills me I'm going to haunt you." Crissi face-palmed.

"Why must we taint everyone... WHY?!"

**'Because you're the three musketeers, baka.'** Crissi fell down, she had forgotten about her inner!

"I hate you.." She spoke aloud.

**'Love you too. Now go kick Cuckatoo ass.'**

"Good deal." Crissi cracked her knuckles as she went in and let the conversation go on, and just before they left she walked forward.

"So, you're the asshole Uchiha that hurt my little brother..."

* * *

Hello Sasuke! Goodbye Sasuke!

* * *

"And who are you?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow arrogantly.

"The eldest sister of the Uzumaki Four, and the Kicker of your ass!" Sasuke snorted. Crissi's eyes lit up in anger. "Fight me, bitch." She growled at the youngest Uchiha.

Sasuke slowly stood up and raised his sword. Crissi grinned and slowly a red aura surrounded her.

In the Akatsuki base, both Kris and Riri had a bubbling feeling near their backs.

"I almost feel bad for whoever she's fighting." Kris said watching Riri purr softly while rubbing her back and looking around.

Sasuke watched as the girl in front of him got the same chakra aura around her that Naruto had when they fought at the Valley of the end. "So you really are his sister."

"And you're going down!" The three men watching the interaction stared with wide eyes as Crissi pulled out her nagata and the area turned into that as Tsukuyomi.

Sasuke's eyes widened then narrowed viciously. "How did you-"

"I'm just bad-ass like that. I'm just THAT bad-ass." Then, without using hand signs, she muttered the name of another genjutsu. "Death Foreseeing Technique." Sasuke was only frozen for a moment, but the three watchers could see what he had seen. Sasuke was standing there like he is now, but all of a sudden Sakura walked in a kissed him on the lips and he died twitching, with the pink haired bitch taking things.. ehem... further.

"Horrid, right?" Crissi laughed as Sasuke twitched, turning a bit green.

**'Hey, I love being the bringer of bad news but not on this subject...'**

'Whaddya want Inner? Actually, I dub you..uhh...'

**'Ami. But anyways, in exactly five minutes and twenty three seconds, that time of the month is gunna start.'**

"FUCK MY LIFE!"

* * *

**With Kris and Riri**

"I'm bored-"

"FUCK MY LIFE!" The Akatsuki stood, ready for a fight, while Kris and Riri started laughing their asses off.

"Those poor, poor, men." Kris gasped through her laughter.

"No, it's poor, poor, duck-butt and Ka-bitch-to. She wouldn't direct her wrath to Snake-man and Inky." Riri corrected her.

"What's going on?" Kisame asked. Riri had hearts in her eyes.

"You talked to me~" Kris rolled her eyes.

"Nothing, but Orochi'Phile's base just became Hell on Earth."

Zetsu raised an eyebrow, "Why?" his white side asked.

"Crissi has started her womanly hell of the month. So for the next week... stay clear of her if you see her." Konan started laughing.

"Those poor, poor, idiots."

"I feel no sympathy for them." Kris stated, still laughing. Soon the laughter died down and the girls of the Akatsuki all looked at each other. They're faces paled. "You don't think..."

"I haven't had mine yet..." Riri glanced at Konan.

Konan bit her lip. "Neither have I..." Kris's, Riri's, and Konan's eye twitched and they, in a blink of an eye, were running down the hallway to the bathroom.

A chorus of "OH FUCK!", "Shit!", and "My underwear!" Were heard by the male Akatsuki members, who had question marks above their heads, clueless about what was going on.

"What the hell, un. Why are they so-" Deidara was cut off by Kris.

"IF YOU CALL ME A BITCH I WILL FUCKING END YOU AND YOUR HIDEOUS BLONDE HAIR!" Kris called from the bathroom. A thwack was heard and Riri started to scold Kris about not dissing 'Her Dei-Dei-kun' or his 'luscious' blonde hair.

All the Akatsuki members started cracking up/smirking at the comment Riri made.

"Hey, Dei-Dei-chan," Hidan mocked. "My I feel your long, luscious, blonde, hair?" Another round of smirking and laughter, while Deidara's face turned red.

"Shut the hell up, un!" Deidara shouted, only causing more laughter.

"Why is Dei-Dei upset with us?" Hidan asked, smiling like the mad-man he is.

"Or is sempai just so flattered that sempai is blushing?" Tobi giggled. Cue bombs going off from a very pissed off Deidara.

"I will turn you all into art, un!" Venom fell viciously from his words as he threw more bombs at the Akatsuki members who were dodging them expertly. "Katsu! Katsu! KATSU! KATSU!"

Deidara got louder as he started yelling.

"Deidara! What the fucking hell are you doing? Having sex wi-" Kris started to say before a bomb blew up in her face. Everything stopped, and everyone stared, either at Kris who was slowly rising from the floor, a dark aura around her or at Deidara who was so pale that a ghost looked tan in comparison.

Deidara put his hands in front of him and quickly started to defend himself. "Sorry, Kris, I wasn't looking. I didn't know you were there. I wouldn't of thrown the bomb in your direction if I had-"

Kris was standing fully and her head that was once hanging, snapped up, scaring Deidara so much that he couldn't speak, so Kris did for him. "I. Will. Kill. You."

Deidara squeaked and ran as fast as he could of of the room and into the hallway, but Kris had inherited her father's speed and, with adrenaline and anger fueling her, easily caught up and tackled Deidara to the ground. Kris turned Deidara over on his back and straddled his hips, then used one of her hands to pin both of his above his head.

"All I need is one hand, one hand to stab, to rip, to break, to do anything I want to you.(kinky) So help me Jashin, if you struggle at all, I will make your death even more painful." She growled and Deidara stared at her, eyes wide, and he started trembling "Do I make myself clear, Deidara?"

Back in the blown up living room of the Akatsuki Hideout

'I'm blue ba doo de da do die,I have a blue house with a blue window, blue is the color I've found that I wea-'

"This is Pein. Kris is trying to kill Deidara at the moment, may I take a message?"

"... Okay, I will tell her. Goodbye." Everyone, san a trembling Deidera and fuming Kris, stared at their leader like 'what the fuck?'

"Kris, Crissi said not to kill Deidara too much, she still wants a piece of him." Pein called. He got a muffled and very colorful reply explaining how she didn't care what Crissi wanted.

"How the fuck can you kill someone 'too much'?" Hidan wondered aloud. Kris grinned when she heard the message though.

"So torture it is..." Deidara paled even more, and everyone started worrying for him.

"Help, un." He squeaked.

* * *

**With Crissi- Just as she screamed 'Fuck my life'**

Crissi tured around, easily dodging Sasuke by doing so, and ninja-sped over to Kabuto. She grabbed his collar after sending another genjutsu at Sasuke and growled into his ear.

"If you don't get me time of the month items within the next two minutes..." she let the threat speak for itself as she made a small cut on his neck. Sai and Orochimaru watched as he almost flew out of there.

"Yuki, make sure he gets enough." The tiger bowed its head and went after the bispeckled man.

"Angel-chan, what did you do to him?" Sai motioned to the twitching Uchiha.

"Same genjutsu, but with both Pinky and Piggy." She released the genjutsu and Sasuke vomited.

"Ew, nasty." Crissi held her nose. She jumped onto Sai's back and pointed out the door.

"Onwards, my Inky stead of art! To our room!" She turned her head to Orochimaru.

"..."

"..."

"..Where exactly is our room?"

After the they got their room, Sai dropped Crissi onto the bed and walked away. Crissi pouted but then ran to the door when she heard someone turn the knob.

"Here's your-" Kabuto blinked and looked at his hands, where nothing resided.

"Your life is spared for today!" Crissi called from down the hall, scaring the shit out of him.

'How'd she...' He shook his head. 'I don't want to know..'

Crissi sighed in relief as she exited the bathroom.

'Ami, I love you, you just saved my underwear from the trash bin. And they're my favorite pair too!'

**'Your favorite pair of underwear says 'Party Starter'?'**

'Yuppers.' Crissi froze "DON'T LOOK AT MY ASS YOU PERVERT!" She shouted. She heard scuttling and turned to see a sound ninja running away, probably fearing for his life, screaming

"I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Crissi blinked and shrugged, totally forgetting that she was yelling at her inner, and skipped through the base... for the next hour...

"..." **_BAM_** The wall was now decorated with a hole the size of Crissi's head. "WHERE'S THE FUCKING KITCHEN IN THE JASHIN-FORSAKEN PLACE!" Crissi yelled and half a second later two pale arms wrapped around her waist, gently pulling her back and her head out of the wall. A sexy snake-like voice whispering in her ear.

"Crissi," Said girl shivered as Orochimaru's breath tickled her ear, making Orochimaru smirk.

"Would you please refrain from breaking any walls. I would be very happy If you wouldn't do that." Orochimaru said absently, removing one arm from her waist to play with Crissi's hair.

"Okay, but could you show me where the kitchen is?" Crissi felt lips connect with her temple and her heart skipped a beat, a blush forming. Orochimaru smiled at her reaction and took Crissi's hand gently to lead her down a series of halls until they entered a big spacey kitchen, complete with cabinets, a fridge, a sink and a dishwasher.

Crissi beamed and hugged her snake, he gave a deep chuckle and patted her head. He watched as she got out a jar of pickles and started to skip down the hallway, looking in each door she passed. "Oh, by the way, how long were you watching me for anyways?" Crissi asked him, but got sidetracked by something in the room that she just looked in. "Ooh Kabuto~"

Orochimaru's face scrunched up in confusion as he heard something vibrate. He looked and on the ground was a device that Crissi and her friend Kris had used in their world. He picked it up and touched the screen, unknowingly answering the ipod.

"It's Snake-Fuck!" Oh god... he thought that when he was exiled out of the Akatsuki that he'd never have to hear that zealot's annoying voice ever again.

"Hello Hidan, is there a reason that you were calling Crissi?" Orochimaru asked in his nicest voice that he could muster, he was just insulted. **(A/N POD216: If you didn't know that, you are Polish.)** Crissi was busy pestering Kabuto to notice her phone being used by her boyfriend.

"Oh yeah." Hidan stated dumbly. "Crissi should see this video, I got it off Kris torturing Deidara, it would make any Jashinist proud." Hidan said smirking, he looked proud and his eyes held a gleam that Orochimaru classified as crazy. "Thats all." The screen went red and then a moment later a buzz happened and a little envelope with a 1 in the right hand corner popped on the screen.

Crissi re-emerged out of the room and smiled at Orochimaru who gave the phone back to her.

Crissi tilted her head and glanced at Orochimaru and clicked on her message box to have a video pop up and begin to play. Orochimaru watched as her eyes widened and she quickly covered the small device.

"What is it?" He tried looking at it over her shoulder.

"You're not old enough to watch this." Crissi said, stuffing the device in her shirt then fast-walking back to the lab that Kabuto was in.

Orochimaru stood there, dumbfounded.

"Wait, what?! I'm at least thirty years older than you!"

"Then you're a cradle-robber!" She yelled back before walking into the lab..

Orochimaru scowled and walked back into the kitchen to grab a pint of strawberry ice-cream and a spoon, then going to sit in the far corner to grow mushrooms and sit in his personal emo corner. Orochimaru looked to his right when he heard footsteps and saw Kauto come sit in him.

"Hello sir, I expect she also called you a cradle-robber?" Kabuto asked, head against the wall, his chocolate flavored ice-cream in his hands, spoon hanging from his mouth.

"She wouldn't let me watch the video!" Orochimaru whined and Ka-bitch-to nodded in understanding.

Just as he finished his statement Crissi ran in and tackled him against the wall. "Maru, please forgive me for being so rude!" Crissi sobbbed, 'Maru' chuckled and patted Crissi's head, she looked at him. "Is I forgiven?"

"Yes, but may I see the-" Orochimaru was cut off by Crissi's finger to his lips.

"No, you may not see that video because it gives away information that may not just be shared." Crissi removed her hand and Orochimaru sighed.

Orochimaru leaned down and kissed Crissi full on the lips, then after a while pulled back for a good breath of air, his lips were hovering just a centimeter over hers. "Can I watch the video now?" Orochimaru asked in a sexy voice, Crissi blushed.

"U-um, n-n-n-no y-you ca-can't" Crissi shook her head a bit and cleared her throat. "No, you aren't watching the video, end of discussion!"

Orochimaru pouted and looked away from Crissi, "Damn it." He muttered under his breath. Crissi rose an eyebrow and huffed. She then turned to the chocolate ice cream eating nerd.

"You, Nerd. Come with me." Kabuto pointed at himself. "Yeah you. Let's go."

Kabuto sighed as he followed Crissi. "Do you insult everyone?" She snorted.

"Bitch, please. I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you." Crissi sat on one of the metal lab tables in his lab. "And no, it's only you sweetums." Kabuto rolled his eyes.

"What do you want anyways?" Crissi scratched the back of her head like her brother and looked at the floor.

"I need you to do that medical crap that you do. Like take a scan or something. I need to know if something is acting up like I think it is." Kabuto turned all professional when he heard 'medical crap'.

"Tell me everything. Lord Orochimaru would have my head if something happened to you."

"Why? That little fling thing that happened today was probably just from not seeing his buddy for two years, give or take."

"...YOU'RE FUCKING BLIND. Now, about the medical inquiry..."

Back at the Akatsuki Base.

* * *

**Konan's POV**

Kris and Riri were in front of me, it has been only minutes from when Kris finished torturing Deidara, now he just looks like a broken corpse, I felt sort of afraid of Kris and managed to sit closer to Riri without her noticing.

But I guess Deidara got what he deserved, he did hit on me right in front of Pein, who was sad because Kris refused to let him join her in the beating of Deidara. But she did have a good reason, who wants to be about blown up?

"So, anything that you want us to specifically to talk about Konan." Kris's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked around at the girls now staring at me.

I smiled and blushed a bit, I looked away from them. "Well...-"

"Spill it, I don't want to be here all night!" Kris complained.

I took in a deep breath, "I think I ready to have a kid with Pein." Riri choked on thin air and Kris fell off the bed."But you can't tell him! He might get mad!"

Kris slid back on the bed, she looked very serious. "Konan, giving birth to a child is very serious, especially in a world like this. Do I even have to tell you about the added on dangers the child would have because your an Akatsuki?"

Riri gave me a better reaction, she hugged me tight and said she would be the best aunt ever! "I'd give him/her cake, and presents, and clothes, and take him/her everywhere." Riri ranted, I giggled while Kris rolled her eyes and shoved Riri off the bed.

Kris turned back to me and I looked her in the eyes, "I know, thats why I came to you guys to help me decide if I should have one, Crissi needs to be here too, she would help alot."

"Yeah, well not to mention that if you had a kid with Mr. Superiority complex, then don't ever bring the little jerk near me, he would never come back alive." Kris warned and I smiled at her.

"I think I just made my decision." I said, a mischievous glint in my eye.

"Really? Are you going to have a child?" Riri asked excitedly I nodded and Kris slammed her head on my pillow and screamed a long stream of profanities, while Riri bombarded me with hugs and then went back to the rant of what she would get my child...

I sighed, "I just hope she/he grows up right... living with psychos might not help him/her mature. Especially when you live with Kris and Hidan as roommates." I grumbled, giggling when Kris shot me a glare.

"Tell me when I have to leave for 13 years, or more, I don't know how long that fucking thing will take to mature, and if it is a snot nosed little brat I'll punch that little fuck into his/her eternal slumber." Kris ranted, an evil aura around her. I pouted and put a hand on my flat stomach.

"Kris, stop lying to yourself, you will love my child and then have one of your own, because of how jealous you are of my perfect child is." I huffed and looked up at the ceiling, imagining my son to be a strong blue haired, orange eyed kid. I sighed in content, Kris snorted, waving the thought out of the air.

"More like this." Kris looked up and an orange haired girl with dark brown eyes, standing on Hidan's cursing head, ordering him to shut or she would get daddy and Kris, Riri, and the rest of the Akatsuki, holding each other back from killing her. "Yeah, that seems more like it." Kris nodded in approval and I scowled.

"She would not act like that!" I huffed, glaring at Kris who rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure, she'd act like an angel. Konan we are talking about a bad tempered mother and a superiority complexed father, how the hell do you get a sweetheart out of that?" Kris asked, a tick mark grew on my head.

"I am not bad tempered," I growled, a sea of paper coming up behind me, my eyes turning to flames. "Take that back!" Kris's sweat dropped and Riri raised her eyebrows.

"Uh, Konan?" My head snapped to Riri and she shrunk back. "You never closed your door..." I tilted my head, confused. All my anger washed away with the wind and the paper came back to me.

"What do you mean my door wasn't closed?" I asked before I could turn around to look a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

"Means, that I just heard your whole conversation." Pein whispered in my ear, all the color drained from my face.

Well, no use hiding from him now... I turned to face him. "What do you think?"

Pein jumped back and looked at Kris, I glanced at her and she was still glaring at me, I sighed. Pein looked back to me and looked me right in the eye. "To dangerous, no."

I exploded, "What?! You don't want a kid with me?! Your siding with Kris over me!" I felt hurt and I heard Kris snort and I turned my fury on her. "Shut it shit hair!" I growled, and Kris gave me an 'are you serious?' look.

"Good thing my hair is almost black, it could never be the color of shit!" Riri said happily, toying with her hair. I wanted my child to be like Riri, always happy and smiling, the exact opposite of Kris, who was probably a demon from hell.

Pein put a hand on my shoulder and I made no move to remove it, meaning it was safe for him to talk. "Konan, I would love to have a child with you, but the dangers are so high." I smirked and looked up at him.

"I know, Kris wouldn't shut up about it, but we are S-ranked criminals, nothing can touch us!" I laughed as Kris held back Riri from strangling me with hugs. "And I already have an aunt willing to be apart of his/her life, without complaint."

Pein just sighed and caved, knowing her would lose anyway. I always win these kinds of battles.

Kris looked at Pein, "Do you have any hideouts that I can use? I don't feel like living with more immature people than I have to." She stated bluntly, then she pointed at me. "Don't even get me started on how nine months with her will kill me."

"With your attitude it might die before I even have a positive!" I growled.

Pein sighed again and nodded. "I have one near the leaf, though that might be convenient to be closer so you can keep and eye," He lowered his voice, "On your brother." Little of the Akatsuki knew Naruto was the girls brother, Pein, Tobi, Zetsu, and I knew, but that was it. I have no clue if Orochimaru knows, but she will tell him.

"Kay, I get a year vacation! I get a year vacation! Nah nah nah-nah nah!" Kris bragged, Pein rubbed his temples, trying to hide his smirk from Kris, who was doing a little happy dance.

"Kris," Pein started.

"Nah Nah-"

"Kris!" Pein said loudly, her head snapped to him and she dove behind me, "Thank you, your not going alone! Tobi, Hidan, and Kakuzu will go with you." Pein stated, then calmly walked out of the room before Kris could object.

"Shit! It was from my happy dance that got him all jealous," Kris snapped at herself, "I knew I should've waited." Kris glared at the hallway. "Damn him."

"I HEARD THAT KRIS!" Pein's voice echoed, Kris flinched and walked closer to me.

I smiled at the door, happy that things so far were normal, glad that a threat to my child would be gone, but I would miss Kris a lot...

**Later**

"So whaddya think? Or should we wait until after it goes ka-boom?" Crissi asked via ipod touch.

"Eh, before it goes boom. That way we can smuggle you back to the Akatsuki base." Kris said, Riri basically sprawled out, looking over her shoulder.

"Good Deal, Good Deal. Bring Konan if she wants to come. I'll have Yuki talk with your summons so they can take you here." Crissi paused. "And I may or may not have something to tell you guys when you get here... I'm still waiting for results."

"Okay, see you then." Kris said nonchalantly. It couldn't be that bad.

"Laters Kris, Riri, maybe Konan." Kris rolled her eyes and told Riri to go talk to Konan.

"But why me?"

"...She may or may not kill me, that's why." Riri nodded after remembering the previous conversation about Konan wanting a kid. About three minutes after Riri left, the Akatsuki base shook.

"SHE HAS SOMETHING TO TELL US? SHE BETTER NOT BE PREGGERS!"

"May Jashin have mercy on your soul Crissi... May Jashin have mercy..."

Konan ran in and grabbed Kris, Riri in her other hand, and dragged them outside. Yuki was waiting for them.

"I thought you were going to tell one of our summons where to go?" Riri petted her.

"It's much easier this way. Plus Crissi had to talk with Kabuto." Yuki lowered herself so that the three girls could get on then sprinted off.

**Timeskip**

"Hey, shush. I hear something." Konan said, hopping off Yuki and looking through a bush. She started to laugh, a hand over her mouth. Kris and Riri ran to see what she was laughing at.

Crissi was standing above the base, large headphones on her ears, dancing around. She was also belting out 'Jessie's Girl', her eyes closed.

Riri laughed "Well, she does like all types of music." They got out from behind the bush and stood there waiting for her to notice them. Crissi turned, still dancing and singing, and opened her eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL!" She shrieked then slipped on a pebble and landed on her butt. Konan, Riri and Kris started laughing while Crissi turned off her MP3 and pouted.

"Not cool dudes. Not. Cool." She sighed and stood up. "Well, lessgo." Crissi walked around and stomped on a part of the ground, then started jumping on it as hard as she could.

"Um, Crissi, what are you-"

"LET US THE FUCK IN! I FORGET WHEN THE ENTRANCE IS-" Konan, Kris and Riri walked to where Crissi had been and looked down.

"I thought I saw a nerd." Riri said, then looked closer. "I did, I did see a nerd!"

"Damn..you...tweety..." Crissi coughed and stood up slowly. Kabuto twitched from his spot on the ground.

"Eh, lets go before I kill something, to be specific it is white haired and had glasses..." Kris said, glaring at Ka-bitch-to, said dude glared back, making Kris snort. "Pansy, can't even lay out a good insult. Tch, whatever." Kris turned on her heel and started to walk away.

"Shut it you little bitch! You don't know shit about anything!" Kabuto yelled, teeth clenched, Kris had made him snap. To his surprise Kris glomped him.

"YES!" Kris shouted, Kabuto looked confused. "You stood up for yourself, instead of being a creepy little robot all day!" She hopped off of him and gave his a slap in the back. "Good job." She smiled at him and Kabuto blushed a little.

Everyone had WTF faces, and Kris looked at them, confused. Finally after a long silence of staring and blushing (Kabuto) Crissi spoke. "Okaaay... weird. Oh well, lets go!" Crissi threw her fist in the air and Riri mimicked her.

"Whooh!" Riri yelled as she and Crissi started to run away from the boy and two girls.

Konan's sweat dropped, "Why are they so hyper? We just got here!" Konan whined and Kris patted her back, reassuringly.

"Being as stupid as they can be is apart of them, no changing that." Kris stated, and in the distance the two could hear Crissi yelling at Kris to shut up or Crissi would tell Kris's crush all about her most embarrassing moment. "You little bitch, you would never get far enough in your sentence!" Kris yelled, angry.

Konan sighed, "I don't want to go anywhere, my ass still hurts!" Konan whined again as she and Kris made their way to Yuki who was laying down. Then she stopped, "Wait- Kris you have a crush?" Konan tackled Kris, Kris grunted, it seemed Konan always forgot that she still had her ribs sliced open! "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Konan chanted, her eyes dancing.

Kris's eye twitched with pain and annoyance, Kris lightly shoved Konan off of her, "I will never tell!"

Konan cackled evilly and rubbed her hands together, "Fine then I'll just tell the whole Akatsuki about your affair with Kabuto, that might make you tell me."

Kris looked confused, "Affair? What? I'm not even dating! I could date him if I wanted!" Kris defended. Konan leaned in and rose her eyebrows. Kris grabbed Konan's head and shoved it back. "Don't breathe on me when that mouth has probably held Pein's-" Kris was interrupted when Konan's fist connected with her jaw.

"Shut up, Kristen." Konan growled. "I'll drop the subject."

Kris smirked and stood up, putting a hand on her chest, only to notice it was wet. "Uh, Konan..." Kris removed her hand as Konan looked up. "You reopened my stitches."

"I can restitch them..." Kabuto said, Kris and Konan both jumped at hearing his voice. "Oh, sorry."

Kris shook her head and smiled, "No problem, but I don't need them restitched, I will only open them again with what I'm about to do, thanks for the offer though." Kabuto nodded and pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"As you wish." He replied shortly, "But if I may ask, what are you about to do?"

Kris smirked and patted Kabuto on the back, "Be ready to run," Kabuto's head tilted to the side, but he said nothing. "Konan, can we leave now? I can smell your dick breath from over here." Kris complained, Konan's head snapped at Kris.

"Excuse me?" She asked, a wave of paper forming behind her as a dark aura surrounded her. "Will you repeat that? I didn't quite catch what you said." Konan asked in an overly calm voice.

Kabuto and Kris's sweat dropped. "Run. Run! RUN!" Kris grabbed Kabuto by the wrist and the two shot off with Kris in the lead.

"Why would you do that?" Kabuto asked, the paper sea on their heels.

"Because it's fun to annoy the hell out of her!" Kris answered, laughing a bit. "Also because I want to see Sasuke and, if I have my facts right, he should be..." Kris trailed off.

Kabuto looked around and took the lead, running them into a bush, or what looked like a bush but was really the back entrance of the base they were staying at.

Kris beamed at Kabuto."Thanks!" Kris took off down the hallway and turned to the door with Sasuke's name plate on it. "Come here and give auntie Kris a hug!" Then Kris disappeared from Kabuto's sight and into the darkness of Sasuke's room.

Kabuto sighed and sniffed, "I'm never gonna get a fangirl..."

**With Crissi and Riri**

"You're on something. I swear it." Riri looked at Crissi who was skipping around, looking in every door trying to find Kris.

"Nah, just really bored." Crissi's hyperness went away suddenly. "I think she may be near Sasuke's room. I reeeeeally need to tell you guys about what I had Kabuto check out."

"Can't you just tell me now?" Crissi grinned at Riri as they took a turn.

"Nah, I want the suspense to naw at your souls."

"You're creepy."

"Thank-you." They saw a doors that had a plaque that said 'Sasuke' on it and it was slightly open.

"Now now Cuckatoo, don't be cross." Riri and Crissi rolled their eyes as Kris backed out of Sasuke's room with a nervous smile on her face, her hands up in defense, as Sasuke slowly walked towards her with his sword half drawn.

"You- you! How dare you say- AAARGH-WHOA!" Sasuke charged at Kris, and in a flash of grey Kabuto was stalemating his blade with his own chakra blade.

"I don't think that Crissi would like it if you hurt her sister..." Riri raised an eyebrow at Crissi, who made a 'wait for it' sign.

"...and that would make Orochimaru-sama very angry if Crissi is displeased."

"Now that makes sense." Crissi laughed as Sasuke backed down after looking at her

Kris looked at Crissi like 'holy shit'. Kris did a mock bow. "All hail the mighty and all powerful Crissi-sama!" She straightend up. "I guess dating the big cheese has it's advantages, huh?"

"Not dating per say..." Kris rolled her eyes and turned to Kabuto.

"So what does Crissi keep talking about that she won't spit out?" Kabuto motioned for them to follow him.

"Let's go!" Riri pointed to where Kabuto was heading and marched on.

**Timeskip**

"So are those the results?"

"Yes, just let me decode them.."

"Okay, thank you for this Kabuto." Kris and Riri were talking in fake sign language behind Crissi and Kabuto's backs as they leaned over his desk and observed documents.

"What are they doing? They're acting like either bffs or like their dating!"

"I have no clue Riri, but we'll find out soon hopefully."

"Well, that sucks. A lot." Crissi groaned and fell back onto the lab table with a thump.

"What sucks?"

"Apparently your sister has something that in your world they call endometriosis."

"Endo-whatawha?"

"Means the probability of having kids is slim to none." Crissi sighed. "I've had it since I was twelve, and I thought it was getting better. Turns out it's to a point that I may be infertile. Damnit..."

Kris frowned. "That sucks, but you can always adopt."

"Yeah, I know." Crissi frowned, "But with Konan talking about it, it really sucks."

Riri raised an eyebrow. "Dude, think about the pain? I don't really think they have c-section here."

Kris backtracked and grinned as she leaned against a weird lab machine thing. "Wait- are you saying you want to have kids? Snakey's kids?" Crissi's face turned beet red.

"Shuddap... It's perfectly normal to not have control of your dreams..."

Riri laughed. "And yet you say that you're not even dating him... we're going to give him a little push." She had whispered the last part. Kris grinned and snuck out to go talk to Konan, who was a bit lost in the large base.

* * *

"So we're going to get the old creepy guy together with Crissi... why does this sound wrong?"

Konan raised an eyebrow at Kris.

"Eh, doesn't matter to me. I just want her to get laid so she stops being so blushy-dushy." Konan smacked Kris's arm. "Ow!" Kris pouted as Konan scolded her. "Fine fine, we'll do it for her 'happiness'. Jashin..."

"Well let's find them-" A small mew came from the ground. They two girls looked down and saw a small, fluffy, ink-colored kitten about the size of a watermelon mewing at them, making motions for them to follow it.

"I guess Sai got sick and tired of her yelling."

The two entered the room that they heard music coming from and saw Riri and Crissi sprawled on a small bed, munching on junk food.

"I see that Fluffy found you two."

Kris anime-fell. "Fluffy? Seriously?" Crissi shrugged.

"She wanted to name it The Undefeatable Death the Kitten, but I swayed her." Riri said through a mouth full of chocolates. Konan rolled her eyes as she laughed and plucked a strawberry form the pile of food.

"Well where's Oro-"

_**KABOOOOOM-A-DOOM-DOOM!**_

* * *

**Britt: OKAY DON'T KILL ME! Two updates in one night should kinda-sorta make up for my lack of updates...**

**I blame school...**

**Stupid question; how do you check how many hits a story has? Y'know, like views. I'm read stories where authors brag about how many hits their stories get...**

**I wanna be one of those authors T****T_TT**

**review please!**

**v**


	9. Chapter 9

The earth quaked, making the four girls tumble about, food and swears flying.

"Sonofabitch.." Konan cussed under her breath as she put her hair back in it's bun. Riri groaned as she nursed her head, Kris's knuckles white from hanging onto the doorframe.

Crissi growled as she ripped off her now ruined shirt and threw on a white cotton halter top that was tight in the chest area and came down to mid-thigh.

"I'm going to murder them..." Riri laughed, wincing as she did so, and threw Crissi's stuff at her and hooked her kunai and shuriken pouches on that were now on the ground.

Konan grabbed Riri and Crissi by their hands and leaned on Kris, changing them all into paper and letting the wind carry them out onto the newly made battlefield.

"NARUTO!" They heard Sakura yell as they all formed back into regular people, Kris shoved Konan off of her and Konan fell on to Riri, the two fell to their butts. The two on the ground glared

up at Kris as she dusted herself off.

Kris snorted and was about to say something when Pein, Tobi, Itachi, and Hidan all jumped in front of the girls and stopped Kakashi and Sakura from hitting us.

Itachi and Tobi glared at Kakashi who had about hit Kris full in the face if they hadn't stopped her. Pein had already broke Sakura's hand for about punching Konan, he turned to face the rest of the girls and glared at them, Kris expressialy. "This is a battle, what the hell do you think you are helping by standing there doing nothing?" Pein growled, but the girls were unfazed.

"Stop getting your panties in a bunch and-" Kris ducked as Naruto swung at her head and Kris rolled her eyes, spinning around and locking him in a headlock. Kris gave him a noogie. "I missed you too!" She started to pinch his cheeks and coo over how much he had grown all while he just stood there confused.

Kakashi was staring at us with his eyes slitted, arms hanging limply at his sides and a sweatdrop falling down his face. Sakura was glaring at Kris. The Akatsuki were smirking, Crissi and Riri were joining in with Kris on cooing over Naruto.

Crissi paused in her cooing. "Wait, why were you guys stalking us?"

It seemed as if the battle kept going as those who were not originally supposed to be their conversed.

Konan glared at Pein and the six others watched as sweat started to form on his brow.

"Paper bitch has power..." Hidan whispered to Kris.

"Yeah, but you shoulda been here about ten minutes ago. Crissi is all-powerful here just by association." Hidan stared at her like 'no fucking way'. "Way."

"Holy shit, I take back any-fucking-thing that I've said against bitches. Chicks know how to freaken whip our asses." Riri rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, whispered to Kakazu.

"It took him this long to figure that out?" Kakazu chuckled and shook his head. Crissi tugged on Riri's arm and started to whisper to her.

"Now way, she can't be. She just started to think about it... You think so? Maybe..."

"I seriously think she is... I'll have her take a test when we get to the base." Riri's eyes widened as Crissi waved a preggers test in front of her face.

"...Either you reeeeally want the pedo's kids, or you're prepared for everything."

Crissi glared at her like 'fix what you said, or else.' "I MEAN YOU'RE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING DON'T KILL ME!" Kris laughed, shrugging off Tobi who was hanging off her hips, hugging her. It was a hopeless cause because then Tobi just hugged her again, so she just let him do what he wanted.

"You guys are so weird." Kris grumbled, glaring at Tobi who still had his arms around her and was cooing over how pretty and long her hair was.

"Thank you." Crissi bowed as Riri did a curtsey.

Kris scoffed, turning her attention from Tobi, who was playing with her hair, to her sisters. "I find that to one of the most annoying aspects of you-" Tobi cut her off by yanking Kris to the side, just as Kakashi chidoried the spot.

"Kris-chan, you must be careful!" Tobi scolded, he wagged a finger in her face and she nipped it, Tobi pulled back his hand with a gasp. "What a naughty, naughty little Kris." The darker side of Tobi whispered in her ear, Kris's eyes widened.

Kris had a small blush appear on her face when Tobi called her a 'naughty, naughty little Kris', who the hell says that? Kris elbowed Tobi in the chest, "Shut it pumpkin face," She growled, Kris heard Tobi scoff, but he didn't say anything else that would possibly make Kris's hormones kick in. Not that he didn't have feelings for her, but in a battle with Konoha it might not have been the smartest idea to show his feelings toward Kris.

Crissi and Riri snickered and elbowed each other, pointing to Tobi and Kris and making kissy faces.

Konan sighed as Pein started to stutter and fidget. She turned to the others and shrugged.

"Let's just go to the base, it'll be easier to make Pein crack there." Pein's eyes widened and he get depression marks.

"AND PEIN IS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH UNTIL HE EXPLAINS HIMSELF!"

"...shit." Pein hit his head on a piece of rubble.

"B-b-b-but Orochimaru-" Crissi had a limp hand pointed at the sennin.

"B-b-but you can visit. Let's go, I wanna take a nap." Kris pulled on Crissi's arm as Riri pushed her lightly.

"I think I'm gunna cry." Crissi whined as she was being dragged away.

"I think I'm gunna fucking PUKE!" Hidan groaned and picked Crissi up, slinging her over his shoulder and heading back off to base.

"I think that's cue to get outta here." Kris laughed as she watched the fight end and Orochimaru's eyes started roaming the rubble for her sister. "Shit let's get out of here before he sees her. Hidan run like you're not immortal and Jashin wants to kill you!"

"I'm fucking running!"

Kris growled, "Then how about not like a girl?"

Hidan's head snapped back towards her. "Kris, I'll kill you." Said person smiled.

"I'm fully aware." Kris teased, Hidan fumed and Kris about fell when Tobi hopped on her back,

"WHAT THE-" Tobi's hand flew to cover her mouth.

"Shh, Kris-chan it's just Tobi." He sang happily into Kris's ear, she growled and threw Tobi off of her and on to Pein's back. Pein glared daggers into Kris as Tobi latched on to Pein. "WEEE!"

Tobi cheered.

Kris sighed, unless Tobi acted like the badass she knew he was, she wasn't going to live through the 13 years of living with him, Kakuzu, and Hidan in the base near Konoha. Well at least she would die of annoyance with Kakuzu...

With Team 7

"Sakura! Wait!" Kakashi called, grabbing her hand gently, Sakura spun around. Anger burned in her green eyes, her pink hair outlining her apple red face. She was trying hard not to cry. "Look, they're his sisters, Naruto wouldn't hurt them-"

Sakura cut him off, "He ran right in front of the Akatsuki, but they did nothing! Only his sisters, his sisters, touched him. They didn't even notice Naruto, Kakashi, why won't you believe me?! They have a weak spot for those girls!"

"Sakura," Kakashi sighed, "The Akatsuki are a batch of cold-hearted killers why would they care for the girls? They are only using them to get to Naruto. We need to un hypnotise them from the spell they are under-" Again Kakashi was interrupted.

"Kakashi, I know what I saw, when Kris looked at Tobi her eyes were filled with love it was the same way I look at you!" Sakura blushed, "When you talk like you do..." Kakashi was very shocked, so shocked in fact he dropped Sakura's hand, letting his fall limply to his side, his eyes wide.

"Y-you mean... that the girls... are... romantically in love with people in the Akatsuki?" Sakura nodded, blush still on her face. "We need to tell Lady Hokage about this." Kakashi stated turning to leave, but Sakura stopped him.

"What about Naruto, these are his sisters, some of his only family. I think we need to tell him." Kakashi looked over his shoulder at Sakura, Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine, we'll tell Naruto that his sisters are banging that Akatsuki..."" Kakashi grumbled, Sakura punched him in the arm, making Kakashi wince. "Ow, okay sorry, Naruto will be told that his sisters are... mating?" Sakura glared at him and he sighed. "Why don't you just tell him?"

"Because she doesn't need to," Naruto muttered darkly, stepping from behind the tree, his blue eyes showed anger, fierce anger. "I heard."

"N-Naruto!" Sakura stuttered, she turned to him and took a step forward, "I was going to tell-" Sakura's eyes met with Naruto's angered ones, making her go silent as she bowed her head. "I'm sorry... Naruto... I know you loved-"

"Loved?! LOVED?!" Naruto bellowed, his face starting to turn red. "I FIND OUT I HAVE SISTERS AND THE NEXT FUCKING DAY THEY ARE HANGING OUT WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANT ME KILLED? YOU CALL THAT LOVE?!" Naruto yelled, his eyes starting to turn red, whiskers turning darker. Naruto let out a growl of anger and punched the tree next to him his eyes brimming in red.

"Sakura!" Kakashi yelled and Naruto lunged at her.

With the girls & Akatsuki

Crissi's head snapped up, not caring that her torso muscles screamed at her from Hidan's shoulder, and let out a loud, feral growl.

Riri's eyes were wide and Kris nodded at Crissi, who was clawing to get out of Hidan's grip. Crissi went limp, and next thing you knew, Hidan was carrying nothing but air.

"Where'd she go! We gotta find her!" Konan started to panick. Konan gasped as she looked at Riri and Kris, both of them had their eyes slitted and Riri was putting slight pressure on her tailbone while Kris was leisurely filing her fast-growing nails.

"Leave her be. If one of us doesn't go, then we'll all lose control. She just loses it quicker."

"What in the world do you mean?"

Riri purred as she answered Konan's question, "We have some of the Kyuubi's ehem.. traits, to say the least."

With Crissi

'Stupid gaki! Can't keep his cool for one day!' Crissi thought as she tore through the greenery.

'He takes after you girls on that one.'

'Fuck off Ami, I don't wanna hear it.' Crissi tore through a tree that was in her way as her skin started to tingle harsher. 'I'm close...'

She landed with a loud thud, grabbed Naruto's hand and flung him away from Sakura.

"So sorry brother, but you see, I promised Kris the pleasure of killing that one." Crissi's voice was like a cat's purr, a trait like the slitted pupils that the three sisters shared.

"HOW DARE YOU! I MEET YOU AND YOU TELL ME YOU'RE MY SISTERS, AND THEN YOU GO WITH THEM! AND EVEN WORSE, YOU WERE WITH THE SNAKE-BASTARD!"

Crissi's skin felt like it was burning, scorching with heat. Chakra leaked out of her pores as an aura surrounded her.

"Naruto..." She growled.

'Whoa cowboy! Calm yourself! I don't wanna have to be in a hospital after this!' Ami freaked out, hiding behind a monotone barack with an army helmet on in Crissi's clouded mind.

Crissi felt a pin prick at her tailbone and knew that Riri has just grown a tail, her fingers felt like bamboo was being shoved under her nails and her teeth ached, so Kris must have gotten her claws and fangs. She took a deep breath and straightened from her crouch, still in her Kyuubi-like state.

"Naruto, please, calm down so we can talk." She said as if Naruto was nothing but a toddler.

Sakura shivered as she hid behind Kakashi. "She's like him... But how...?"

"I don't know Sakura..." Crissi grinned at the slight fear in Kakashi's voice, but kept her mind focused.

"Naruto, come here." Crissi held her arms out slightly, but jumped back as Naruto swiped at her.

"THAT'S FUCKING IT YOU GAKI! DIDN'T YOU LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR ELDERS? THAT'S IT! TSUKUYOMI MUTATE!" Naruto was suddenly in the world of the Tsukuyomi, but then it seemed as if it warped and stretched and he was standing in front of the Kyuubi's cage.

"Now, let's talk. But first..." Naruto turned to Crissi and saw her moving her hand like a wave, and felt the Kyuubi's chakra be blocked off from his reaches.

"What did you do!"

"Calm down kit, your sister just wants to speak with you." Kyuubi grumbled behind the bars as he turned and laid down like a cat.

"But she's with the-!" Crissi rolled her eyes and threw a hand over the blonde's mouth.

"Y'know, you're going after the man who you love as if he was your blood brother, yet your sisters can't go after the people who they love as lovers?"

"Not when the people you like are trying to kill me!" Crissi sighed as she stared at him.

"You seriously think that we would let them hurt you? Seriously man, you need some more brain cells. We love them, they're our OTHER family, and by us being close to them, they wouldn't dare hurt you, because we'd murder them with sporks. Baka Gaki brother." She knocked against his forehead with two curled fingers with an eyes-closed smile. Naruto stared at her with wide eyes, slightly shaking. Crissi slowly opened her eyes and lowered her hand. With that hand she made a waving motion and a fuzzy image of Kris and Riri appeared.

"Their from our subtle link with them. Since we each have a bit of Kyuubi in us, you more so, and since I have an uncanny knack for genjutsu and mindfuckery, I can communicate with them, though it is very tiring and can only be maintained for at most, five minutes." She turned to him with a goofy grin. "I didn't use too big of words, did I?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, I actually understood that..."

Crissi smiled, "Good."

"Naruto!" Riri screamed. "I swear to God when I get my hands on you I'll hurt you. Right now I have about four ninjas touching me, holding me back, trying to keep me from hurting anyone. I'll kill you."

"I-I'm sorry." Naruto said softly.

"You better be! The ninjas a fucking picking me up! OFF BITCHES! KISAME! KISAME! STOP IT!"

Naruto jumped at the name, and how she used it so casually. It bothered him - a lot.

Kris's face was blank, "Tobi... is..." Kris fainted with a bloody nose.

"EWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWW! TOBI GET SOME CLOTHES ON!" Riri screeched. "I don't care that Deidara blew you up!" She exclaimed, not as loud, seeing as how Crissi and Naruto were holding their ears and Kurama was glaring at her, even Kris had twitched in her sleep.

Naruto growled, "You mean there is a man who just flashed MY SISTERS!?" Naruto bellowed. "I'll kill the bastard!" Naruto pushed his sleeve up his arm, Crissi chuckled nervously as a sweat drop fell down the side of her face and grabbed his arm.

"No need, Naruto." Crissi said, patting Naruto's arm. "We're all adults there, it's a common thing for them to act stupid when there is no need to be serious." Crissi explained.

"You shouldn't have told him that..." Riri said. "Wha, oh she just said that you guys are only serious when you want to be... Oh... Heheh... Okay... Yeah, Crissi... Okay, Crissi Leader said that if you say something like that again he is going to shove you off a cliff."

Crissi snorted, "Tell him not to use his push and pull powers..." Crissi broke out laughing and Riri blushed, Naruto looked at them, clueless of the perverted joke Crissi had told them.

"He said he is going to kill you, so be ready." Riri laughed when Crissi paled.

"He's not serious." Criss countered.

"I beg to differ Crissi..." Riri answered. "He looks so pissed- AH! BACK AWAY! EWWWW! TOBI GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT A HUG!"

Kris' mouth twitched into a little smile. Crissi rolled her eyes and rubbed her temple as the communication took a tole on her.

"Oh no, don't you dare hang up on me Crissi-!" Naruto smiled a little as the two images of his sisters flashed out and Crissi let out a breath of relief.

"Damn, they can give one hell of a headache..." Crissi muttered, she turned to a now beaming Naruto. "What the hell are you so happy about?" Crissi grumbled, rubbing her throbbing head.

"I just got your joke..." Naruto answered, creepy grin on his face, he stuck a shaky finger at Crissi, "You're a pervert..."

With Kris and Riri

"TOBI!" *BOOM* "GET BACK HERE!" *BOOM* "I'LL BLOW YOU TO" *BOOM* "BITE SIZE" *BOOM* "PIECES!" Deidara roared, throwing yet another bomb at Tobi.

"Why is Sempai so mean to Tobi? Tobi only wanted to hug Kris-Chan!" Tobi wailed, running away from bombs that Deidara sent flying at him, he was still naked. Deidara just growled and threw another bomb at him.

Kris moaned at hearing her name and sat up, rubbing her head. "What happened, all I remember is Tobi..." Kris trailed off as a small blush formed on her face as she stared at Tobi's naked person and oogled at how you could see his muscles move with every move he made. When someone kicked her she fell out of her trance and looked up to Riri. Kris cleared her throat, "Riri, I have to ask, why is-" Kris was interrupted by Tobi who, in his birthday suit and all, pounced on her, making her to where she was lying on her back with him on top of her. Kris stared wide-eyed at him, like a deer in the headlights, stunned. Then her eyes travled from his orange face to the lower parts of his body. Tobi didn't notice that though.

Tobi started to rub his face lovingly against Kris's cheek, while cooing, "Sorry Kris-Chan, Tobi didn't mean for you to faint, but Tobi has to ask." He pulled back and tilted his head, "Why was there blood coming from you nose?" Kris's eye twitched but again her face was blank. "Kris?" Tobi asked, waving a hand in her face. Kris's face turned a dark shade of red before she had yet another bloody nose and passed out again. "Heh? Ah! NUUU! I BROKE KRIS-CHAN AGAIN!" Tobi screamed shaking Kris by her shoulders, her head bobbing back and forth.

Riri punted Tobi off of Kris. "Don't do that, you pervert!" She growled. Two blue arms wrapped around her waist and hoisted her on Kisame's shoulders. Riri squealed and wrapped her legs tightly around Kisame's chest. "K-Kisame! I don't like heights!"

Kisame chuckled a rumbly chuckle, "Yeah? Well I think we need to make sure Kris doesn't lose any more blood and if Tobi tackle hugs you, I want to be ready to kill him." The last part of Kisame's words was more like a growl then his regular rumbly voice. I mentally cooed at that.

"What about Kris?" Riri asked, looking down at her sleeping sister, whose nose had a trail of blood coming from it. "I have never seen her blush that hard before..." Riri said, amazement in her voice.

Kisame snorted, "I didn't know she could blush." Riri slapped him in the back of the head, "Sorry, anyway Sasori has her." Riri looked down again to see a blur land next to Kris, stopping only long enough to pick her up, nod at Kisa and Riri, then become a blur again.

"...That is one fast puppet."

"TRUE STORY BRO!" Kris yelled, though she was still passed out, from her room where Sasori had put her.

Riri laughed "Well, her Rage Comic Reflex still works."

"Rage what? Is that another one of her dirty-" Riri slapped Kisame again.

"Rage comics, is a comic strip that has funny things on it. None of it is dirty."

"...None of it?" Riri heaved a heavy sigh. 'Men...' She thought. 'But at least he has blue hair...'

"Let meh go, would ya?" Riri said randomly, squirming around. He let her go and she clung to him for a moment before letting go and running off. "CRISSI! CRISSI!" She screamed, looking around. "I don't like hide and seek! Come out and play with me! PIGGYBACK!"

"GO THE HELL AWAY!" Kris screamed.

"NEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR! PIGGYBACK!"

"GET THE FUK OFF OF ME! YOU BITCH! GET THE HELL OFF!"

"OWW! Grr... TOBI! GET HER! AHHHHH- NOT ME! NOT ME!" There was a loud, high pitch scream and Riri ran back down the hallway, full speed at Kisame, who stood there with his head tilted slightly to the side, confused at what was going on. "KISAME! HELP ME!" Kisame smirked and waited until she was right in front of him before he grabbed her arm, and jerked her sideways a little, then pulled her behind him, his other arm shooting back to stop her from falling. "Woah..." Murmured Riri, she was dazed for a second before and smiled.

Tobi flashed in front of him and then Kisame punted him across the room, right into Kris, who had another bloody nose, but this time it was just because when Tobi flew into her she smacked her face on the wall and broke her nose.

"AH! Tobi is soooooo sorry Kris-chan!"

"Shut up, Tobi." Kris sighed, not in the mood to yell, seeing that she also had a migraine and was drowsy from sleeping so much, not to mention the blood lose.

Tobi chuckled and patted her back, but he didn't say anything. Kris had a feeling that if he would have said something then she would have killed him.

"Yay! Kisame!" Riri cheered happily, earning a glare from Kris and a smile from the blue man.

"Anytime." Kisame muttered.

"Riri," Kris growled. "Come here. I want to tell you something."

But Kris didn't get to even start her sentence as the room shook, a human-sized chunk of wall hitting the wall opposite. Everyone blinked and stared at the piece of wall, noticing that it was twitching. Within the rubble was a four-eyed nerd.

"Kabuto?" Kris questioned as the man smiled, saying that he saw pretty birdies.

"I told ya it'd work, didn't I?" A figure walked in through the dust and everyone in the room tensed except for the Uzumaki's and the crippled Kabuto. That figure was Orochimaru giving Crissi a piggyback ride, a small bengel tiger cub the size of a four week old kitten, Yuki, on the girl's head.

"UGH!" Kris groaned and pointed that the snake, "Why didn't you throw yourself? Now he might turn as stupid as HIM!" Kris shouted, pointing at Tobi.

"WHAAA!" Tobi lunged at Kris and tackle hugged her to the floor, "SAY YOU LOVE TOBI! SAY IT!" He cried a whine in his voice making it go higher than it was.

"NEVER, JACKASS! AND GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

"NU!"

"Grr." Kris glared holes into his eye ask Tobi crushed her in a hug. "Idiot."

Riri was fazed for a moment before screaming, "TOBI'S A MOLESTER! RAPIST! GET OFF! GET OFF! KRIS! KRIS!" Looking flustered, Riri flung herself at the two but Tobi jumped off, speaking in fast sentences that mushed together, and didn't make sense. She landed on Kris' body with an 'umph!' and then smiled. "SISSY! I SAVED YOU! I DID IT! HURRAY!"

"Don't sing that damn song, you bitch." Kris muttered, shoving Riri off of her and then standing up. She eyed Tobi thoughtfully and then said, "Took you long enough. Just ask; I don't like it when people don't ask for permission. Plus, not in public, you embarrass yourself to easily there. Try in private. Then I can be the only one doing it." She winked at Tobi, and she saw the red eye that flashed, twitch at the suggestion.

"If it's in private how can you know what's going on?" Tobi asked cluelessly, even though Kris could tell he was radiating with annoyance.

"Well, since you're a molester, I just decided to be a stalker. Remember, I'll be watching you."

Riri looked at both of them, her mouth open. "Kris broke, she sounds off. Smarter in a way." She pointed to Tobi. "He did it."

"Um, hey! I get a piggyback ride and I make a great scene just to be ignored?!" Crissi exclaimed form Orochimaru's back.

Kris looked at her and smiled, "Hello. How are you? Are you saying you don't want to be 'secretly' ogling over him, or do you want us to give you a moment?"

Crissi's mouth dropped open and almost hit the floor. "I wasn't ogling! I was just.. just... just looking at his eyes!" Her voice lowered and she assured herself, "Yep. His eyes."

"Crissi, I'll label you a molester as well. Just you don't really touch that often, more like squeeze." Kris said thoughtfully. Crissi's mouth again dropped to the floor and she looked about ready to scream. But in good measure, Riri snickered.

"Oh Crissi you're so screwed," Riri laughed. Kisame walked over to her and held out his hand.

"Here." He said softly, and Riri took it, still laughing. He pulled her up easily and she leaned on him, not even really noticing how pathetic she looked. Kris and Crissi stared at her with wide eyes as she laughed, for real, for the first time. It was a nerdish laugh that made them want to smile. In a way, it made them feel better, and they didn't know why. Usually they would make a gross face if someone laughed like that, but hearing it from Riri with such a genuine spark to it, seemed to throw that other feeling out the window.

"He-he-huh! He-he huh!" She laughed, wheezing a little. Kisame looked puzzled, yet slightly amused. She gasped and then tried to calm herself, but that didn't work. "You," she wheezed, "should see." She wheezed again and then let out a loud laugh. "your faces!" She smiled and leaned all of her weight on Kisame, who raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. "You look so stupid!" He panted and then snickered again. "Tobi left by the way. I think I scared him." She giggled and then turned and hugged Kisame. "I need a hug. My chest hurts."

"I'll hug you anytime." Kisame whispered. Riri nodded and accepted the fact he wasn't going to hug back. That was fine. As long as he didn't kill her, she was good.

"You know, you guys are just so dysfunctional, that it kind of makes it hard to think of you guys as criminals. I mean, of course Pein-sama, Konan, Itachi, Zetsu, Crissi, the weird pale guy and now Kris are pretty serious, but other than that, I don't get it."

Kisame shrugged, "Well, we work whenever he needs us to work. We just kill."

"Doesn't it feel weird to kill?" She asked, looking up at him.

He shrugged, "Well not really. Being a shark as I am, blood gets me excited. So, yes a little, but that always fades." To this Riri thought some perverted thoughts, but kept them to herself, not wanting to embarrass them both.

"Where'd the masked bimbo go?" Crissi asked, looking around. "I swear the orange pain in the ass was just here!"

Kris smiled, "Oh Crissi, he can only be a pain in the ass if-" A gloved hand covered her mouth perfected executing any type of sound she was to make.

Madara's deep and enchanting voice whispered, "Don't finish that sentence, or you will have to face the consequences." Then in his Tobi voice he said, "People shouldn't talk about other people. That's just mean!" He uncovered her mouth and she turned and hugged him.

"I missed you - even if you were gone for less than ten minutes!" She exclaimed, then whispered in his ear, "Don't tempt me. Why are you bribing me anyway? I like consequences, care to do it in private?"

His body tensed, but he hugged her back and cheered, "Tobi missed you too, Kris-Chan~!" He then whispered, "You are a dirty, dirty girl. But don't jump to conclusions. I can't guarantee you would like them."

"Try me." She challenged and then head butted him. She laughed and then tried to move away from him, but he had her pinned to him. "Oh yeah." Kris sighed. "Damnit..."

"TOBI DIDN"T DO ANYTHING! EXPLAIN TO TOBI WHAT HE DID!" Tobi yelled in her ear, fake anime tears running down his eyes as he somehow managed to hug her even closer to his body. Kris was having a hard time trying to think straight when all she could do was feel his body so close and the heat that came from him, it was a good thing she had a little bit of self control... While Kris was fighting an internal battle Tobi screamed, "TOBI NEEDS TO KNOW!"

"TOBI'S A BITCH!" Riri yelled,then turned way so she could glare at the weird pale guy and then snatched Crissi from him. Riri turned to said Crissi, "Do you know why Pein-sama and Konan aren't here yet?"

"Since when do you call Pein, Pein-sama?" Cirris asked.

"Ever since I remembered he could kill me easily." Riri admitted with a smile.

"He can kill me too but I don't-" Riri cut her off.

"You have a freaking snake-dude protecting you." They both stared at Orochimaru, who raised an eyebrow at them.

"Touche, my dear sister, touche."

"Leave Iruka outta this." Riri snapped comically.

"Why? He is fun to annoy." Crissi said as if the brunette was being ridiculous.

"Well, yeah, but- Where did Tobi and Kris go?" Riri asked suddenly, looking around.

"I don't know..." Crissi trailed off then looked at Kisame then at Snake-Bite (she still called him that) and they both shrugged. "Well you guys were sure helpful," Crissi muttered.

"I think they went that way," Slurred someone on the floor, Riri screamed and jumped into Kisame's arms and Crissi put on a 'WTF' face as she stared at Kabuto.

"What... the... FUCK!" Crissi screamed, "Have you have been there the whole fucking time?"

"Y-yeah," Kabuto answered, not really sure as to why Crissi was screaming.

"Why haven't you said anything then?" Crissi shouted, giving him the 'what the hell is your problem' look.

"Uh, I was sort of knocked out because you threw me into the bloody wall so you could get in!" Kabuto shouted, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah, I kinda, maybe, sorta forgot about that." Crissi said, "Heh, sorry?"

"...I hate you..."


	10. Chapter 10

The earth quaked, making the four girls tumble about, food and swears flying.

"Sonofabitch.." Konan cussed under her breath as she put her hair back in it's bun. Riri groaned as she nursed her head, Kris's knuckles white from hanging onto the doorframe.

Crissi growled as she ripped off her now ruined shirt and threw on a white cotton halter top that was tight in the chest area and came down to mid-thigh.

"I'm going to murder them..." Riri laughed, wincing as she did so, and threw Crissi's stuff at her and hooked her kunai and shuriken pouches on that were now on the ground.

Konan grabbed Riri and Crissi by their hands and leaned on Kris, changing them all into paper and letting the wind carry them out onto the newly made battlefield.

"NARUTO!" They heard Sakura yell as they all formed back into regular people, Kris shoved Konan off of her and Konan fell on to Riri, the two fell to their butts. The two on the ground glared

up at Kris as she dusted herself off.

Kris snorted and was about to say something when Pein, Tobi, Itachi, and Hidan all jumped in front of the girls and stopped Kakashi and Sakura from hitting us.

Itachi and Tobi glared at Kakashi who had about hit Kris full in the face if they hadn't stopped her. Pein had already broke Sakura's hand for about punching Konan, he turned to face the rest of the girls and glared at them, Kris expressialy. "This is a battle, what the hell do you think you are helping by standing there doing nothing?" Pein growled, but the girls were unfazed.

"Stop getting your panties in a bunch and-" Kris ducked as Naruto swung at her head and Kris rolled her eyes, spinning around and locking him in a headlock. Kris gave him a noogie. "I missed you too!" She started to pinch his cheeks and coo over how much he had grown all while he just stood there confused.

Kakashi was staring at us with his eyes slitted, arms hanging limply at his sides and a sweatdrop falling down his face. Sakura was glaring at Kris. The Akatsuki were smirking, Crissi and Riri were joining in with Kris on cooing over Naruto.

Crissi paused in her cooing. "Wait, why were you guys stalking us?"

It seemed as if the battle kept going as those who were not originally supposed to be their conversed.

Konan glared at Pein and the six others watched as sweat started to form on his brow.

"Paper bitch has power..." Hidan whispered to Kris.

"Yeah, but you shoulda been here about ten minutes ago. Crissi is all-powerful here just by association." Hidan stared at her like 'no fucking way'. "Way."

"Holy shit, I take back any-fucking-thing that I've said against bitches. Chicks know how to freaken whip our asses." Riri rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, whispered to Kakazu.

"It took him this long to figure that out?" Kakazu chuckled and shook his head. Crissi tugged on Riri's arm and started to whisper to her.

"Now way, she can't be. She just started to think about it... You think so? Maybe..."

"I seriously think she is... I'll have her take a test when we get to the base." Riri's eyes widened as Crissi waved a preggers test in front of her face.

"...Either you reeeeally want the pedo's kids, or you're prepared for everything."

Crissi glared at her like 'fix what you said, or else.' "I MEAN YOU'RE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING DON'T KILL ME!" Kris laughed, shrugging off Tobi who was hanging off her hips, hugging her. It was a hopeless cause because then Tobi just hugged her again, so she just let him do what he wanted.

"You guys are so weird." Kris grumbled, glaring at Tobi who still had his arms around her and was cooing over how pretty and long her hair was.

"Thank you." Crissi bowed as Riri did a curtsey.

Kris scoffed, turning her attention from Tobi, who was playing with her hair, to her sisters. "I find that to one of the most annoying aspects of you-" Tobi cut her off by yanking Kris to the side, just as Kakashi chidoried the spot.

"Kris-chan, you must be careful!" Tobi scolded, he wagged a finger in her face and she nipped it, Tobi pulled back his hand with a gasp. "What a naughty, naughty little Kris." The darker side of Tobi whispered in her ear, Kris's eyes widened.

Kris had a small blush appear on her face when Tobi called her a 'naughty, naughty little Kris', who the hell says that? Kris elbowed Tobi in the chest, "Shut it pumpkin face," She growled, Kris heard Tobi scoff, but he didn't say anything else that would possibly make Kris's hormones kick in. Not that he didn't have feelings for her, but in a battle with Konoha it might not have been the smartest idea to show his feelings toward Kris.

Crissi and Riri snickered and elbowed each other, pointing to Tobi and Kris and making kissy faces.

Konan sighed as Pein started to stutter and fidget. She turned to the others and shrugged.

"Let's just go to the base, it'll be easier to make Pein crack there." Pein's eyes widened and he get depression marks.

"AND PEIN IS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH UNTIL HE EXPLAINS HIMSELF!"

"...shit." Pein hit his head on a piece of rubble.

"B-b-b-but Orochimaru-" Crissi had a limp hand pointed at the sennin.

"B-b-but you can visit. Let's go, I wanna take a nap." Kris pulled on Crissi's arm as Riri pushed her lightly.

"I think I'm gunna cry." Crissi whined as she was being dragged away.

"I think I'm gunna fucking PUKE!" Hidan groaned and picked Crissi up, slinging her over his shoulder and heading back off to base.

"I think that's cue to get outta here." Kris laughed as she watched the fight end and Orochimaru's eyes started roaming the rubble for her sister. "Shit let's get out of here before he sees her. Hidan run like you're not immortal and Jashin wants to kill you!"

"I'm fucking running!"

Kris growled, "Then how about not like a girl?"

Hidan's head snapped back towards her. "Kris, I'll kill you." Said person smiled.

"I'm fully aware." Kris teased, Hidan fumed and Kris about fell when Tobi hopped on her back,

"WHAT THE-" Tobi's hand flew to cover her mouth.

"Shh, Kris-chan it's just Tobi." He sang happily into Kris's ear, she growled and threw Tobi off of her and on to Pein's back. Pein glared daggers into Kris as Tobi latched on to Pein. "WEEE!"

Tobi cheered.

Kris sighed, unless Tobi acted like the badass she knew he was, she wasn't going to live through the 13 years of living with him, Kakuzu, and Hidan in the base near Konoha. Well at least she would die of annoyance with Kakuzu...

With Team 7

"Sakura! Wait!" Kakashi called, grabbing her hand gently, Sakura spun around. Anger burned in her green eyes, her pink hair outlining her apple red face. She was trying hard not to cry. "Look, they're his sisters, Naruto wouldn't hurt them-"

Sakura cut him off, "He ran right in front of the Akatsuki, but they did nothing! Only his sisters, his sisters, touched him. They didn't even notice Naruto, Kakashi, why won't you believe me?! They have a weak spot for those girls!"

"Sakura," Kakashi sighed, "The Akatsuki are a batch of cold-hearted killers why would they care for the girls? They are only using them to get to Naruto. We need to un hypnotise them from the spell they are under-" Again Kakashi was interrupted.

"Kakashi, I know what I saw, when Kris looked at Tobi her eyes were filled with love it was the same way I look at you!" Sakura blushed, "When you talk like you do..." Kakashi was very shocked, so shocked in fact he dropped Sakura's hand, letting his fall limply to his side, his eyes wide.

"Y-you mean... that the girls... are... romantically in love with people in the Akatsuki?" Sakura nodded, blush still on her face. "We need to tell Lady Hokage about this." Kakashi stated turning to leave, but Sakura stopped him.

"What about Naruto, these are his sisters, some of his only family. I think we need to tell him." Kakashi looked over his shoulder at Sakura, Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine, we'll tell Naruto that his sisters are banging that Akatsuki..."" Kakashi grumbled, Sakura punched him in the arm, making Kakashi wince. "Ow, okay sorry, Naruto will be told that his sisters are... mating?" Sakura glared at him and he sighed. "Why don't you just tell him?"

"Because she doesn't need to," Naruto muttered darkly, stepping from behind the tree, his blue eyes showed anger, fierce anger. "I heard."

"N-Naruto!" Sakura stuttered, she turned to him and took a step forward, "I was going to tell-" Sakura's eyes met with Naruto's angered ones, making her go silent as she bowed her head. "I'm sorry... Naruto... I know you loved-"

"Loved?! LOVED?!" Naruto bellowed, his face starting to turn red. "I FIND OUT I HAVE SISTERS AND THE NEXT FUCKING DAY THEY ARE HANGING OUT WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANT ME KILLED? YOU CALL THAT LOVE?!" Naruto yelled, his eyes starting to turn red, whiskers turning darker. Naruto let out a growl of anger and punched the tree next to him his eyes brimming in red.

"Sakura!" Kakashi yelled and Naruto lunged at her.

With the girls & Akatsuki

Crissi's head snapped up, not caring that her torso muscles screamed at her from Hidan's shoulder, and let out a loud, feral growl.

Riri's eyes were wide and Kris nodded at Crissi, who was clawing to get out of Hidan's grip. Crissi went limp, and next thing you knew, Hidan was carrying nothing but air.

"Where'd she go! We gotta find her!" Konan started to panick. Konan gasped as she looked at Riri and Kris, both of them had their eyes slitted and Riri was putting slight pressure on her tailbone while Kris was leisurely filing her fast-growing nails.

"Leave her be. If one of us doesn't go, then we'll all lose control. She just loses it quicker."

"What in the world do you mean?"

Riri purred as she answered Konan's question, "We have some of the Kyuubi's ehem.. traits, to say the least."

With Crissi

'Stupid gaki! Can't keep his cool for one day!' Crissi thought as she tore through the greenery.

'He takes after you girls on that one.'

'Fuck off Ami, I don't wanna hear it.' Crissi tore through a tree that was in her way as her skin started to tingle harsher. 'I'm close...'

She landed with a loud thud, grabbed Naruto's hand and flung him away from Sakura.

"So sorry brother, but you see, I promised Kris the pleasure of killing that one." Crissi's voice was like a cat's purr, a trait like the slitted pupils that the three sisters shared.

"HOW DARE YOU! I MEET YOU AND YOU TELL ME YOU'RE MY SISTERS, AND THEN YOU GO WITH THEM! AND EVEN WORSE, YOU WERE WITH THE SNAKE-BASTARD!"

Crissi's skin felt like it was burning, scorching with heat. Chakra leaked out of her pores as an aura surrounded her.

"Naruto..." She growled.

'Whoa cowboy! Calm yourself! I don't wanna have to be in a hospital after this!' Ami freaked out, hiding behind a monotone barack with an army helmet on in Crissi's clouded mind.

Crissi felt a pin prick at her tailbone and knew that Riri has just grown a tail, her fingers felt like bamboo was being shoved under her nails and her teeth ached, so Kris must have gotten her claws and fangs. She took a deep breath and straightened from her crouch, still in her Kyuubi-like state.

"Naruto, please, calm down so we can talk." She said as if Naruto was nothing but a toddler.

Sakura shivered as she hid behind Kakashi. "She's like him... But how...?"

"I don't know Sakura..." Crissi grinned at the slight fear in Kakashi's voice, but kept her mind focused.

"Naruto, come here." Crissi held her arms out slightly, but jumped back as Naruto swiped at her.

"THAT'S FUCKING IT YOU GAKI! DIDN'T YOU LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR ELDERS? THAT'S IT! TSUKUYOMI MUTATE!" Naruto was suddenly in the world of the Tsukuyomi, but then it seemed as if it warped and stretched and he was standing in front of the Kyuubi's cage.

"Now, let's talk. But first..." Naruto turned to Crissi and saw her moving her hand like a wave, and felt the Kyuubi's chakra be blocked off from his reaches.

"What did you do!"

"Calm down kit, your sister just wants to speak with you." Kyuubi grumbled behind the bars as he turned and laid down like a cat.

"But she's with the-!" Crissi rolled her eyes and threw a hand over the blonde's mouth.

"Y'know, you're going after the man who you love as if he was your blood brother, yet your sisters can't go after the people who they love as lovers?"

"Not when the people you like are trying to kill me!" Crissi sighed as she stared at him.

"You seriously think that we would let them hurt you? Seriously man, you need some more brain cells. We love them, they're our OTHER family, and by us being close to them, they wouldn't dare hurt you, because we'd murder them with sporks. Baka Gaki brother." She knocked against his forehead with two curled fingers with an eyes-closed smile. Naruto stared at her with wide eyes, slightly shaking. Crissi slowly opened her eyes and lowered her hand. With that hand she made a waving motion and a fuzzy image of Kris and Riri appeared.

"Their from our subtle link with them. Since we each have a bit of Kyuubi in us, you more so, and since I have an uncanny knack for genjutsu and mindfuckery, I can communicate with them, though it is very tiring and can only be maintained for at most, five minutes." She turned to him with a goofy grin. "I didn't use too big of words, did I?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, I actually understood that..."

Crissi smiled, "Good."

"Naruto!" Riri screamed. "I swear to God when I get my hands on you I'll hurt you. Right now I have about four ninjas touching me, holding me back, trying to keep me from hurting anyone. I'll kill you."

"I-I'm sorry." Naruto said softly.

"You better be! The ninjas a fucking picking me up! OFF BITCHES! KISAME! KISAME! STOP IT!"

Naruto jumped at the name, and how she used it so casually. It bothered him - a lot.

Kris's face was blank, "Tobi... is..." Kris fainted with a bloody nose.

"EWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWW! TOBI GET SOME CLOTHES ON!" Riri screeched. "I don't care that Deidara blew you up!" She exclaimed, not as loud, seeing as how Crissi and Naruto were holding their ears and Kurama was glaring at her, even Kris had twitched in her sleep.

Naruto growled, "You mean there is a man who just flashed MY SISTERS!?" Naruto bellowed. "I'll kill the bastard!" Naruto pushed his sleeve up his arm, Crissi chuckled nervously as a sweat drop fell down the side of her face and grabbed his arm.

"No need, Naruto." Crissi said, patting Naruto's arm. "We're all adults there, it's a common thing for them to act stupid when there is no need to be serious." Crissi explained.

"You shouldn't have told him that..." Riri said. "Wha, oh she just said that you guys are only serious when you want to be... Oh... Heheh... Okay... Yeah, Crissi... Okay, Crissi Leader said that if you say something like that again he is going to shove you off a cliff."

Crissi snorted, "Tell him not to use his push and pull powers..." Crissi broke out laughing and Riri blushed, Naruto looked at them, clueless of the perverted joke Crissi had told them.

"He said he is going to kill you, so be ready." Riri laughed when Crissi paled.

"He's not serious." Criss countered.

"I beg to differ Crissi..." Riri answered. "He looks so pissed- AH! BACK AWAY! EWWWW! TOBI GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT A HUG!"

Kris' mouth twitched into a little smile. Crissi rolled her eyes and rubbed her temple as the communication took a tole on her.

"Oh no, don't you dare hang up on me Crissi-!" Naruto smiled a little as the two images of his sisters flashed out and Crissi let out a breath of relief.

"Damn, they can give one hell of a headache..." Crissi muttered, she turned to a now beaming Naruto. "What the hell are you so happy about?" Crissi grumbled, rubbing her throbbing head.

"I just got your joke..." Naruto answered, creepy grin on his face, he stuck a shaky finger at Crissi, "You're a pervert..."

With Kris and Riri

"TOBI!" *BOOM* "GET BACK HERE!" *BOOM* "I'LL BLOW YOU TO" *BOOM* "BITE SIZE" *BOOM* "PIECES!" Deidara roared, throwing yet another bomb at Tobi.

"Why is Sempai so mean to Tobi? Tobi only wanted to hug Kris-Chan!" Tobi wailed, running away from bombs that Deidara sent flying at him, he was still naked. Deidara just growled and threw another bomb at him.

Kris moaned at hearing her name and sat up, rubbing her head. "What happened, all I remember is Tobi..." Kris trailed off as a small blush formed on her face as she stared at Tobi's naked person and oogled at how you could see his muscles move with every move he made. When someone kicked her she fell out of her trance and looked up to Riri. Kris cleared her throat, "Riri, I have to ask, why is-" Kris was interrupted by Tobi who, in his birthday suit and all, pounced on her, making her to where she was lying on her back with him on top of her. Kris stared wide-eyed at him, like a deer in the headlights, stunned. Then her eyes travled from his orange face to the lower parts of his body. Tobi didn't notice that though.

Tobi started to rub his face lovingly against Kris's cheek, while cooing, "Sorry Kris-Chan, Tobi didn't mean for you to faint, but Tobi has to ask." He pulled back and tilted his head, "Why was there blood coming from you nose?" Kris's eye twitched but again her face was blank. "Kris?" Tobi asked, waving a hand in her face. Kris's face turned a dark shade of red before she had yet another bloody nose and passed out again. "Heh? Ah! NUUU! I BROKE KRIS-CHAN AGAIN!" Tobi screamed shaking Kris by her shoulders, her head bobbing back and forth.

Riri punted Tobi off of Kris. "Don't do that, you pervert!" She growled. Two blue arms wrapped around her waist and hoisted her on Kisame's shoulders. Riri squealed and wrapped her legs tightly around Kisame's chest. "K-Kisame! I don't like heights!"

Kisame chuckled a rumbly chuckle, "Yeah? Well I think we need to make sure Kris doesn't lose any more blood and if Tobi tackle hugs you, I want to be ready to kill him." The last part of Kisame's words was more like a growl then his regular rumbly voice. I mentally cooed at that.

"What about Kris?" Riri asked, looking down at her sleeping sister, whose nose had a trail of blood coming from it. "I have never seen her blush that hard before..." Riri said, amazement in her voice.

Kisame snorted, "I didn't know she could blush." Riri slapped him in the back of the head, "Sorry, anyway Sasori has her." Riri looked down again to see a blur land next to Kris, stopping only long enough to pick her up, nod at Kisa and Riri, then become a blur again.

"...That is one fast puppet."

"TRUE STORY BRO!" Kris yelled, though she was still passed out, from her room where Sasori had put her.

Riri laughed "Well, her Rage Comic Reflex still works."

"Rage what? Is that another one of her dirty-" Riri slapped Kisame again.

"Rage comics, is a comic strip that has funny things on it. None of it is dirty."

"...None of it?" Riri heaved a heavy sigh. 'Men...' She thought. 'But at least he has blue hair...'

"Let meh go, would ya?" Riri said randomly, squirming around. He let her go and she clung to him for a moment before letting go and running off. "CRISSI! CRISSI!" She screamed, looking around. "I don't like hide and seek! Come out and play with me! PIGGYBACK!"

"GO THE HELL AWAY!" Kris screamed.

"NEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR! PIGGYBACK!"

"GET THE FUK OFF OF ME! YOU BITCH! GET THE HELL OFF!"

"OWW! Grr... TOBI! GET HER! AHHHHH- NOT ME! NOT ME!" There was a loud, high pitch scream and Riri ran back down the hallway, full speed at Kisame, who stood there with his head tilted slightly to the side, confused at what was going on. "KISAME! HELP ME!" Kisame smirked and waited until she was right in front of him before he grabbed her arm, and jerked her sideways a little, then pulled her behind him, his other arm shooting back to stop her from falling. "Woah..." Murmured Riri, she was dazed for a second before and smiled.

Tobi flashed in front of him and then Kisame punted him across the room, right into Kris, who had another bloody nose, but this time it was just because when Tobi flew into her she smacked her face on the wall and broke her nose.

"AH! Tobi is soooooo sorry Kris-chan!"

"Shut up, Tobi." Kris sighed, not in the mood to yell, seeing that she also had a migraine and was drowsy from sleeping so much, not to mention the blood lose.

Tobi chuckled and patted her back, but he didn't say anything. Kris had a feeling that if he would have said something then she would have killed him.

"Yay! Kisame!" Riri cheered happily, earning a glare from Kris and a smile from the blue man.

"Anytime." Kisame muttered.

"Riri," Kris growled. "Come here. I want to tell you something."

But Kris didn't get to even start her sentence as the room shook, a human-sized chunk of wall hitting the wall opposite. Everyone blinked and stared at the piece of wall, noticing that it was twitching. Within the rubble was a four-eyed nerd.

"Kabuto?" Kris questioned as the man smiled, saying that he saw pretty birdies.

"I told ya it'd work, didn't I?" A figure walked in through the dust and everyone in the room tensed except for the Uzumaki's and the crippled Kabuto. That figure was Orochimaru giving Crissi a piggyback ride, a small bengel tiger cub the size of a four week old kitten, Yuki, on the girl's head.

"UGH!" Kris groaned and pointed that the snake, "Why didn't you throw yourself? Now he might turn as stupid as HIM!" Kris shouted, pointing at Tobi.

"WHAAA!" Tobi lunged at Kris and tackle hugged her to the floor, "SAY YOU LOVE TOBI! SAY IT!" He cried a whine in his voice making it go higher than it was.

"NEVER, JACKASS! AND GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

"NU!"

"Grr." Kris glared holes into his eye ask Tobi crushed her in a hug. "Idiot."

Riri was fazed for a moment before screaming, "TOBI'S A MOLESTER! RAPIST! GET OFF! GET OFF! KRIS! KRIS!" Looking flustered, Riri flung herself at the two but Tobi jumped off, speaking in fast sentences that mushed together, and didn't make sense. She landed on Kris' body with an 'umph!' and then smiled. "SISSY! I SAVED YOU! I DID IT! HURRAY!"

"Don't sing that damn song, you bitch." Kris muttered, shoving Riri off of her and then standing up. She eyed Tobi thoughtfully and then said, "Took you long enough. Just ask; I don't like it when people don't ask for permission. Plus, not in public, you embarrass yourself to easily there. Try in private. Then I can be the only one doing it." She winked at Tobi, and she saw the red eye that flashed, twitch at the suggestion.

"If it's in private how can you know what's going on?" Tobi asked cluelessly, even though Kris could tell he was radiating with annoyance.

"Well, since you're a molester, I just decided to be a stalker. Remember, I'll be watching you."

Riri looked at both of them, her mouth open. "Kris broke, she sounds off. Smarter in a way." She pointed to Tobi. "He did it."

"Um, hey! I get a piggyback ride and I make a great scene just to be ignored?!" Crissi exclaimed form Orochimaru's back.

Kris looked at her and smiled, "Hello. How are you? Are you saying you don't want to be 'secretly' ogling over him, or do you want us to give you a moment?"

Crissi's mouth dropped open and almost hit the floor. "I wasn't ogling! I was just.. just... just looking at his eyes!" Her voice lowered and she assured herself, "Yep. His eyes."

"Crissi, I'll label you a molester as well. Just you don't really touch that often, more like squeeze." Kris said thoughtfully. Crissi's mouth again dropped to the floor and she looked about ready to scream. But in good measure, Riri snickered.

"Oh Crissi you're so screwed," Riri laughed. Kisame walked over to her and held out his hand.

"Here." He said softly, and Riri took it, still laughing. He pulled her up easily and she leaned on him, not even really noticing how pathetic she looked. Kris and Crissi stared at her with wide eyes as she laughed, for real, for the first time. It was a nerdish laugh that made them want to smile. In a way, it made them feel better, and they didn't know why. Usually they would make a gross face if someone laughed like that, but hearing it from Riri with such a genuine spark to it, seemed to throw that other feeling out the window.

"He-he-huh! He-he huh!" She laughed, wheezing a little. Kisame looked puzzled, yet slightly amused. She gasped and then tried to calm herself, but that didn't work. "You," she wheezed, "should see." She wheezed again and then let out a loud laugh. "your faces!" She smiled and leaned all of her weight on Kisame, who raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. "You look so stupid!" He panted and then snickered again. "Tobi left by the way. I think I scared him." She giggled and then turned and hugged Kisame. "I need a hug. My chest hurts."

"I'll hug you anytime." Kisame whispered. Riri nodded and accepted the fact he wasn't going to hug back. That was fine. As long as he didn't kill her, she was good.

"You know, you guys are just so dysfunctional, that it kind of makes it hard to think of you guys as criminals. I mean, of course Pein-sama, Konan, Itachi, Zetsu, Crissi, the weird pale guy and now Kris are pretty serious, but other than that, I don't get it."

Kisame shrugged, "Well, we work whenever he needs us to work. We just kill."

"Doesn't it feel weird to kill?" She asked, looking up at him.

He shrugged, "Well not really. Being a shark as I am, blood gets me excited. So, yes a little, but that always fades." To this Riri thought some perverted thoughts, but kept them to herself, not wanting to embarrass them both.

"Where'd the masked bimbo go?" Crissi asked, looking around. "I swear the orange pain in the ass was just here!"

Kris smiled, "Oh Crissi, he can only be a pain in the ass if-" A gloved hand covered her mouth perfected executing any type of sound she was to make.

Madara's deep and enchanting voice whispered, "Don't finish that sentence, or you will have to face the consequences." Then in his Tobi voice he said, "People shouldn't talk about other people. That's just mean!" He uncovered her mouth and she turned and hugged him.

"I missed you - even if you were gone for less than ten minutes!" She exclaimed, then whispered in his ear, "Don't tempt me. Why are you bribing me anyway? I like consequences, care to do it in private?"

His body tensed, but he hugged her back and cheered, "Tobi missed you too, Kris-Chan~!" He then whispered, "You are a dirty, dirty girl. But don't jump to conclusions. I can't guarantee you would like them."

"Try me." She challenged and then head butted him. She laughed and then tried to move away from him, but he had her pinned to him. "Oh yeah." Kris sighed. "Damnit..."

"TOBI DIDN"T DO ANYTHING! EXPLAIN TO TOBI WHAT HE DID!" Tobi yelled in her ear, fake anime tears running down his eyes as he somehow managed to hug her even closer to his body. Kris was having a hard time trying to think straight when all she could do was feel his body so close and the heat that came from him, it was a good thing she had a little bit of self control... While Kris was fighting an internal battle Tobi screamed, "TOBI NEEDS TO KNOW!"

"TOBI'S A BITCH!" Riri yelled,then turned way so she could glare at the weird pale guy and then snatched Crissi from him. Riri turned to said Crissi, "Do you know why Pein-sama and Konan aren't here yet?"

"Since when do you call Pein, Pein-sama?" Cirris asked.

"Ever since I remembered he could kill me easily." Riri admitted with a smile.

"He can kill me too but I don't-" Riri cut her off.

"You have a freaking snake-dude protecting you." They both stared at Orochimaru, who raised an eyebrow at them.

"Touche, my dear sister, touche."

"Leave Iruka outta this." Riri snapped comically.

"Why? He is fun to annoy." Crissi said as if the brunette was being ridiculous.

"Well, yeah, but- Where did Tobi and Kris go?" Riri asked suddenly, looking around.

"I don't know..." Crissi trailed off then looked at Kisame then at Snake-Bite (she still called him that) and they both shrugged. "Well you guys were sure helpful," Crissi muttered.

"I think they went that way," Slurred someone on the floor, Riri screamed and jumped into Kisame's arms and Crissi put on a 'WTF' face as she stared at Kabuto.

"What... the... FUCK!" Crissi screamed, "Have you have been there the whole fucking time?"

"Y-yeah," Kabuto answered, not really sure as to why Crissi was screaming.

"Why haven't you said anything then?" Crissi shouted, giving him the 'what the hell is your problem' look.

"Uh, I was sort of knocked out because you threw me into the bloody wall so you could get in!" Kabuto shouted, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah, I kinda, maybe, sorta forgot about that." Crissi said, "Heh, sorry?"

"...I hate you..."


	11. Chapter 11

Riri's POV-

"So tired..." I mumbled, crawling to the kitchen. Last night had just been so screwed up. Kisame at one point shoved me off the couch and onto the floor. It woke me up, but I just went back to bed. Then I heard Kris screaming at Tobi, then I woke up with no one else in the living room. "Those bastards just left me... I'll talk to them later," I mumbled.

I entered the kitchen and was too stunned to move. Konan was stabbing a piece of Hidan's arm with a fork.

"You bastard!" She hissed. "That was my waffle!"

"Knock it off, bitch!" Hidan spat, trying to pull his arm away.

Itachi had his head on the table, looking dead.

Kisame was frying what smelled like chicken on a skillet, as is suddenly combusted into the flames every other second.

I gawked at Leader who was eating toast slowly.

Kakuzu was watching him from the corner of his eye and seemed to be taking note of something. Crissi and Orochimaru weren't present.

I sighed and then started to crawl some more.

Kris stalked in slowing down to look around the room and raise an eyebrow. "Is everyone on drugs because I'm sure I only gave Crissi's pills to Itachi."

I gaped at her.

"What?" She asked stealing Konan's waffle and stuffing it in her mouth. Konan glared at her and Kris smiled. "Hi?"

"That WAS MY WAFFLE!" Konan screeched pointing the fork threateningly at Kris.

Kris shook her head at Konan, "Why can't you make another one?"

"Because that one was SPECIAL! Now give it back!" Konan went to do the Heimlech on Kris but a human-sized snake got in her way.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Konan shrieked, backing away.

"Massster ssays for everyone to keep it quiet. Missstress issss ssssssleeping." It hissed, then disappeared.

Kris raised an eyebrow. "Mistress? Wooooow that man has issues."

I looked around frantically, breathing heavily as fear overtook me."It was just like in that one movie-" Kris pimp slapped me.

"Calm down!" Kris exclaimed, "This is nothing like Anacanda."

"WHERE ELSE DOES A HUGE AS FUCK SNAKE POP OUT OF NOWHERE?!" I cried, clutching her shirt and shoving my face in hers. "WHERE?!"

A massive smirk formed on Kris' face, "In Orochi-"

This time I slapped her, "THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE A PERVERT!"

Then the human snake thing was next to me, hissing, "Ssssshh you mussst be quiet while the missstresss ssssleepsss." Then it, just like before, disappeared.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed, clinging to Kris. Kirs flinched and shoved me away quickly, her strength over powering my half assed grip. I would have hit the floor, and most likely my head, very hard if Itachi hadn't come in and caught me. "Itachi?" I asked looked into his coal eyes. He looked at me blankly and straightened up, throwing me to the side after a moment of holding me. Kris frowned.

"You should have let her fall," Kris spat.

Itachi looked at her, a little annoyance in his coal eyes and announced, "Hn."

"Oh Jashin, that..." Kris muttered darkly.

"Tobi's tired..." Tobi mumbled as he shuffled inside the kitchen. "Kris-Chan can you make me some toast?"

Kis scowled, "Make it yourself!"

"But the last time Tobi tried to make toast the toaster blew up." He reasoned, Kris rolled her eyes and gave him the 'I-don't-care' look. In disappointment he looked at me his eyes boring into me, I flinched. "Riri? Will you make Tobi some toast?"

"No." I said shortly, shaking my head, "Make Kris do it, she needs to sharpen up her skills in the kitchen."

Kris kicked me in the side, I gasped and collapsed on the floor. "DON'T QUESTION MY SKILLS!" Kris then turned to the creepy snake and yelled, "I'LL WAKE CRISSI UP IF I FEEL DAMN IT!"

"WHO IS MAKING MY WAFFLE?" Konan yelled, everyone stopped and looked at her.

"I'm not." Hidan murmured, gaze intently on Kris who glared at him and stole his shoe so she could smack him over the head with it.

"Tobi want's his toast!" Tobi whined, pulling on Kris' arm.

"Down, or I smack you," Kris warned, holding the shoe threateningly above her head. Tobi slide away to go pull on my arm and ask for toast.

I groaned, "Pein-sama, will you please do something about the chaos?" Pein looked at me, his eyes looking dead. He hissed at me and stood to walk out the door. I gaped at the place where he had been. Why did he hiss?

"CRISSI! GET YOUR ASS UP!" I heard him yell, then Crissi screaming obscenities at him and then stomping.

"-uking, jackassed, cocksucking, ginger fag." Crissi muttered as she stomped into the kitchen, took Hidan's shoe from Kris and smacked Hidan, Tobi, and Kris across the head with it. "Get lives and put your stuff at the door, you'll be leaving soon." They left to do what they were told. She turned to Itachi and grabbed his head by his hair, lifted it then let it go so it could slam on the table.

He shot up looking frightened, "Where am I?" Crissi rolled her eyes and told him to go get ready to leave and then turned to Konan.

Konan, happier now that she would get her food, sat down with her bloody fork at the table. "I'll wait a little." Konan said smoothly taking the bottom of her shirt to wipe Hidan's blood of off the fork.

Crissi nodded and walked over to Kisame, "What is that?" Crissi asked, her eye twitching a little.

Kisame grinned, "This is fish-"

Crissi didn't let him finish, she grabbed the skillet and threw it in the trash. "No."

Kisame's face turned purple, "You didn't even taste it!" He protested angrily, glaring at Crissi, who shrugged.

"Didn't need to." Crissi replied, pushing past him to make something edible. Kisame left the room in a huff.

Crissi finally looked at me on the floor as she gave Konan her waffles. Crissi sighed and shook her head, helping me up, she dusted me off. "Why were you on the floor?"

"I don't remember..." I answered truthfully.

"Well, I'll make you eggs and pancakes, okay?" Crissi asked, cracking an egg over the side of one of the many skillets she had out. I nodded and sat next to Konan who was happily sucking down her orange juice.

"I'm gonna miss Crissi's food." Konan said, a hand patting her stomach. "It tastes soo good."

I smiled, "Yeah... Who can cook? You? Or one of the men?"

"Me," Konan replied in a heartbeat. "But I will never be as good as Crissi. Or Kris. She made us food one time, it tasted really good."

"I don't think Kisame can cook, but I know I can cook a little, so I hope Itachi can." I voiced, I knew how to make cereal and grilled cheese... and some soup... I am a sucky girl.

"Itachi can make a meat pot roast and some great rabbit and squirrel stew." Konan said, patting my shoulder, "You won't starve, I promise."

7:30am (departure)

"FREEDOM BITCHES!" Kris cried happily, high fiving Kuzu.

"Don't be so happy about not seeing me for so long." Konan growled, slapping Kuzu and Kris across the back of the head.

"Sorry." They muttered reluctantly.

"Imma miss you all soo much!" Crissi cried, glomping everyone around her (Konan, Kris, Tobi (who hugged her back), Kisame, Itachi, Pein, then Riri).

And on went the "I'll miss you"s and "See you in 13 years"s and so on. Until a certain orange haired man cleared his throat and announced, "We do not have an second more for goodbyes, so, feeling as there is no other way for me to say this. GO AWAY!"

This made the sisters laugh and the Akatsuki nod.

Then with Kris' team first, they left. After Kris and her peeps left, then Crissi and Orochimaru left, and the Riri and her group left, waving as they departed.

"Konan," Pein said, Konan turned to him.

"Y-yeah?" Konan replied shakily.

"Are you crying," Pein asked incredulously.

"NO!" Konan huffed, crossing her arms and marching back inside. "Jerk. He should know how pregnant women have a hard time controlling any emotion." She sniffed and continued her rant, "it was all in that book I gave him." She walked back inside and looked around. Good memories filled the tight space and she sighed. "Those aren't really good memories..."

"You'll be fine, Konan. At least we know Kris won't kill our offspring and Riri won't make him soft," Pein cooed, stepping beside her.

"Him?" Konan asked, then snorted. "Pein, it's obviously a girl."

"No, you will birth my son."

"No! I want a girl!"

"I need a son!"

"I refuse to make him gay. Just give me the girl! Goddamit-"

"Don't use my name in vein."

Konan's hands darted out to wrap around Pein's neck. "You are not a God! If anything I am a God!" She shook him until his face turned blue, then dropped him and kicked his balls. She angrily snapped, "It's a fucking girl," She started to tear up a little.. "Asshole. Aw, damn my emotions." She walked off, gripping her arms, while Pein sat there kneeling on the floor, his eyes closed tightly and him gripping his nuts.

"Never. Again." He vowed.

With Riri

"Hmmm, are we there yet?" I asked, bumping Itachi's shoulder.

He looked down and bluntly answered, "No."

. . .

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Anytime soon?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Positive?"

"No."

"Itachi!"

"No."

"Answer me!"

"No."

"Kisame!"

"No."

"Hey, I'm not getting involved."

"No."

"You're so mean."

"No."

"How am I mean?"

"No."

"You won't help me."

Itachi said something different while turning to glare at Kisame, "Don't defy me."

"I can't. I think you broke him."

"Possibly."

"I did not, Itachi knows better."

"No."

"Don't talk about him while he's right there."

"No."

"I can do whatever I want until he answers me."

"No."

"Whatever you want, as in anything?"

"No."

"Kisame, stop being perverted."

"Hn."

"Oh, he spoke."

"Hn."

"He's been speaking, un!"

"Hn."

"Hey, I was talking to Kisame."

"Hn."

"Hehe, speak of the devil."

"Hn."

"Don't talk about him like that!"

"Hn."

"Shut up, un!"

"Hn."

"Kisame! Stop looking at him like that."

"Team."

"He just yelled at you."

"Guys."

"Stop talking, fish fuck, hmm."

"We're here."

"Deidara! Knock it off!"

"Riri?"

"Kisame! Put Samehada back!"

"Deidara?"

"Deidara! Put your clay back!"

"Kisame?"

"Boys! Stop it!"

"Oh well."

"Itachi! Help me!"

I looked around in search for the now missing ninja.

"Itachi?"

"Where did he go?"

I looked at Kisame and hit him in the arm. "You lost him!"

He gave me an incredulous look. "Me? He's your responsibility."

I felt my eyes narrow. I stepped forward and lowered my voice. With every word I spoke, I poked his chest. "He was never my responsibility. He is a human being would doesn't need to be taken care of, just watched. Understood?"

"Die, un!" Deidara bellowed, oblivious to the current matters. I glared up at him and scowled. His little bombs flew down and I let KIsame grab me quickly and jump away to dodge the attack.

"Get back here so I can kick your ass!" Riri yelled. She fought against KIsame's grip and then childishly gave up with a huff.

Deidara tauntingly flew around above me on his huge tan clap bird. I glared up at him, his blue eyes locked with mine for a moment and his expression went weird. Instead of glaring back he seemed to wink, a cocky smile on his face.

I snapped, my eye twitching. I yelled, "Get that cocky smirk of your face before I shove your dick in it!"

Deidara mused back, raising his eyebrows, "Getting touchy-feely are we, hmm?"

I scowled at him and hissed, "Yeah, after I rip it off." I looked at Kisame and glared at him. "Put me down."

"No can do, cupcake."

"I will hurt you. Or get someone else to do it," I threatened.

Kisame chuckled and his fingers rubbed on my hip bones. "Who else is there? I'm your biggest enemy right now."

I gave him a pointed look and smiled. "I have my split personality!"

Kisame tilted his head to the side. "You mean the one with intelligence?"

I gawked at him and started struggling to get away from him. "Asshole! I am very smart! I just don't show it! Get your hands off of me!" He let go and I fell on my legs. I quickly bent my legs to absorb the impact and then somersaulted away from him. I got to my knees and summoned my katanas. That blonde bitch was going down. I tilted my head to the sky and tried to melt Deidara with my eyes as he noticed my unspoken challenge.

His bird zoomed down and he jumped off.

"Good boy, you are going to fight fair," I said with the feminine taunt.

He smirked. "I can't hurt women."

"Liar, you do it all of the time."

"Lair, am I? Well, at least I am more aware of what's going on."

I sighed and nodded. "He's right behind me isn't he?" Deidara nodded. "Ready to kill me?" Deidara shrugged. I let out a whimper and turned around. Itachi glared down at me and I flinched back. His Sharingan was still activated and as intimidating as ever. I hissed in a breath then was clinging to Deidara. "Get me out of here! I angered him somehow!"

"You angered me too, un!" Deidara snapped.

I looked at him like he was crazy. "But you won't really kill me. Severely hurt me, maybe. Kill me? Never. So let's go!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you, pest."

"Takes one to know one."

"Is that so? I think it takes a moron to think she's a genius."

"Well, great minds think alike."

"Are you saying I'm great?"

"No, I just called you a moron."

He scoffed, "The only moron here is you. Don't include me too make yourself feel better."

"Deidara, how old were you when you stopped going to school?"

"What's school, hmm?"

"Wow..."

"Deidara, Nichole." Itachi growled. Our eyes both widened at each other and we looked at Itachi slowly. He was glaring at us, but reluctantly pointed to the forest.

"Hehe, look at all of the trees," I mused.

Itachi cleared his throat, menace leaking from his lips. I felt my throat constrict and then I hit Deidara over the head, forcing a glare on him.

"Stupid blond, don't say those things. I don't care if it comes with your hair," I snarled.

He narrowed his eyes at me and snarled back, "Don't you even think about trying that trick, un! He's-" Another hand connected to the back of his head and Deidara fell over. Before I could go down with him, an arm circled around my core and held me up. I looked up, and smiled at Itachi.

"He's really smart. That's why he hit you."

"Don't touch what's not yours Deidara," Itachi said simply. I couldn't help the blush that powdered onto my cheeks. "Don't think too much of it," He muttered. I nodded, and then stared at his arm that was still wrapped firmly around me. I felt my face heat more. Deidara pushed himself off of the ground and spun around to face us. He looked at me before his eyes drifted to Itachi.

"I could say the same to you, Uchiha, un," Deidara spat. Instead of continuing further with an argument, he walked off. I gulped, Deidara's words bothering me a little bit. What the hell is with these boys when they are around me? I clear my throat and looked at Itachi. He glanced down at me, annoyance filled gaze now locked on me.

"I didn't do anything! You're the one who's holding me!"

"Hn," he muttered, dropping me. I groaned a little as I hit the ground, but just stayed there.

I groaned again as Kisame came back, and looked at me, then Itachi. He narrowed his eyes and then said, "Itachi, what did you do?" while looking right at me.

"He didn't do anything. Deidara tried to blow me up and he helped meh. So I just decided to hug the ground. Do you know how soft this grass is? It's nice." I sighed and layed my head down on the smooth blades. They really were soft.

I heard Kisame sigh and then I was laying over his shoulder as he started marching toward the base entrance. Something I hadn't seen before.

I laughed at Itachi who was about half a foot under me. "I'm so tall..." I mumbled to myself.

Itachi rolled his eyes and shook his head a little, but I knew he was mentally thinking that I was amusing. Everyone knew I'm the life of a party.

I giggled and tried to poke his nose but he did a Matrix move and leaned back, eyebrow raised.

I "Ohh"ed and giggled again, "Dude, you're like a ninja!" Itachi gave me the 'no shit' look.

"Wa-wait a minute... No I'm mean-" Itachi smirked and shook his head while Kisame chuckled.

"Don't overwork you pea brain, Riri," Kisame teased and I kicked him in the gut.

"Don't expect a dick after I rip yours off. Then, I can hit a flat chest blue woman," I deadpanned. Kisame's chuckling died down and he cleared his throat.

"Uh, it was Itachi?" I sighed and shook my head.

"Sweetie, I know better." I growled, glaring terribly at him. I huffed childishly when a sexy smirk curled onto the blue man's lips. I felt my face heat as he did it and let my head hang to cover it up. Itachi saw and his eyes narrowed slightly.


	12. Chapter 12

Crissi's POV

It was just me, Orochimaru, Kabuto and Sasuke's team. But lucky for me it was just Sasuke's team and I here in the base, Snakey was off doing things. But nothing would ruin my fun time though. This place was really dirty, and I knew just how to clean it.

I grinned devilishly at my IPod and my portable speakers. "Oh hell yes." I cheered to myself as an idea popped into my mind, a creepy grin ghosted on my face.

'You aren't going to do what I think you're going to do are you?' Ami whined, my grin widened on my face.

"What got a problem with some cleaning?" I asked her.

'No just on how you're going to do it.' Ami replied curtly, she seemed annoyed and I was only feeding my happiness for what I was about to do.

"Oh hush it," I told her, "enjoy the fact that I at least know what to wear, what song, and what to do. Most people just grab an old T-Shirt and run around, crappily cleaning. I'm doing mine in style."

Ami sighed, 'Yeah, sure. Style.'

I chuckled and ran to my room to get what I needed...

About twelvish minutes later I came back out with a white button up shirt that hung down to just a little over my waist and white cute panties. The ones with thong like strings on the sides, but the rest was like regular panties. Just to add a little more girly flare to it, I grabbed the ones with a cream colored smiley face on the butt. I also had on white tube socks. Happy with my look I grabbed my supplies and placed them all in bucket, making my way to my speakers that, with some random luck, had been wired to play everywhere in the base.

"Now for the music," I giggled to myself while plugging in my IPod to the speakers so that they blasted out the song, "Old Rock n' Roll" by Bob Seger.

'Ugh, I can't believe you're doing this, I bet you ten bucks one of, or all, of Team Taka are going to walk in on you. You can't seduce any of them!' Ami exclaimed in my head, a hint of contradiction in her voice. I winced and then I gaped at her words.

"I shall only seduce my smexy snake! The emo can go cut himself in a corner, along with his personal whore." I yelled back. With an annoyed shake of my head and got started.

I grabbed the broom and clicked the play button. I couldn't help but sing along, "Just take those old records off the shelf, I sit and listen to them by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. Still like the old time rock n' roll, that kind of music just soothes the soul!" I skidded around as sang, "Don't try to take me to a disco, you'll never even get me out on the floor." I started dancing randomly, and enjoyed it.

Then I started sweeping like Cinderella for a while, just humming along. (AKA, I was just moving the broom around, not really cleaning at all.)

Then I started up again, "Won't go to hear them play a tango - I'd rather hear some blues or funky old soul. There's only one sure way to get me to go. Start playin some old rock n roll. Call me a relic, call me what you will." I threw down the broom and grabbed the feather duster from my bucket and ran over to cabinets to dust the tops. "Say I'm old fashioned, say I'm over the hill. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock n roll! Still like that old time rock n roll, that kind of music just soothes the soul. I reminisce about the days of old. With that old time rock n roll!" I beamed at the saxomophone's solo.

I grabbed the broom again and put the wooded end into my mouth and began to act as if I was playing the sax. Oh the joy of old music.

Kris POV

Currently, Tobi, Hidan, Kuzu, and I were all walking to our base near Konoha, not very eventful but very foggy and there was a lot of trees. I was riding on Tobi's back and enjoying every second of it. Hidan was getting strangled because he threatened to burn Kuzu's money if Kuzu didn't answer his question over how long we had to wait until we would be there.. Looking around at Kakuzu try to strangle Hidan with his internal ropes of rape, a thought crossed my mind.

I gasped and gripped Tobi's shoulders. "Dude! Did you know that if you, Hidan, and Kakuzu were mixed into one, you would not only be a walking sex God," I felt Tobi chuckle a little under me but I went on, "but also S-Man? Or, as Riri states it, an S-babe - now that I think about that, its weird she calls him that. She is scared shitless when she thinks he is close to her."

Tobi looked over his shoulder at me and questioned in his childish voice that sounded no where near as sexy as his normal voice, "S-Man?"

I nodded, "Yeah, Slender Man. He is a mythical dude who goes around and abducts humans, he is really tall and very very very very very very cool. He is tall, can teleport, lives forever, and, my favorite part, he has shadow ropes. He is super amazing."

"Tobi don't get how you would get all of that from us." He replied. A dark glint came from his eye.

I shrugged, "You, my dear boy, are going to watch Marble Hornets with me."

"What's-"

"I'm going to blow you up, un!" Rang through the forest and trolled Tobi's and my conversation, as well as Kuzu's strangling.

I stopped talking and looked around. "What the fuck? Were we just trolled?"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" A voice like Riri's screamed, it sounded far away and shrill.

I sighed and shook my head. "If they don't die of Itachi's Sharingan, they are going to die of recklessness. Probably kill each other."

My group let out mumbles of agreement.

"Now, like I was saying..."

Riri POV

I strutted through the open door and frowned. I turned around and walked right back out.

Kisame let out a bitter, "Ha." and gripped my arm roughly. He threw my back into the base and laughed as I ran into a wall. I glared at him, but his laugh was kind of contagious, and I began laughing slightly too. Itachi hummed slightly and eyed us both before shimmering into thin air. Deidara huffed and marched inside, and started flipping switches. I hissed as artificial light bored into my eyes. Kisame stopped laughing and covered my eyes in his big hands. I smiled as he pecked my lips. We must have been alone. He wouldn't do that in public. I kissed him back before he could retract his lips and chuckled lightly.

"Bastard," I whispered. He sighed and I could imagine him shaking his head.

"It's only because you bring out the worst in me," he teased.

"I could say the same to you, you blue headed fish fuck. Oh, ow. No I take that back. Cute as fuck blue haired asshole. There. Is that better?"

Kisame snickered at me, and his hand left my eyes. I opened them to see an empty space.

"Damnit. He got away." I looked around the dusty dirty living room and cringed, a disgusted frown on my face. With a soft stone grumble, the door started closing. I gasped and looked around. "Should I stay or should I go?" I whispered, then smirk. "Da-nana-nana-nana-na. Should I go or should I stay now? If I go I will be trouble! If I stay I will be double..." I stopped singing and bolted for the door.

I only had about two feet before the door closed, so it was easy to slip out. I chuckled as real light hit my eyes and was satisfied when I heard the door close behind me.

"Ah-ha! I'm free!" Then I looked around at the forest.

The forest looked back and must have joked, "Ha bitch you're lost!" Because on impulse I turned around and gasped.

There was no door. Instead there was a thin, pathetic tree. I pressed my hand to the tree bark. "Fuck." There was no sign of a door, and with the width it had been, this tree didn't seem like it could stretch that far. I gasped again and felt around the tree. I walked slow circles around the thin trunk with my hand tracing the bark patterns. Well, until I saw an ant. I screamed and ran away from the tree, into more forest with trees that looked a lot like that one. Luckily I hit a rock and flew into an open field were in front of a pathetic looking group of children I felt my eyes narrow and I couldn't let myself explode or do anything like hug the cute little creatures "Hey girls." I felt my eyes bug at my strained tone. I sounded creepy and like someone who was creepily asking, "Hey little boy, do you want some candy?" I gawked at my words and noticed something rise about a foot next to me. I glanced that way and I bit my lip, trying to contain myself as the woman gave me a bewildered look and started ushering her kids away. I opened my mouth in shock and called after them, "No, I'm sorry! I like your children!" I screamed, almost sounding angry. I almost ran after them, but a pair of arms wrapped around me and started dragging me towards the forest. The woman's eyes bugged at the thing dragging me away and she started running, having her kids chase after her.

"Come my children! Run! Run away!" She yelled in a panicked voice.

I started struggling too, wanting to get away. What was holding me? Demons! Demons! I started yelling into the hand and shaking and struggling until Itachi hissed, "Enough." I screamed.

HE'S WORSE THAN A DEMON! I stopped moving, but my eyes were still wide. Wide with 'what the fuck just happened?!' I was silent and still, obviously a bad sign. I think I was having a heart attack. Itachi sighed after backing away far enough and whispered in my ear, "No noise when I take my hand away." Mence soaked his words, making me tremble on the inside. I nodded and his hand moved away. I released a soundless breath it did, so they moved away together. He sucked in a big breath, and let it out loudly, as if extremely annoyed. I winced slightly, but didn't go too far. I was wincing into him. I waited for it. And waited for it.

'It' being whatever he was going to throw at me.

He turned me around to face him, his expression went from blank to mildly surprised, and amused. "I didn't know you had it in you to be a pedophile."

I gawked and pointed at him hissing, "I didn't mean to say that, little girls get me worked up."

He raised an eyebrow and I dropped to my knees, curling into an almost ball.

"I am not going to rape your children! I like children! I! Like! Children! And I might like little boys... NO! What am I saying? I like big boys! Big boys with big dicks!" I gasped and slapped my hands over my mouth. I snapped my eyes to Itachi, who smiled faintly.

"Riri, you are, in fact, a pedophile." Itachi informed patting my head and walking away.

"NOO! Itachi wait! Let me prove to you that I'm not a pedophile!" I cried, racing after him.

He stopped abruptly, making me run into his back. I stumbled back and landed on my butt.

I growled in frustration and started stomping on the ground. "NO! Not like that! I swear I'm not hitting on you. Well, not unless you want me to. No what am I saying?! But I'm single? Am I in a relationship? Is there really anything going on? Well, you have tried to rape me... And people seem to like me for some reason. Am I a likable person? Do you like me? I like you. You have the prettiest hair i have ever seen. And gorgeous eyes. I like you a lot. You're like, my best friend. The girls are nice friends, but they are family. You're different. I like it. I like that difference... What were we talking about?" I paused and then my face heated into a flushed blush. "OH!" I lunged at Itachi, now standing. I gripped his cloak and tugged on it. "Don't take that the wrong way! Please! I didn't mean let me prove myself sexual wise. I promise! NO!" I let my knees buckle, my hands still gripping his cloak. I started crying. Why am I such an idiot?

Itachi sighed and pulled me up on my feet. "You need to learn to shut up when you start running your mouth you blurt out the stupidest shit." I blushed at his words. Was that him cussing? He never cusses. He was scolding me like a child. Does that mean he cares, or that he thinks I'm a pest?

"I know..." I paused and noticed a blush creep on to Itachi's face. I blinked at it, but he turned his head and started to drag me back farther into the forest. But I kept staring at his face, pondering the possibilities of that blush being my imagination. What an interesting 13 years this was destined to be.

Kris' POV

"Bitch please," I rolled my eyes at Hidan, then started laughing at the glare I got from Kuzu. I kissed the air in front of me and he rolled his christmas colored eyes at my antics.

I was sitting sideways in Hidan's lap on a black, plush, leather couch. I was on Hidan's lap because Kuzu was sitting to the right of Hidan, in front of me, and Tobi to the left of Hidan, Tobi was sitting behind me, braiding my hair while Hidan and I fought over who would win in Slender vs Freddy. So far I was winning.

I had originally been sitting on the right of Hidan when Kuzu came in, reading his miser book. But, Kuzu, not wanting to be interrupted when he was reading, 'Gold Coin Central: How to win even more money when already rich,' had picked me up, plopped me down on Hidan's lap, and warned me that if any of us three did anything he would kill us. Being the creepy, lovable, Kakuzu that I know and love, every 5 minutes he looked at us and glared at my kissy faces that I made at him while pointing at Hidan then making a heart and giving him a thumbs up, smiling while I did so.

"Bitch don't you 'bitch please' me!" Hidan roared in my ear, I looked away from Kuzu and glared at him as he continued. "Freddy is the one who would would win!"

"Idiot!" I seethed, "Freddy can die just as easily as Jason, you just have to break the head such as some bullets! Slender had been stabbed, shot, you name it!"

"No that fucker didn't," Hidan challenged.

I nodded, "Uh, yes he fucking did!"

"Show me, bitch!"

I smirked, I had been wanting him to say that. "Fine," I hopped out of his lap and ran through the door to the kitchen, nearly slipping into Kakuzu who was coming into the room I was exiting. "Ah! Ninjaness skills is so eevvviiilll!" I whined as I smiled at his glaring form and slipped past him into the kitchen.

I ran to the door leading into the back hallway where the bedrooms/bathrooms were and into the room that I owned all to myself. I rummaged through my bags and grabbed my scroll that held all of my electronics in it. I summoned my laptop and, making sure it was charged, I ran back to where Hidan was.

I sat back on his lap, but only for a second before Tobi pulled me onto his. I shrugged as I went on to youtube and typed in "Mary Asher Phone Call" and clicked enter. I clicked the video made by TribeTwelve and started the video at 7:43, where the part Hidan needed to see was.

I turned my laptop to where Hidan, Tobi, and I could see it.

The video was of a man with curly short black hair and tan skin talking rummaging around in his dresser, he was ranting on how he was going to shoot Slender when he pulled out a gun and loaded it. He stood up and took the camera with him, but as he did the screen choked and then turned back to normal.

It began again when the man got his gun ready and walked into the hallway. His camera had problems with getting his night vision on and he struggled with that before he turned on his camera's light. He walked down the hallway and looked at his kitchen before going to his front door and looking out.

No one, or thing, mind you, was there.

He walked back to the hallway, his camera still facing his kitchen. He gasped and the camera to Slender Man who was at the end of the hallway. He pointed the gun at Slender and started to rant about his 'gift'.

I felt a smirk form on my face as the man on the screen pointed the gun at Slender. I looked over to see that Kuzu was standing behind the couch, watching, also that Hidan was glaring at my laptop.

The man, after announcing that he had a present for Slender, began to shoot him. One, two, three, FOUR times! Then the screen choked and the man gasped, then began to hack up and lung, stumbling away from Slender Man.

"Told you." I teased, making Hidan glare at me.

"Shut up and watch the WHAT THE FUCK! KAKUZU WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACKING THAT GUY UP?!"

Kakuzu sighed and shook his head. "That's not me, that's him. He can use-"

"Scary thick black ropes of rape!" I butted in. Kuzu glared at me and I tried to contain my laughter by biting my lip.

Hidan was blushing and Tobi covered his ears and was singing "lalalalalala, Tobi can't hear you~!"

I looked at Kuzu and he flicked me in the head, hard. "Shut up, you are acting like an idiot!" Kakuzu grumbled to Tobi.

We were all quiet. I shifted my old as hell laptop to a different part of my legs before they got melted.

"I told you Slender would win if he and Jason-"

"Freddy" Hidan interrupted. I gave him a look.

"Whatever, anyway. Slender Man would win."

"NO HE WOULD NOT!"

Kakuzu groaned and growled, "Why do I have to spend 13 years with these idiots?"

"You spend time with me, Kuzu, because you luv me!" I answered, giving him puppy dog eyes that he rolled his eyes to.

Yup this would be a fun 13 years...

Crissi's POV

"You think we should let her know we are here?"

"No, I'm enjoying thissss."

"Really?"

"Yesssss."

"WAH! WAH! I'm so excited! Da! Da! Da! Da! That I just can't hide it! Da! Da! Da! Da!"

There was a loud crash and I ran into a wall, stunning myself momentarily. But I quickly shook it off and sprung up. I looked around, my back was to the door. I still had the ear buds in my ears. I sighed at the song, suddenly not interested. I ripped out my ipod from the shirt's pocket and flipped through the artists. I exclaimed, "Ah-ha!" as I stabbed my ipod's screen, and squealed as Hollywood Undead started playing.

I stopped. I didn't have Hollywood Undead on my IPod...

"I have Kris' IPod." I muttered to myself, turning on my heel I saw Orochimaru standing with his arms crossed next to a emotionless Sasuke. I felt my eyes widen a little, but I scoffed it off and shrugged. Not like they really cared. "Sup. I'm going to die very soon, so whatever you want, say it fast."

"What? Why would you die?" Oro asked.

"I have Kris' Ipod. Prepare for the world to end. Just to let you know, I want: loving sister that made a grave mistake, on my tombstone."

Oro rolled his beautiful eyes and walked over to me, "I'm ssure sshe won't kill you."

I sighed, "Well you haven't known her as long as I have so I understand that you don't get just how important this little thing is to her."

"Really?" He asked, folding his arms like a child. Crissi rolled her eyes and started to act like a mother would.

"Yes really. This ipod has certain Hollywood Undead songs that mine doesn't, and is missing a lot of songs that I know are on my ipod, therefore, Kris will notice that she has mine when she hears what she calls 'the shitty oldies' and will either come here, god help us all, to get her ipod back and will go through anyone of you to get it. Or she'll wait until the 13 years are up, which by then all of the pent up 'I-want-my-ipod-ness' will explode and we will all die by uneeded nor wanted early cremation most likely, or she'll bury us alive, or maybe even drown us if she wants to watch us struggle." There was silence as Crissi said this with nonchalance and was tugging her shirt back onto her shoulder.

Sasuke turned to Orochimaru and whispered, as if he hated to admit it.

"She's thorough." He thought for a moment. "And freaking weird...and slightly scary."

Orochimaru smirked, "Just how I like her." He whispered back and Sasuke made a blank face at him and Orochimaru rose an eyebrow. "Problem?"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted out, swiftly turning on his heel and leaving. Orochimaru turned and saw that Crissi was no longer in the room, and went looking for her. He found her in the kitchen, her head in the fridge.

"Orochi, we need food...badly. The only things in here are Mayo and something that's moving in the back of the- GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" She started screaming, hopping around with her left arm held as far away from her as humanly possible and then some.

On her hand was a huge spider that looked as if mold was growing and thriving on it's back.

Orochimaru quickly grabbed the offending arachnid and threw it out the window.

"So you're scared of spiders?" Crissi shivered as she spoke.

"Not unless it's on me. I hate it when bugs or spiders touch me... it's so creepy. Do you have any other bases? Preferably one above ground?" Kabuto appeared with a manilla folder in his hand and laid it on the kitchen table.

"Here's the file on the hideouts, and here's," He pulled out a smaller manilla folder, "the information that I have gathered on your condition."

Crissi smiled and pecked Kabuto on the cheek. "Thankies dude." Kabuto blinked, his face beet red, and ran away as Orochimaru gave him an evil look. Crissi started opening the Hideout folder and Orochimaru sat next to her and they began to discuss where to move.

Sasuke watched sneakily form the doorway as the two argued and discussed, reminding him of the married couples that he had seen in Konoha. He started walking to the training room, mumbling. "This will be an amusing 13 years..."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N  
Britt3899:** Hi people who actually read this story! Wondering what happens next to Crissi, Kris and Riri? Well just wait a few and you'll find out in the next part of the AkaKatz series; The AkaKatz Trio  
There will be three stories in this Trio; Riri's 13yrs, Crissi's 13yrs and Kris's 13yrs. QOD is writing Kris's, Twinkie is Writing Riri's and I'm writing Crissi's. They will all be uploaded on this account (Britt3899) though... Maybe I should just make an acc for all of our co-written stories ...** (QOD216:**_ Nah, I'm to lazy to want to vote on that... I'll give ya some credit. *Wink* But really, I don't want to make another account when you can just post them, Britt.__**) **_But yes, there is more AkaKatz :D_** ( Twinkie: **_**i like the joint account Idea! A joint account for everyone! ::::DDD:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:**_**)**_

_[Edit this however you want]_

* * *

**Britt3899:** This is what happens when I put 'edit this however you want' on something that is google docs shared with those two... lol

So yeah, there will be more!

Review, give us ideas, say random shizz, anything. It keeps us alive.

Oh! And I'm now officially on FictionPress, so go check it out. Same username!


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